This was gonna be
an all-in-one thing, but that's proving to be
impossible. I may not get to them all in a row, but
this will certainly be 3 seperate entries this
As I drove back
from the commercial audition last Thursday the feeling
was unmistakable. Charlotte had seen a breakdown for
an EA Sports Videogame commercial and thought I'd be a
good fit. It was nice of her and totally unexpected.
It was also the final piece in this strange odyssey of
re-living 2002 together, this time in hyper-drive.
That unmistakable feeling was realizing all of the
similarities that were now overwhelming.
For those of you
who are reading say... just your 300th entry and not
your 538th? In 2001/2002 Charlotte and I were building
towards this one big opportunity to showcase 4tvs and
The Trinitrons on a huge level: the Aspen Comedy
Festival. That singular moment would lead to several
opportunities...opportunities we were also preparing
for at the same time. Writing a pilot and script
ideas, coming up with show ideas for a development
deal... all the things you need to have prepared
because of the incredible exposure of Aspen. Of
course, Aspen didn't happen. It was a big failure for
4tvs and my focus internally turned to: "Where
is that next moment?" Charlotte's however never veered
from the path. She still wanted to prepare for all of
those opportunities with or without the exposure Aspen
would have brought. Ironically the last thing she did
as a manager was submit me to a videogame related
audition. Spooky huh?
Let's add even
more to the scenario: Last week I met with
Charlotte for the first time. Yes, amazingly,
everything up to this point has been phone/internet.
Charlotte suggested Vitello's (infamous for the Robert
Blake murder, insert jokes now), and it was a surreal
experience of for both of us. The table we sat at was
literally on a raised stage and it actually seemed
strange there weren't cameras on us. As well,
I have NO pictures of Charlotte. Seriously, not
one. Nothing on the net...NOTHIN'. So seeing
her again was literally as if I had walked to 2002
and sat down for some Chicken Parm. ANYWAY, the
reason? To talk about "Life after America's Got
Talent". Not letting 4tvs die, working on show ideas
around the concept... basically, starting up all the
things we were working on in 2002 and working towards
pitching these show ideas.
It's the exact
same scenario. From the pending huge exposure, to the
eventual letdown, to the crossroads of where to go
next after that letdown, it's EXACTLY THE SAME.
Someone is trying to teach us both a lesson. Someone
is trying REALLY goddamn hard. And just like 2002,
none of it makes a fuckin' lick of sense to me.
Reality check: Here's a concept that has failed
miserably on every possible level. Here's a guy who at
30 has done nothing to make a name for himself or
build any type of following, yet it's somehow feasible
that the next step is to pitch not just a show, but a
show STARING said sterling success story? What am I
missing? Why isn't the next step gaining some exposure
for the act? Touring? Getting some buzz? Playing
around town? Making a new 4tvs live show? Why
is our path exactly the same when we lose
Aspen/America's Got Talent?
See, it all made
sense with AGT. Aside from the exposure of millions
watching it, the fact that a network thought the
concept was good enough to showcase speaks
volumes. That lends credibility right off the bat.
Then of course if I stay on the show as the weeks
progress, whew - huge. Believe me, during those weeks
Charlotte and I both would be writing and preparing
like CRAZY. Pitching shows would be a given. You push
and push and push. You take that buzz and
...of course now
what. There is no buzz, there is anti-buzz. Yes,
I want 4tvs to be my first national exposure, no
doubt. It is an amazing canvas to showcase your
talents. Nooooooooooo doubt. But it is more than
obvious to me, that after over SEVEN YEARS, that
it might be time to look at my baby without the bias
of "parent", and say: "No one's buying it dawg. Let it
go." And believe me, it's incomprehensible to me that
no one's buying it. WAIT until you see that
fuggin' SHOW PEOPLE! AHHH. Once you get past all
the goofy acts (which are pretty funny), and see the
acts they liked and moved onto the next round? Holy
whore's shit - you guys will think you're in the
Wow. Holy Whore's
Shit. That is GENIUS ADAM. Seriously, that's the
saying of the century right there.
I can't get past the fact that we're setting
ourselves up for failure. Who gets their own TV show
without ANY FOLLOWING? I mean, the closest I
can possibly come to is Andy Milonakis. However,
behind the scenes you know that he had a HUUUUUUUGE
internet following (based mainly on the fact that
everyone thought he was 12) and Jimmy Kimmel took him
under his wing and made it happen. Those are 2 pretty
huge goddamn factors right there. Hell, not even huge
- those ARE the factors.
So that's the rub.
It's the saaaaaaaaaaame rub. The difference this time?
All that other bullshit with Charlotte and I are no
longer there. By the time we got to this point in 2002
we were ready to BOX. No really, a boxing match would
have been an entry video...and truth be told - it'd
have been a good fight. Now however, that hostility
just ain't there. For me, the stress of everything
just isn't near the same level as it was in 2002. Hard
to believe huh? Back then I was stressed because
a failure meant the eventual trip back to Ohio. Now?
Shiiiiiiiit. I ain't goin' NOWHERE. No, now it hurts
like a break-up. I wanted AGT so bad it
physically hurts. I can say all the right things,
but my body is laughing at me. I am depressed. No way
around it. I can't talk myself out of this one. Saw a
new promo last night and it put me in a funk
INSTANTLY. I loved April 2006 more than any month in
the history of my life. It was the most incredible
calendar month I've ever known. It felt so
spectacular... whew. Just thinking about it now - wow.
THAT is what kills me about AGT. I felt
that rush again. I felt the Comedy Store...hell I
topped it. I want that feeling back, and
I want it back BADLY.
there's the situation. There's
part one. I'm certain there's something in
here that will piss Charlotte off...but
now she has the ability to correct me
PUBLICALLY on the boards. :-) It is
morbidly interesting to me to see how Adam
& Charlotte play this out. How do they
deal with this 2nd chance at the exact
same situation? Who gives in? Who
changes? Who doesn't? Who
Certainly wish I
could just read about it sometimes...