Because of this
project, I'm forced to instantly look at everything as
a chapter in my life. There's added weight, pressure
and power to every single choice without a legitimate
way to avoid it...again because I choose to
chronicle it in such a fashion. It does indeed beget
drama that otherwise wouldn't be comprehended until
long after, but I have to admit that intrigues
me. It intrigues me because it's the unabashed truth
before the 20/20 hindsight. It's why I obsess over
details and take in as much as possible to get
perspective on a situation - that way I get to live
the moment to its fullest RIGHT THEN, not years
later looking back. It's something I cherish deeply
about "The Journey".
Last Thursday
Charlotte noticed the tickets page said there were
tapings Monday June 5th and Saturday June 10th.
Educated guess dictates Regis won't be there on
Monday, but will be on Saturday - either way, I would
be notified this week if I were on. I hoped to
hear on Friday, but that looooooooooong ass day came
and went without a word - leaving nothing but a 3 day
weekend. Whew.
I was somewhat
productive however. I finished the song to the next
cartoon entitled "The Bible Told Me So", grilled out a
lot, watched a lot of movies. I avoided any thought of
writing an entry because it's just the same old shit
and I'm just as sick of writing it as you are reading
it. Truth be told, I am disgusted by the whole AGT
story. We're now at the point where it's been a
negative story for as long as it was EVER a
positive story. The callback was 4 weeks ago this
Thursday, and that cute girl that is teasing you with
her ass is getting really old. Gimme it, or
leave. It's like I've been living in a strip club for
a month.
The revelation in
all of this comes from finishing the song. I have the
layout of the cartoon down pretty well and am now in
the "mining for pictures" stage of the
production. It's quite apparent however, that this is
gonna be a big deal. Given the press "Let's Bomb
Iran" got - this one (and all the
misunderstanding that will go with it) is going to go
to a whole new level. I am hesitant to say the least.
I am on the brink of legitimate national exposure...
in two completely opposite ways. Depending on how this
next week plays out, it could be as this amazing
talent with an incredible act, or it could be this
hippy war protester that is seen as anti-american from
half the country. Either way, it's gonna
happen.
After seeing
Baghdad ER tonight, it occured to me that if a
"pass" from AGT leads me to be more pro-active
against this completely contrived war...how is that
bad? Do I care THAT much about my career? I've
gotten so caught up in the thought of stardom I've
somehow put standing up for what I believe in in a bad
light! Let me yell at myself for just a
minute:
"Adam,
because of 'Let's Bomb Iran' you've made so much of
a name for yourself that people are actually
interested in what you have to say next. You have a
captive audience and national exposure for your
thoughts, creativity and ideas at your finger tips
and all you can think of is 'what if they think
poorly of me!?!?' WHO, GIVES, A FUCK. This new
cartoon is putting a lot of shit in the face of the
public that NO ONE is talking about.
People ignore Bush's evangelical beliefs even
though you can pretty much TRACE his foreign
policy by reading the last few pages of the bible.
That's an enormously dangerous problem and this
cartoon will FORCE the debate. Stop your fuckin'
whining and do what's RIGHT."
How selfish is it
of me to worry about what I may look like when I say
what I believe? When have I EVER, EVER
EVVVVVVVER been like that? Truth, remember? Your
entire way of life, your religion? What the fuck Adam.
How did that happen? How did I lose myself so quickly?
I should be HONORED that people will know me
first as a man who is giving his all to something he
believes in. Who cares so much about those troops,
whose bravery brings me to tears, that I'm willing to
put my ass on the line to hold our elected
officials accountable for sending them to war. Iraq is
one of the biggest lies ever perpetrated on this
country and absolutely nothing will be gained
from staying there another minute...
...except
for POSITIONING when we invade Iran.
WHY DOESNT ANYONE SEE THIS?
(sigh). Carlin sees it. They call him this
crazy-ass liberal but you know what? He's
fucking with ALL OF YOU. He's
just throwin' shit out there to make you
THINK. To make you TALK. To make you FEEL.
You know what
THINKING BEFORE YOU DO THINGS IS?
That's CONSERVATIVE. GODD.
DAMMNNIITINTIN. Assuming Jeb doesn't get
in and continue to fulfill the evangelical
prophecy, this could easily be from the
year 2012 after the Iraq war is over. In
reality it's from
1992
and
it's uncanny how well it fits. The names
are all
THE EXACT FUCKING SAME. God
this is all creepy.
Anywho. When this
maddening holding pattern comes to an end, either way,
I am goign to soar. Yes, my life will turn out quite
differently depending on a single phone call this
week...but you know what? The end result would be the
same. There's no way I would take the fame from AGT
and NOT speak from my heart. I can't worry
about alienating the 46% of the population that
believes we are in the End Days and this is the war
that will spark the 2nd coming. Believeing that is one
thing... fucking TRIGGERING it with our kids by waging
pre-emptive wars all over the world is such a high
crime and misdemeanor... FUCK.
BALLS.
GRRRRR. I can't
stay on topic. So here it is: Will I start down a path
of building sets, finding wigs, buying new TVs - or
will I dive head first into this cartoon and prepare
for an all out assault on the media, fighting as hard
as possible to get a national debate
going?
