(click the picture above for
the high definition
video - but also click
YouTube
for me!)
9:09 PM,
Wednesday, September 17th, 2008:
Considering
my penchant for chronic chronicling there is
no more unlikely story than the one I'm about
to tell. In the spring of 1995 I performed on
my college's late night show, Project
Latenight, and was never able to get a copy
of it. At the end of the year when
I went back to the station to get a
tape, everything was gone. I was heartbroken,
but watcha gonna do.
As a
result of my Facebook networking I ran
into a friend from college, Natilly, who
was good friends with the host, Scott Fais
and she said: "I bet I have that on
tape." But I figured what are the chances,
of all the shows she may have on tape,
that she would have the one I was
on.
Well
bless her heart she actually bought a VCR,
dug out the box of old VHS tapes,
scanned them all - and found the show I
was on. Even when she told me, I didn't
believe her. I still thought she had the
wrong tape. A week later (as you read in
#800) I get the tape in the mail and have
one of the most intense moments of
nostalgia I've ever had. There are so many
moments that literally made me dizzy (and
yes Gary, I mean
I "literally" had to sit down) I just
have to share them with you.
Right off
the bat, hello 1995. I remember when this was
a better production than I could produce. Now
my laptop actually one-upped CBS Network TV
with my Young & The Restless bit.
That simple truth is absolutely astounding to
me in only a dozen years. Then again, public
access still looks almost exactly like this -
so I'm pretty proud of my fellow college
peeps that put this together. But again,
still blows my mind how "old" 1995 can look.
I would've guessed the mid-80s had I not
been in this. Though Scott's shirt and tie
combo is definitely 90s. LOL.
(sigh) The
haircut. Wow. My attempt to mimic Harry
Connick Jr. went horribly, horribly wrong.
Burg, you have to take a little credit for
this but in our defense we made the ultimate
mistake of trying to cut your hair the day of
a performance. Now it was absolutely my
intention to stick out, even if it came
across as strange. I always wanted to be
"branded" in a sense. Inevitably, later this
year, it became "the hat" and goatee. tonight
however, I just went with the wrong # on
the clippers. My future children will LOVE
this shit.
Then
there's the outfit. Any doubt that Cameron is
me now? This also ended up being the outfit
of "4tvs" 4 years later and eventually got
handed down to Cameron as the "nerd" outfit.
I'm nothing if not self-depricating. Oh and
I'm loving the watch. It didn't occur to me
until watching this that, wow, watches? What
happened to those? Cell phones have killed
the watch industry for my generation and
younger. One of those things no one would
ever think could be made obsolete... but
there ya go. I should have them make a
comeback. Yeah right Adam, like your haircut.
:)
Another
instant nostalgia was my father's old
equipment. Such a strange little piece of
your childhood you wouldn't think for a
second it would hit you... but there was that
keyboard, his monitor... I remember
distinctly how that microphone smelled like
my father. Growing up watching him perform
was such an inspiration to me. Using that mic
and his equipment are some of the first
moments which actually made me feel like an
adult. It's an incredibly emotional feeling
for me rewatching it. How, strange, is
that?
Hardest to
watch, by far, is how hard I'm trying to be
cool. My voice is about an octave higher and
I can see this youthful arrogance trying
to find his niche. It's the most humbling
thing to witness (maybe a close 2nd to the
haircut - lol). However, I see my future in
those moments. There's a pretty innate
ability to take risks (stopping the show,
making jokes). Although I can tell I'm
uncomfortable when doing it, I do it. I push
it. And of course what I do in the middle is
so unabashedly me, that my eyes welled up
instantly.
I had
propsed the December before and loved her
with such a passion I have to wonder if it
was ever the same after that? That's a guy
who had never been hurt. I'm not sure it's
ever that "pure" again. He had never failed.
He pushed himself to be as romantic as
humanly possible at every opportunity (though
I still left my towel on the floor though,
which I now understand NOT doing is more
romantic than a song - LOL). Anyway,
I stopped the show and sang to a shocked
Burgundie who was clearly unnerved about the
camera in her face (which I was not
aware was gonna happen).
I remember when
I saw the show that I was embarrassed she didn't
look as giggly as the girl behind her but all these
years later? I just cried. I can feel how
fast her heart is pumping, how scared shitless she is
at that moment and how strong my connection was with
her. Considering we're no longer together however, I
just want to know who the giggly girl behind her is.
Heh.
Of course
the most ironic piece of foreshadowing this
video provides is, well, the fact that I
lost. HA. And the fact that it had shit all
to do with talent, was my first lesson in
networking. The people that got their friends
there won handily and considering Burg was
still shitting herself, my "cheering
section" was considerably absent. (The
juggler clapping for himself is AWESOME, and
I remember that guy, Ben Douce, he was very
funny). Anyway, losing the talent show is
just so funny to me now. I actually
didn't care too much at the time because I
pulled off my romantic gesture. And isn't
that Adam...
Of course
I'm sure no longtime Journey reader could
watch this without thinking of "Up
& Adam" and how close I was to
a latenight show on CBS. I remember bein'
envious that Scott had that show and thinking
I would've dug that challenge. A month later
I had my own radio talk show at WTVN and the
rest is history, but it's pretty crazy to
have been a part of someone else's dream.
Scott went on to be a reporter for Florida's
Channel 13. He looks freaking
identical.
So thank
you, thank you, thank you Natilly for
providing me with this moment. You can't
imagine how precious it is to have this, to
share this - and to learn from it. It's an
insight into my growth as a performer that,
though highly uncomfortable, has not only
been a trip down memory lane, it's now an
inspiration to perform piano/voice again.
Tomorrow night I'm gonna perform at Kulak's
Woodshed after 3 years, again a week
later...
...and next month
in Chicago in a couple jazz clubs thanks to Erin's
support. <gulp> Video of tomorrow's show on
Tuesday.