YouTube link added 02.01.09
9:17 AM, Tuesday, June 6th, 2006:
This was gonna be an all-in-one thing, but that's proving to be impossible. I may not get to them all in a row, but this will certainly be 3 seperate entries this month.
As I drove back from the commercial audition last Thursday the feeling was unmistakable. Charlotte had seen a breakdown for an EA Sports Videogame commercial and thought I'd be a good fit. It was nice of her and totally unexpected. It was also the final piece in this strange odyssey of re-living 2002 together, this time in hyper-drive. That unmistakable feeling was realizing all of the similarities that were now overwhelming.
For those of you who are reading say... just your 300th entry and not your 538th? In 2001/2002 Charlotte and I were building towards this one big opportunity to showcase 4tvs and The Trinitrons on a huge level: the Aspen Comedy Festival. That singular moment would lead to several opportunities...opportunities we were also preparing for at the same time. Writing a pilot and script ideas, coming up with show ideas for a development deal... all the things you need to have prepared because of the incredible exposure of Aspen. Of course, Aspen didn't happen. It was a big failure for 4tvs and my focus internally turned to:  "Where is that next moment?" Charlotte's however never veered from the path. She still wanted to prepare for all of those opportunities with or without the exposure Aspen would have brought. Ironically the last thing she did as a manager was submit me to a videogame related audition. Spooky huh?
Let's add even more to the scenario: Last week I met with Charlotte for the first time. Yes, amazingly, everything up to this point has been phone/internet. Charlotte suggested Vitello's (infamous for the Robert Blake murder, insert jokes now), and it was a surreal experience of for both of us. The table we sat at was literally on a raised stage and it actually seemed strange there weren't cameras on us. As well, I have NO pictures of Charlotte. Seriously, not one. Nothing on the net...NOTHIN'. So seeing her again was literally as if I had walked to 2002 and sat down for some Chicken Parm. ANYWAY, the reason? To talk about "Life after America's Got Talent". Not letting 4tvs die, working on show ideas around the concept... basically, starting up all the things we were working on in 2002 and working towards pitching these show ideas.
It's the exact same scenario. From the pending huge exposure, to the eventual letdown, to the crossroads of where to go next after that letdown, it's EXACTLY THE SAME. Someone is trying to teach us both a lesson. Someone is trying REALLY goddamn hard. And just like 2002, none of it makes a fuckin' lick of sense to me. Reality check: Here's a concept that has failed miserably on every possible level. Here's a guy who at 30 has done nothing to make a name for himself or build any type of following, yet it's somehow feasible that the next step is to pitch not just a show, but a show STARING said sterling success story? What am I missing? Why isn't the next step gaining some exposure for the act? Touring? Getting some buzz? Playing around town? Making a new 4tvs live show? Why is our path exactly the same when we lose Aspen/America's Got Talent?
See, it all made sense with AGT. Aside from the exposure of millions watching it, the fact that a network thought the concept was good enough to showcase speaks volumes. That lends credibility right off the bat. Then of course if I stay on the show as the weeks progress, whew - huge. Believe me, during those weeks Charlotte and I both would be writing and preparing like CRAZY. Pitching shows would be a given. You push and push and push. You take that buzz and run...
...of course now what. There is no buzz, there is anti-buzz. Yes, I want 4tvs to be my first national exposure, no doubt. It is an amazing canvas to showcase your talents. Nooooooooooo doubt. But it is more than obvious to me, that after over SEVEN YEARS, that it might be time to look at my baby without the bias of "parent", and say: "No one's buying it dawg. Let it go." And believe me, it's incomprehensible to me that no one's buying it. WAIT until you see that fuggin' SHOW PEOPLE! AHHH. Once you get past all the goofy acts (which are pretty funny), and see the acts they liked and moved onto the next round? Holy whore's shit - you guys will think you're in the twilight zone.
Wow. Holy Whore's Shit. That is GENIUS ADAM. Seriously, that's the saying of the century right there.
Anyway, I can't get past the fact that we're setting ourselves up for failure. Who gets their own TV show without ANY FOLLOWING? I mean, the closest I can possibly come to is Andy Milonakis. However, behind the scenes you know that he had a HUUUUUUUGE internet following (based mainly on the fact that everyone thought he was 12) and Jimmy Kimmel took him under his wing and made it happen. Those are 2 pretty huge goddamn factors right there. Hell, not even huge - those ARE the factors.
So that's the rub. It's the saaaaaaaaaaame rub. The difference this time? All that other bullshit with Charlotte and I are no longer there. By the time we got to this point in 2002 we were ready to BOX. No really, a boxing match would have been an entry video...and truth be told - it'd have been a good fight. Now however, that hostility just ain't there. For me, the stress of everything just isn't near the same level as it was in 2002. Hard to believe huh? Back then I was stressed because a failure meant the eventual trip back to Ohio. Now? Shiiiiiiiit. I ain't goin' NOWHERE. No, now it hurts like a break-up. I wanted AGT so bad it physically hurts. I can say all the right things, but my body is laughing at me. I am depressed. No way around it. I can't talk myself out of this one. Saw a new promo last night and it put me in a funk INSTANTLY. I loved April 2006 more than any month in the history of my life. It was the most incredible calendar month I've ever known. It felt so spectacular... whew. Just thinking about it now - wow. THAT is what kills me about AGT. I felt that rush again. I felt the Comedy Store...hell I topped it. I want that feeling back, and I want it back BADLY.
So there's the situation. There's typing on eggshells part one. I'm certain there's something in here that will piss Charlotte off...but now she has the ability to correct me PUBLICALLY on the boards. :-) It is morbidly interesting to me to see how Adam & Charlotte play this out. How do they deal with this 2nd chance at the exact same situation? Who gives in? Who changes? Who doesn't? Who blinks?
Certainly wish I could just read about it sometimes...