unlocked & youtube
link added on 12.18.07 (company out of
business)
11:24 PM, Tuesday,
April 6th, 2006:
How am
I ever going to do this job now? Talk
about something that just isn't me. Never was really,
but I had little else to focus on...now? Shit,
I think even the "whiff" of hope will destroy
this job. Of course if this wasn't the sleaziest place
on earth maybe I could handle it...
...how
did this happen? Did the fed raising the
rates 15 straight times really turn
everyone into chop shops or did
I just land on a bad one? And are all
good salesman actually just wretched human
beings? Ice to the Eskimos? What about the
eskimos family who he goes home to after
you swindled him? Am I the only one
who thinks about this
shit?
This'll be locked obviously...so I'll just
lay it out about one US Century
Mortgage:
The leads are
gathered by a telemarketing crew and it's actually the
coolest part about the job. You get a packet on your
desk of someone who has already been contacted and is
presumably interested in refinancing. Like any leads
there's good and bad - but that's a great start.
Except for one thing. Every single lead refinanced in
the past 3-4 months. Every one. They're subprime
borrowers who are always in over their head and they
get preyed upon by broker after broker and end up
using every cent of equity they have in their house.
The best call you could make to these people is to
tell them to stop answering the fucking phone and get
their shit together. And truth be told, I've made that
call - several times. Some of the people are actually
A-paper that just financed into a 30 year fixed and
I'm supposed to give 'em a neg-am? LOL. And people are
doin' it! A BUNCH. I just can't and won't do
that.
The kicker in all
this is that they try and brainwash the sales staff
weekly about how to "Sell" which is literally how to
"lie". For example. If a guy pays $400 a month for his
car, $300 a month for his wife's car, has a minimum
payment on 2 credit cards of $150 and $75 (but pays
$400 on both to knock 'em down), and a 1st mortgage at
$2400 - we're told to add that up to $3500 and get him
to agree he pays $3500 just on loans. Then you give
him a neg-am loan that rolls all the debt into one
with a minimum payment of $1800. Then you tell him you
save $1700 a month and you dont have any other
payments! It's a no-brainer! Yeah it's a no-brainer
alright. Especially considering you've just amortized
2 credit cards that may have only been $2000 total for
30 years. No brain needed for this deal. Then you
throw in that you "get to skip your first payment! So
you save $3500 immediately and $1700 each month
thereafter!" Bullshit of course the first payment is
just in the fucking loan amount. "Then you tell 'em
what they can do with that extra money! Be sure to
find out their hobbies so you can turn those savings
into tangible things like a new car, or a trip to
Hawaii!!!" And I actually believe a lot of the
salespeople are so stupid they believe this -
and speak with utmost sincerity when completely
ripping these people off. It's like being in a
cult.
All of this while
charging a minimum...a minimum of 4
points. Sometimes the full limit of 5 points. 2 in the
front 3 in the back. It's unREAL. And since we only
make 25%, if you don't charge at least 4 points you're
gonna be hard pressed to make much. But that's if you
can even stomach thinking of yourself while you're
putting these people so upside down (considering they
refinanced THREE MONTHS AGO) that they will
be butt-fucked when the market turns (it's gonna get
ugly really soon 'round here). It's horrendous.
I've done 2 loans
in the 2 months I've been here and I'm sure I won't do
another one. I was a 8-10 guy at the first place (when
I was actually helping people). The ones I've done
here have been people that if they don't act quick
they will lose everything. If they take my loan and
CHILL ON THE CREDIT CARDS for a
bit, they should be fine - but a quick scan of
their credit report and you know that ain't happenin'.
So although I'm technically helping them - in reality
I'm just one more chunk away from their equity before
the foreclosure. These stupid ass banks with their
neg-am loans - this will bite them so hard. No way
we're not in a full recession in 3 or 4 years. The
government is oblivious to how bad this
is.
Then throw in
America's Got Talent - like I'm really giving two
shits about this job. I'm there because it's fun to
dress-up and just maybe a good lead will pass my way.
That and the free food on Fridays. Also, when you're
disconnected from it, watching "the cult" is kinda
funny. Bill and David are like cartoon characters.
I've actually laughed out loud at some of the meetings
when they say the slimiest things. What's funnier is I
made this excel program that allows L.O.'s to come up
with loan value in seconds as opposed to this ancient
"tape" method they were using - so they fuckin'
LOVE me. So it's actually fun to just hang out in
Santa Monica, go to lunch with the other assholes and
play the role of loan officer. All the while workin'
on "Let's Bomb Iran", writing songs and talking with
the receptionists. Not the way you think - heh. They
literally couldn't fit in my car. Not even meant to be
funny - just true. I guess Taja would count as a
receptionist but she does it all... she's actually
very cool. She has a great heart. Since I worked
here for a very short time before I quit to go
protest in Washington, it makes me like a
senior friggin' guy there. Anyway, where was I?
Yeah she does it all, from your orientation to servin'
the food on Fridays. Always joking and generally digs
her job unlike almost every other receptionist/office
manager I've ever known. She's the only thing that
makes it feel like a family...
...but whatever.
She's one person who is basically out of place with a
slime factory. It's like that Giovanni Ribisi movie -
boiler room? Most of the people are that kind of
slimey. I'm the guy who whistles and writes songs
while I'm there. LOL.
What the hell am I
doing there. Heh. Well, AGT couldn't have come at a
better time. This is the moment I've waited for the
entire Journey. Jesus, year SEVEN. It's about
time.
