YouTube link added 02.03.09
11:18 AM, Saturday, April 30th, 2006:
I'm not a big fan of re-using videos, as part of the challenge of this site is always coming up with new ones, but this is undeniably the right video to end this month. Take a gander at what I wrote 4 months ago on the first entry of the year:
"Man seriously, fuck that. No happy, stupid, positive spins on the new year AGAIN. Not SEVEN times. I've done it every fuckin year. Honest TO GOD - and I'm not just in a bad mood, I don't think it's gonna be a great year. In fact, I'd venture to say that in one year I'll give ANYTHING to be sitting here writing this with a chance to redo 2006. LMAO. I'm mean, come on - how fucking naive would I have to be to ignore what's happened in the past 4 years... It's ludicrous the quagmire I'm in and for all intents and purposes it's a downward spiral. You lose it all, you lose your wife - you lose your mind... I'm in it. I have to admit even get OUT of it. I'm in it - I'm losin' it and I haven't the FUCKIEST idea what will get me out..."
WOW. Just, wow. Back then, "How Much More?" meant "How much more can I possibly sacrifice before I lose my mind?" Now of course "How Much More?" is this giddy little statement of wonder at what's coming next. Here's the thing though, I wasn't wrong about what I said in January. I honestly, just got lucky. This is gonna be a hard thing to explain, because it goes in the face of every sappy A&E biography, but I gotta do it.
I did nothing different this month than any other month, in fact I did less. I didn't work on the videos harder, I didn't promote 4tvs better (hell, at all) - shit just happened. I always work my ass off on everything I do, just so happens that with "Let's Bomb Iran" I had good timing. 4tvs is the same show it's been for 5 years, just so happens that now it clicked with something. It really is luck. Hard work and talent is a pre-requisite to even play the game, but truth be told there's an inordinate amount of LUCK in the entertainment world. It's something I've tried to preach from the mountaintops the entire time I've been here.
Many of you have read "GenuineChris" on the boards. A strange fellow who spends more time trying to prove I have no integrity than adding to any meaningful conversation. He used to harp on me constantly about how luck doesn't play a part in this - that you could approach the industry like the mortgage industry and have the same success. I finally blocked him from my IM because it was just too fucking draining to keep fighting with him. Especially now that I've been in the mortgage industry and understand why he believes what he does. Fact of the matter is, all you can do as an artist is keep creating / performing and stay in the entertainment mecca. Period. And sometimes you can barely do that. Some months, you just have to play videogames and make campfires in your back yard...but you stay. The rest is really up to luck and timing.
When I was always successful, basically 1994-1999 I said this ad infinitum:  "It's amazing how lucky you get when you work your ass off". But that's because I was really lucky as a kid AND I worked my ass off. It was understandable to marry the two. Truth is, my talents were extremely well suited for talk radio and I had an amazing Program Director in Bill White who took me under his wing and let me do whatever I wanted on the air. Man, I remember asking him about moving up in the company and he just looked at me and laughed: "Adam, you're gonna move so far beyond this. You will out grow us". Seems quite estute looking back, but at the time - imagine this teenager doing talk radio, comedy voices, parody songs, releasing an original music CD... it's pretty obvious that radio would soon be limiting, and he was right.
However in LA, there was no defined career. I was a big mess of random talents and without a path, you spiral. 6 years of spiraling, stopping once or twice in 2001, then back to the spinning. All I did was keep the journey going, and stay in the city...that's it. For some perverse reason, I enjoyed chrnoicling the demise. It was interesting to me. Adam, get to your point:
The point is, yeah - I deserve a break. I sacrificed a bunch, and worked my butt off... but I could just as easily been here another 6 years without anything. Kerry wins in '04? Simon Cowell doesn't make an "American Idol" for variety acts? The "Spiraling Journey" continues. I say this, not to undermine all I've done, but to make you guys realize that there are artists / performers who are just as talented, work just as hard - that DONT GET THAT BREAK. There is an extraoridnarily high amount of luck that doesn't exist in ANY other industry...'cept maybe professional gambling. That's the truth. It isn't fair. This isn't the American Dream, it's the American Lottery.
This month, I picked the right numbers.