A new breakdown
for the ABC show revealed it's an "extreme sports"
type of show where they're looking for amazing
physical acts. I never had much vested in it,
so that just kind of rolls off my back honestly, but
I bring it up for the people that have been
thinking that was the silver lining in all this. Alas,
it is not. America's Got Talent really was the moment
and it's gone. So let's take that in shall we? Good,
good. Breathe. Nice. In, out... right. There you go. I
also have to address that "silver
lining" attitude when it comes to this
industry. I think it actually hurts you.
How do I explain this...
Although I have
always tried to make positives out of negatives,
I never sell the negative short. It's not
that I give power to it... but I absolutely
accept it and process it. I've noticed many of you
have tried to skip the pain by saying: "Oh the
next thing will work! ABC here we come! It's no big
deal!" Of course eventually you get to that point, but
that can't be your immediate response. When you short
change an emotion, you bottle up sooooooo much. This
was the biggest thing to happen to me in my entire
life. Bar none. It was the biggest opportunity
I have EVER had to showcase my talents. It was a
once in a lifetime moment (for my first 30 years
anyway), and losing it should be devastating.
This is supposed to hurt. It's supposed
to kick your ass. And you have to feel
that.
Now that that's
out of the way... wow. Are you KIDDING me? Even
as I wrote the last few entries about all the things
that could go wrong... I always believed I'd be
on the show. I mean, let's summarize this shall
we?
-I audition
for a talent show that I am absolutely
perfect for on NBC.
-They like it
and have me stay after for an
interview.
-They film a
bit of me pushing my TVs up to the registration
desk.
-A couple weeks
later we're told I'm on "the favorites list"
(previously unposted info btw)
-A week later
I get the callback, they book me for the
rehearsals and 2 days of taping.
It's like I'm
trying to break the record of just how close
I can get, without EVER getting to showcase my
talents. Yes, the guy in a huge balloon, jumping up
and down onstage will get more exposure than me. I
won't even be in the try-outs, I won't even be in
a promo...I am erased from existence. Why? Because I
have no equal. They can't pit me against anyone in the
show. The format is literally gonna be 2 people going
up against each other in almost a playoff type
atmosphere and I simply don't match up. Once again,
the multitude of talents shown in my act is actually a
hindrance to me making it...on a TALENT show.
I'd be better off singing in a real a capella
band, and not play all the parts. There Alanis....
THAT is ironic. By the way, here's how
I found out. I wrote this to one of the
producers:
In the 7 years that have passed since
I first performed 4tvs, I have been one
Charlie Brown football kick away from
breaking out in this industry only to have
the act just not "fit". It's hilarious,
but it's not edgy enough. It's a crowd
pleaser but it's not musical enough. It's
original, but doesn't fit the category of
"stand-up". Lucy has always found a reason
to yank the ball away before I ever get a
chance to show just how far I can kick it.
I implore you to find a way that I can
participate in your show. Implore, beg,
plea... because if this thing doesn't fit
on a variety show like this, it truly will
never fit anywhere.
To think that I am so close again,
only to have the act be too unique is
absolutely devastating. I hope you'll
focus on the reasons to include the act as
opposed to the reasons it doesn't fit.
Unconventional talent never fits into the
ready-made squares that came before and
you really hold the power to showcase
something never seen before.
Please, please, please try and find a
way to make this work, and realize the act
can cater to any category you need it to -
just need to let me know.
Call me with any questions,
Adam
And seriously,
I bet Charlie Brown was the "Adam
Vinatieri" of Cartoon place kickers yet that
STUPID BITCH just kept fuckin' with him. Man that
is such a great analogy to the Journey. I reservedly
recognize my arch-enemy Chris from the boards for
drawing that conclusion. (sigh) Welcome to the
Player's Club. LOL. Anyway, the replies went as
follows:
did they pass on
you? who was your point person here other
than me?
They gave me the callback, told me to
be ready for the rehearsals today - and
the taping on friday and saturday...
...then ****** called back and said -
"well, we're not sure now..."
Anguishing huh? Don't know what to
make of it - but I assume categorizing the
act is tough...
Any information would be so greatly
appreciated, you can't imagine...
sorry, I did
check into it....they did pass
Not because
you're not good enough, but they are
putting a balance of
acts on the
show
I sincerely wish
you well.
Couple that with
the MSNBC "You're on tomorrow!" bump, and even the
tease of the ABC show... and you reading...you
know what it's really like. Seriously, even
isolated from the last 7 years, April & May
'06 have been the exact intention of this project. You
really understand what it's like to try and achieve
your dreams in this industry. The emotion captured in
the entries and videos is as genuine as you'll ever
find, and every single one of you who followed
just these 2 months, felt it in your GUT when
you read the last entry. It really is an extraordinary
story. One that I've never read in such detail before,
and I'm intensely proud of that.
4tvs however, is
done. It was done last summer and it remains so. It is
a cancer unto itself. It is a blessing and a curse. It
is fulfilling as an artist, but suicide as a success
story. I've done all I can think of with it, and
at this point would have to invest nearly $7000 in it
to truly "perform" it anymore. This talent show really
was a once in a lifetime opportunity to showcase it
and somehow even then, the act's innate uniqueness
killed the opportunity again. It has caused
more pain and disappointment than joy and at some
point, you just have to bench it. I love you to DEATH
4tvs. I've given my nervous system to you... but I
cannot expend any more energy in furthering you. To
that kid in 1999 I've spent the last few weeks reading
about, I am truly sorry. I wanted it to work out for
you sooooooooooo bad. My heart goes out to
you.
It's funny, a
couple months ago I had a choice to make.
I was at #498 and had 2 stories to tell. One was
"Let's Bomb Iran" and one was refinancing my house. I
chose the refi as #500. It looked ridiculous. The
introduction of one of the coolest videos I've ever
made (that would lead to my first national
exposure) at #499? Adam, you
goofed...
...I think
it's clear now, that I didn't. I am
in this for life, with all the
rain
that goes with it.
