(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)
YouTube link added 8.23.08
11:48 PM, Monday, May 29th, 2006:
Because of this project, I'm forced to instantly look at everything as a chapter in my life. There's added weight, pressure and power to every single choice without a legitimate way to avoid it...again because I choose to chronicle it in such a fashion. It does indeed beget drama that otherwise wouldn't be comprehended until long after, but I have to admit that intrigues me. It intrigues me because it's the unabashed truth before the 20/20 hindsight. It's why I obsess over details and take in as much as possible to get perspective on a situation - that way I get to live the moment to its fullest RIGHT THEN, not years later looking back. It's something I cherish deeply about "The Journey".
Last Thursday Charlotte noticed the tickets page said there were tapings Monday June 5th and Saturday June 10th. Educated guess dictates Regis won't be there on Monday, but will be on Saturday - either way, I would be notified this week if I were on. I hoped to hear on Friday, but that looooooooooong ass day came and went without a word - leaving nothing but a 3 day weekend. Whew.
I was somewhat productive however. I finished the song to the next cartoon entitled "The Bible Told Me So", grilled out a lot, watched a lot of movies. I avoided any thought of writing an entry because it's just the same old shit and I'm just as sick of writing it as you are reading it. Truth be told, I am disgusted by the whole AGT story. We're now at the point where it's been a negative story for as long as it was EVER a positive story. The callback was 4 weeks ago this Thursday, and that cute girl that is teasing you with her ass is getting really old. Gimme it, or leave. It's like I've been living in a strip club for a month.
The revelation in all of this comes from finishing the song. I have the layout of the cartoon down pretty well and am now in the "mining for pictures" stage of the production. It's quite apparent however, that this is gonna be a big deal. Given the press "Let's Bomb Iran" got - this one (and all the misunderstanding that will go with it) is going to go to a whole new level. I am hesitant to say the least. I am on the brink of legitimate national exposure... in two completely opposite ways. Depending on how this next week plays out, it could be as this amazing talent with an incredible act, or it could be this hippy war protester that is seen as anti-american from half the country. Either way, it's gonna happen.
After seeing Baghdad ER tonight, it occured to me that if a "pass" from AGT leads me to be more pro-active against this completely contrived war...how is that bad? Do I care THAT much about my career? I've gotten so caught up in the thought of stardom I've somehow put standing up for what I believe in in a bad light! Let me yell at myself for just a minute:
"Adam, because of 'Let's Bomb Iran' you've made so much of a name for yourself that people are actually interested in what you have to say next. You have a captive audience and national exposure for your thoughts, creativity and ideas at your finger tips and all you can think of is 'what if they think poorly of me!?!?' WHO, GIVES, A FUCK. This new cartoon is putting a lot of shit in the face of the public that NO ONE is talking about. People ignore Bush's evangelical beliefs even though you can pretty much TRACE his foreign policy by reading the last few pages of the bible. That's an enormously dangerous problem and this cartoon will FORCE the debate. Stop your fuckin' whining and do what's RIGHT."
How selfish is it of me to worry about what I may look like when I say what I believe? When have I EVER, EVER EVVVVVVVER been like that? Truth, remember? Your entire way of life, your religion? What the fuck Adam. How did that happen? How did I lose myself so quickly? I should be HONORED that people will know me first as a man who is giving his all to something he believes in. Who cares so much about those troops, whose bravery brings me to tears, that I'm willing to put my ass on the line to hold our elected officials accountable for sending them to war. Iraq is one of the biggest lies ever perpetrated on this country and absolutely nothing will be gained from staying there another minute...
...except for POSITIONING when we invade Iran. WHY DOESNT ANYONE SEE THIS? (sigh). Carlin sees it. They call him this crazy-ass liberal but you know what? He's fucking with ALL OF YOU. He's just throwin' shit out there to make you THINK. To make you TALK. To make you FEEL. You know what THINKING BEFORE YOU DO THINGS IS? That's CONSERVATIVE. GODD. DAMMNNIITINTIN. Assuming Jeb doesn't get in and continue to fulfill the evangelical prophecy, this could easily be from the year 2012 after the Iraq war is over. In reality it's from 1992 and it's uncanny how well it fits. The names are all THE EXACT FUCKING SAME. God this is all creepy.
Anywho. When this maddening holding pattern comes to an end, either way, I am goign to soar. Yes, my life will turn out quite differently depending on a single phone call this week...but you know what? The end result would be the same. There's no way I would take the fame from AGT and NOT speak from my heart. I can't worry about alienating the 46% of the population that believes we are in the End Days and this is the war that will spark the 2nd coming. Believeing that is one thing... fucking TRIGGERING it with our kids by waging pre-emptive wars all over the world is such a high crime and misdemeanor... FUCK.
GRRRRR. I can't stay on topic. So here it is: Will I start down a path of building sets, finding wigs, buying new TVs - or will I dive head first into this cartoon and prepare for an all out assault on the media, fighting as hard as possible to get a national debate going?
That's why we read the entries.