Yes,
4
Journey Gods Strike on Entry
504
in the 4th
month of the year on an entry about
4tvs,
and someone I haven't talked to in
4
years. And
as if that wasn't enough, wait until you read this
entry. You'll never believe me. You ready for
this?
So I see my
ex-manager Charlotte jump online. Haven't talked to
her in 4 years, and anyone who's read 2002 in the
Journey knows why. It ended badly. As well, anyone
who's read that whole previous year knows we were both
very close. We both cared about each other and the
product and it was a mess of emotions, egos, feelings,
just shattered. But after 4 years, for some reason - I
just IM'd her. Heh, another Charlotte IM after all
this time:
Adam4tvs:
how do i only see you on here once a
year?
Charlotte:
wow, that was strange I was about to IM
you
Adam4tvs:
wow
Charlotte:
I had sent you an email and it came back
undeliverable
Adam4tvs:
really?
Adam4tvs:
adamazon@4tvs.com
Adam4tvs:
adam - is defunct
Charlotte:
yup...not adam@4tvs.com
Charlotte:
ohh
Charlotte:
hold on while I look for the meial in my
sent folder...btw, are u still doing the
4tvs show?
Adam4tvs:
haven't for awhile...
Adam4tvs:
doin more music stuff
Adam4tvs:
protest stuff
Adam4tvs:
life stuff
Adam4tvs:
not necessarily in that
order
Adam4tvs:
;-)
Charlotte:
plenty to protest these
days
Charlotte:
but don't get me started
Adam4tvs:
yeah - went nuts last year and quit my job
and marched in washington
Adam4tvs:
great songs/video
Charlotte:
wow
My phone rings.
It's Jessica. She says "guess what I found?" and
proceeds to play a recording from her tape player. On
that tape is my background scratch tape (what I use to
time everything for 4tvs) for…The Trinitrons. Not
the show The Trinitrons, but the 2 minute demo
I made for if I ever had to do a quick bit
for TV or an audition. At the time I told her:
"Oh weird, must have left that in your recorder...
huh. Guess who I'm talking too!!!" And I proceed
to tell her, holy shit I'm talking to Charlotte after
all this time. I continue with
Charlotte:
Adam4tvs:
2005 was a pretty cool year for
that
Adam4tvs:
katrina PISSED me off
Adam4tvs:
like to a whole different
level
Charlotte:
interesting...I have been working with
some old non-profit friends with starting
a non profit to take away the 4 letter
stigma that the word Liberal
has
Charlotte:
oh there are plenty of conservatives who
agree that this war is insane, but being
called is conservative is not taken as an
insult
Adam4tvs:
right...
Charlotte:
well I was sending you an email becuase
Simon Cowell of American Idol is producing
a new tv show about variety acts of all
kinds and they are having auditions in
early april and thought it might be
something that interested
you
Adam4tvs:
age limit?
Charlotte:
none
Adam4tvs:
that bastard has fucked me every year on
idol
Adam4tvs:
lol
Charlotte:
lol
Charlotte:
and they give you time to set up equipment
if needed
Adam4tvs:
...
Adam4tvs:
what are you thinking right
now
Adam4tvs:
and stop thinking about what you're
thinking
Adam4tvs:
lol
Charlotte:
I was thinking what the amn title was too
look it up
Adam4tvs:
?
Adam4tvs:
i literally dont understand what you're
trying to say...
Adam4tvs:
amn title?
Charlotte:
go audition if you are
interested
Charlotte:
damn title of the show that was listed on
breakdowns but I found the email and
forwarded it to you
Adam4tvs:
...reading...
Hello
there stranger,
I
don't know what is compelling me to send
this, but I am. Not sure if you are still
doing 4tvs or not, but I thought I would
pass this along.
-Charlotte
SIMON
COWELL'S NEXT BIG TALENT SEARCH
.
OPEN
CALL AUDITIONS
FOR
THE BIGGEST TALENT SEARCH EVER
IN
AMERICA!
Director
of Talent/Producer: Hedda Muskat
Location:
LA, NY, Chicago, Atlanta
NOTE:
PRE-BOOK YOUR AUDITION TIME BY E-MAILING
YOUR CONFIRMATION AND GET ON THE VIP LIST!
EMAIL:
******************@*********.****
TO CONFIRM YOUR AUDITION RESERVATION!
OR
CALL: ***-***-****
JUST
LET US KNOW WHAT CITY YOU ARE COMING TO!
Simon
Cowell & The Producers from AMERICAN
IDOL, team up with NBC in the search for
the hottest variety & novelty acts
from across the country in a new talent
competition series!
"AMERICA’S
GOT TALENT!"
Do you
believe you are the next big undiscovered
talent in America?
Then
audition at one of our open calls for the
chance at being Simon's next big
discovery!
Talents
of all kinds are invited to try out.
Individuals and groups welcome, singers,
dancers, animal acts, bizarre novelty
acts, magicians, comedians, belly
dancers....all ages...the sky's the
limit!!
The
series which is currently scheduled to
premier this summer will feature an array
of hopeful future stars as they compete
for the chance to win a gigantic
$$$CASH$$$ FIRST GRAND PRIZE!
Don't
miss your opportunity to perform in front
of a panel of celebrity judges on national
television and prove to America you have
what it takes to be the next BIG STAR!
Also,
let us know if you have an elaborate set
up, such as bands, illusionists,
animals...so we can give you time to set
up.
Please
come to the audition dressed in as much of
your costume as possible.
Candidates
must be either a US citizen, legal
permanent resident of the US, or possess a
current legal visa allowing you to seek
employment freely in the US.
Animals:
must have proper immunization papers
Singers:
prepare 2nd number
Call
us if you have animals or are performing
physical and/or dangerous stunts as there
is paperwork we need you to fill out
before.
Please
note that Producer reserves the right to
refuse an audition to any individual or
act, in its sole discretion.
OPEN
CALL DATES
Doors
open at 10:00 a.m.
Thurs.
April 6 & Fri. April 7 & Sat.
April 8
Sheraton
Los Angeles Downtown Hotel
711
South Hope St. (south side of Wilshire)
LOS
ANGELES, CA, 90017
Wed.
April 12 & Thurs. April 13
The W
Hotel Chicago City Center
172
West Adams St.
CHICAGO,
IL, 60603
Mon.
April 17
The
Westin Hotel-Times Square
270
West 43rd St.
NEW
YORK, NEW YORK, 10036
Wed.
April 19
Crowne
Plaza New York-La Guardia
104-04
Ditmars Blvd.
EAST
ELMHURST, NEW YORK, 11369
Sat.
April 22 & Sun. April 23
(address
TBA)
ATLANTA,
GA
Ahem. Your head
spinnin' yet?
Charlotte and
I talked a bit more online, then for about 2
hours the next day, yesterday. Whew. I'll get back to
that in a minute...first:
American Idol for
Variety Acts? Why didn't they just say: "American Idol
for Adam Kontras, who kept getting fucked by the age
limit on the original show"? LMAO. I hesitated for the
tiniest of seconds whether to do it, but knew right
away - I had to. It's Journey fodder. My hesitation is
simply because...4tvs is no more. The towers are torn
down, the "computer" that ran it is no longer… I
mean, I would literally have to start over. It would
take a tremendous amount of work, even for Mr.
Workaholic here. As well, the trailer is filled, with
the pieces of the tower at the BOTTOM of many
boxes. And, I would have to store the stuff in it, and
…blah blah blah - it's a lot of shit. And who's
to know if it will even work now? It was so ragged
near the end, it was limping at the finish line...but
here's my theory:
STOP IT.
Go back. Watch it. Then continue (damn you
skimmers!)...
Can you
BELIEVE that's what Jessica called me up and
played me in the middle of the conversation. Holy shit
lickers. I just can't be-fuggin'-lieve it. And is that
bit not just MAAAAAAAAAADE for this show? Now
I know the towers are a mess and will barely hold
the TVs for another performance, but gimme those 2
minutes to pull it off. They film the auditions. If I
get to the next round, I invest, and I invest big. I
always knew how I'd "rebuild" the 4tvs setup if given
the opportunity. It would be cool to show a
progression in the set-up as I continue. After the 1st
round, my plan would be something I talked about
previously…end each bit with a cliffhanger -
having America have to vote for me to figure out what
happens next. It's the perfect plan. Once I put all
that together in my head, there was no stopping my
head. I for all intents and purposes… lost
it.
Listen, I have 80
things in my head at all times anyway. Be it, a song
I'm writing, to the next part of Bomb Iran, to the
Amazon debacle, to loans at work, to my relationships,
to where I'm at on my xbox 360 games to The Sopranos.
It's how I move. However, only one of those things is
obsessive: Bomb Iran. That's one of those things that
has the potential to be much, much, much bigger. Now
add in this - and I can't sleep. And believe it or
not, by the end of this entry - I'll add in another
piece that is just as big as the previous two,
BRIMMING with potential that literally makes my head
spin.
So yesterday
I talk to Charlotte for the first time in 4
years, nearly to the day. 4, 4, 4, 4, 4, how fucked up
is that? This is where the other 2 Journey Gods
strike. What transpired in that hour or so that we
talked conjured up so many emotions. I was
sitting in 2001. I was talking to Charlotte about
an upcoming venue for The Trinitrons. Man, I was
there. I felt that high again guys. I felt the
week before "The Comedy Store" again. I also
felt the extreme sadness of a break-up that in many
respects was harder than Jessica. I mean, I can
still talk to Jessica. We're still a source of support
and friendship to each other. But Charlotte?
Whew...read early 2002. You'll understand.
And even in our
short conversation (Relatively speaking) twinges of
anger still popped up as I was reminded of things
that just rubbed me the wrong way. Charlotte is
extremely intelligent, but categorizes and generalizes
to an extreeeeeeeeeeme extent. I was always
this type of person, in this race or
gender - and she could never seem to let go of that.
Drives me crazy. In fact one of the last things she
wrote to me was that if I were truly a creative
person, I would've been creating more than just
"The Journey". That line still angers me. Of
alllllllllll the things to pidgeon-hole me as. It's
like she's delusionally stubborn. LOL. At the same
time, that's exactly what I like about her. She's the
"bitch" you want on your side of the fight. But
goddamn...the fight. Am I ready to fight again? I mean
2001 fight it? Time will tell.
Now to finish this
part out, I left a few voicemails and emailed the
people at American Talent (That's the name of the
show) because I need to know for damn sure they
can arrange a set-up time. I got an email back
right away:
Dear
Future Star,
Please
provide the following information to
************@******.***** and ***** will
set you up on our pre-booking list: We
will also send you an e-mail of
confirmation.
Name
Audition
City
Audition
Date
Email
Address
Phone
Number
Talent
By
pre-booking on the audition list you can
show up at anytime after the auditions
begin and bypass the open call line. We're
looking for your best 3-5 minutes. We do
have a system to play cassettes and
CDs.
Thank
you!
I have not
gotten the confirmation yet, so I'm still kinda
freaking out. The fact that I did however get this
email back means I'm probably not too late. Tomorrow
starts the massive rebuild no matter what because
I simply have no other time to do it. But
I have to get that time slot. Seriously, not one
of you reading, believes for a second that judges
judging the TALENT of a variety act could watch 5 of
the same guy interacting onstage at the same time, and
not at least pass it on to the next round. It's a
no-brainer. The problem…is getting that
opportunity to set-up. Fuck me. Hold your
breath…
…now exhale
for a second, listen to this, then hold it
again:
Michael Moore is
making a Katrina movie. He postponed his Health Care
movie for a year in order to release the Katrina movie
this year. Now I knew this last year. But for SOME
fucking reason I never put 2 & 2 together. I'm
sure all of you have made the connection by
now:
DUH. Could it be
more obvious? Did anyone ever write a Katrina Song? I
mean, Air America still uses it on Mother Jones Radio
whenever they talk about it…it is the perfect
match for a montage during a documentary about that
event. I can't even fathom Michael Moore not seeing
that video or hearing that song… and not saying:
"Yeah, we're using that." It's the most obvious
connection AND: it's sincere. That's the part that
nails it. I wrote that song on Thursday night that
week out of absolute frustration and anger…not to
be in a movie. Not to sell a record, not to do
anything but SCREAM how much I HURT at what I was
watching on the television. The song feels that
genuine too. It's the perfect marriage, and of course
- now all I have to do is get him to hear
it.
So I start
emailing from every email I can, and just no response.
Thursday I have lunch with Gary and tell him about it
and he says - "man, see if you can figure out the
management company, I'll put a call in from my office
at Universal Music… I bet I'll at least get a
callback quicker than the thousands of emails he
gets." Fuckin' WORD. Then while sitting there, I
remember that Lions Gate produces his films, and Gary
says: "Oh shit man, I know someone at Lions Gate -
he'll point us right to him."
Gulp.
Making it is 95%
about opportunity. Most people who really go at it out
in LA or NY have the talents and abilities, but few
ever get a real opportunity to show them to the right
people. For me, that's been doubly hard. I mean, if
you think you are "the shit" actor - you go on
auditions, you have that path right there. Everything
I've done, while impressive, hasn't really had an
avenue. 4tvs, and American Talent are perfect. They go
hand in hand. Where was this damn show 4 years ago.
Same with Leaderless State: it literally only
has a life with something like a movie. It's not a hit
single, and is very narrow, but as part of a
soundtrack to this documentary? It's PERFECT. I just
need the opportunity to get Mr. Moore to
CLICK
THIS LINK.
And there ya go.
It's always a phone call, an email, an IM, a MOMENT in
your life away...as long as you stay in the city, and
keep goin'. This shit doesn't happen in Columbus,
Ohio. It really goes without saying, but it's times
like this where that's exactly how I think, and I just
need to express it AGAIN in here. I have to remind
myself that on almost a daily basis. Because I feel
like I did sacrifice a shitload with very, very, very
little to show for it. People who have been in this
city for several years, really understand it though.
You always feel like you're RIGHT THERE. The break can
happen the next time you hit send/receive on your
email. You feel that so strongly you stay forever.
You're blinded to everything else. It's so hard to
explain to those who stopped believing "the dream" at
one point or another.
So I'll sit here
for the next several hours/days - waiting so
desperately for that phone call. Waiting so
desperately for that email… anything that lets me
know I'm gonna get that opportunity. I'll also wait
for you guys to realize that it's April 1st and that
for the 7th year in a row you were HAD. But most of
you won't even get that far. You skimmers you.
