unlocked & youtube link added on 12.18.07 (company out of business)
11:24 PM, Tuesday, April 6th, 2006:
How am I ever going to do this job now? Talk about something that just isn't me. Never was really, but I had little else to focus on...now? Shit, I think even the "whiff" of hope will destroy this job. Of course if this wasn't the sleaziest place on earth maybe I could handle it...
...how did this happen? Did the fed raising the rates 15 straight times really turn everyone into chop shops or did I just land on a bad one? And are all good salesman actually just wretched human beings? Ice to the Eskimos? What about the eskimos family who he goes home to after you swindled him? Am I the only one who thinks about this shit? This'll be locked obviously...so I'll just lay it out about one US Century Mortgage:
The leads are gathered by a telemarketing crew and it's actually the coolest part about the job. You get a packet on your desk of someone who has already been contacted and is presumably interested in refinancing. Like any leads there's good and bad - but that's a great start. Except for one thing. Every single lead refinanced in the past 3-4 months. Every one. They're subprime borrowers who are always in over their head and they get preyed upon by broker after broker and end up using every cent of equity they have in their house. The best call you could make to these people is to tell them to stop answering the fucking phone and get their shit together. And truth be told, I've made that call - several times. Some of the people are actually A-paper that just financed into a 30 year fixed and I'm supposed to give 'em a neg-am? LOL. And people are doin' it! A BUNCH. I just can't and won't do that.
The kicker in all this is that they try and brainwash the sales staff weekly about how to "Sell" which is literally how to "lie". For example. If a guy pays $400 a month for his car, $300 a month for his wife's car, has a minimum payment on 2 credit cards of $150 and $75 (but pays $400 on both to knock 'em down), and a 1st mortgage at $2400 - we're told to add that up to $3500 and get him to agree he pays $3500 just on loans. Then you give him a neg-am loan that rolls all the debt into one with a minimum payment of $1800. Then you tell him you save $1700 a month and you dont have any other payments! It's a no-brainer! Yeah it's a no-brainer alright. Especially considering you've just amortized 2 credit cards that may have only been $2000 total for 30 years. No brain needed for this deal. Then you throw in that you "get to skip your first payment! So you save $3500 immediately and $1700 each month thereafter!" Bullshit of course the first payment is just in the fucking loan amount. "Then you tell 'em what they can do with that extra money! Be sure to find out their hobbies so you can turn those savings into tangible things like a new car, or a trip to Hawaii!!!" And I actually believe a lot of the salespeople are so stupid they believe this - and speak with utmost sincerity when completely ripping these people off. It's like being in a cult.
All of this while charging a minimum...a minimum of 4 points. Sometimes the full limit of 5 points. 2 in the front 3 in the back. It's unREAL. And since we only make 25%, if you don't charge at least 4 points you're gonna be hard pressed to make much. But that's if you can even stomach thinking of yourself while you're putting these people so upside down (considering they refinanced THREE MONTHS AGO) that they will be butt-fucked when the market turns (it's gonna get ugly really soon 'round here). It's horrendous.
I've done 2 loans in the 2 months I've been here and I'm sure I won't do another one. I was a 8-10 guy at the first place (when I was actually helping people). The ones I've done here have been people that if they don't act quick they will lose everything. If they take my loan and CHILL ON THE CREDIT CARDS for a bit, they should be fine - but a quick scan of their credit report and you know that ain't happenin'. So although I'm technically helping them - in reality I'm just one more chunk away from their equity before the foreclosure. These stupid ass banks with their neg-am loans - this will bite them so hard. No way we're not in a full recession in 3 or 4 years. The government is oblivious to how bad this is.
Then throw in America's Got Talent - like I'm really giving two shits about this job. I'm there because it's fun to dress-up and just maybe a good lead will pass my way. That and the free food on Fridays. Also, when you're disconnected from it, watching "the cult" is kinda funny. Bill and David are like cartoon characters. I've actually laughed out loud at some of the meetings when they say the slimiest things. What's funnier is I made this excel program that allows L.O.'s to come up with loan value in seconds as opposed to this ancient "tape" method they were using - so they fuckin' LOVE me. So it's actually fun to just hang out in Santa Monica, go to lunch with the other assholes and play the role of loan officer. All the while workin' on "Let's Bomb Iran", writing songs and talking with the receptionists. Not the way you think - heh. They literally couldn't fit in my car. Not even meant to be funny - just true. I guess Taja would count as a receptionist but she does it all... she's actually very cool. She has a great heart. Since I worked here for a very short time before I quit to go protest in Washington, it makes me like a senior friggin' guy there. Anyway, where was I? Yeah she does it all, from your orientation to servin' the food on Fridays. Always joking and generally digs her job unlike almost every other receptionist/office manager I've ever known. She's the only thing that makes it feel like a family...
...but whatever. She's one person who is basically out of place with a slime factory. It's like that Giovanni Ribisi movie - boiler room? Most of the people are that kind of slimey. I'm the guy who whistles and writes songs while I'm there. LOL.
What the hell am I doing there. Heh. Well, AGT couldn't have come at a better time. This is the moment I've waited for the entire Journey. Jesus, year SEVEN. It's about time.