blacked out until 05.08.06 - YouTube link added 02.03.09
2:38 PM, Tuesday, May 4th, 2006:
The past several days I've been working feverishly on piecing together the "negative entries" from 1999. I'll get into it a bit more in the next entry, but suffice to say I've been IN 1999 for a week. Reading my journal entries and show reports from then have been a whirlwind. I was deep into October 1999, reading about me struggling with the CD101 offer or giving it all up to go to Vegas and pursue 4tvs when at 10:14 AM, my phone rang...
...and I got the callback that I've made it at least to that first taping. Now I assume reading "The Journey" isn't as much of an out of body experience to you guys as it is for me, but believe me - when you start skimmig through 1999 and start to take in the struggle it was - you're there. I think they may be the most powerful entries of the entire site leading to LA. So I'm sure you can imagine what a time warp it was to zip ahead 7 years and take a phone call of someone saying your little 4tvs act is gonna be part of a national television show. The very definition of surrealism.
In reality of course, I don't know anything. This call confirmed that they want me to be part of the taping on the 19th and 20th. They need me to do a rehearsal on the 15th or 16th to make sure we have all the technical aspects down for the filming. But ahhh, remember what I said last month?
"…in an effort to stand apart from other shows, the "America's Got Talent" auditions will carry an element of chance."
"Everyone who turns up will be sitting in the audience, and no one knows if they'll be auditioning until their name is called," Cowell explains. "There are going to be about a thousand [hopefuls] a day, and only 70 or 80 will get to see the judges. So you've got to be dressed, you've got to be prepared, and if your name and number is called, you run up to the stage and audition."
So all I'm really assured of is sitting in the audience with the rest of the people that they narrowed down and hoping my name gets called. Pretty nerve-racking huh? I'm really actually pretty floored they're going to such an extent for this because, they held auditions in 6 cities I believe. That means they are flying in an auditorioum's worth of contestants to sit there...and the majority will never be called up? Fuck me. That seems awfully expensive, but then again they're giving away a million dollars so what's a couple hundred plane tickets?
Had a fairly long conversation with the lady who called. Asking me all the questions you'd assume, how I thought of it, what my goals were, what my struggles were, what my inspirations were. Fairly easy to answer questions you've talked about for 7 years straight in a journal. HA. Didn't stop me from pacing like a madman while talking to her. Here's what the bottom of my chin sees during the interview if you were wondering. Heh.
So what does this mean? First of all the "blackout" period I mentioned last month is offiical. Starting May 19th - I will disappear from the web for at least a month. No updates, no instant messages, no message boards, no personal emails - nada. Don't call, I won't answer. I suck at keeping secrets, and I can't even tempt myself with being public during this period. And guys, this is a $5,000,000 lawsuit secret. That's not a misprint. I'm gonna be signing a 30 page release and non-disclousre agreement and you'd better believe that I won't be giving a goddamn thing away until this puppy airs on June 21st. Luckily it's live after that, so no problem. And it's not like I can just have locked entries, the titles will let everyone know if I made it on or not. I can't have anything. Reality shows don't fuck around with this at all. In fact, there's a slight possibity this whole black out period is starting NOW. I'll know tomorrow when I talk with the lawyers at NBC. Just this callback may fall under non-disclosure. I just don't know. Crazy.
Of course if I make it on, no big deal really because I'll be so damn busy building the new 4tvs setup it won't matter...but if I don't make it. Garrrrrrrrrrgh. That will suck. Because this is my therapy if nothing else. That would be the loneliest month of my life. Whew.
One rather pressing issue is the name of the band. Adam & The Trinitrons will not be happening. Amy Lou from the boards (there I said your name you can have a Journey Player plaque - lol) and I were throwing around ideas when I came up with Adam & The Wannabes. Kind of a direct slam at the band which I love. She then countered with Adam & The Posers. I like the name focusing on the characters now that they're developed as opposed to the TVs themselves. It's such a dick move to put your band members in TVs and call them wannabes. LOL. I'm certainly open to suggestions though so by all means throw in your ideas in the feedback section of this entry. I have to have a final name one week from tomorrow. Whew.
I obviously feel really good about my chances though. I have a pretty good grasp on what they're looking for and if I were personally creating the show for me, I wouldn't change a thing. In all seriousness, if I were creating a game show that I was sure I could win? I'd make one based solely on overall talent because that's what 4tvs shows better than anything else. You can dislike the show, but the talent to put it together is absolutely undeniable. I feel I have almost an unfair advantage being able to use the 4tvs canvas. So my worry isn't so much getting on the show, it's what can I do to seperate myself from the others...once I'm competing with them. I realize thinking like that might make me fall flat on my face come the 20th, but I've analyzed this to death - and this thing is mine to take. I'll truly stop at nothing. I'll pull all nighters building sets, writing skits, changing the show - everything. I will work harder than any person on the planet and I will attack this show with all my heart. "See the road ahead and make it yours..." Thanks for showing me the road, I'll take care of the rest.
When I got off the phone I just kinda sat back like a 2x4 hit me. It's actually how I am right now to tell you the truth. Hearing about the show is giddy. The first audition was giddy. Knowing that I've been called back and I'm at the start of a competition? That's serious. This is not a time to celebrate. My goal is to win and I fully believe I will. These are my once in a lifetime playoffs and we're tipping off Game 1. Yes, I feel like I'm playing an 8th seed but ask San Antonio how that's workin' out for 'em. So Adam, stop smiling, and stop feeling like you've accomplished ANYTHING. You haven't. And if you feel like that, you're gonna get blindsided.