(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)
9:09 PM, Wednesday, September 17th, 2008:

Considering my penchant for chronic chronicling there is no more unlikely story than the one I'm about to tell. In the spring of 1995 I performed on my college's late night show, Project Latenight, and was never able to get a copy of it. At the end of the year when I went back to the station to get a tape, everything was gone. I was heartbroken, but watcha gonna do.

As a result of my Facebook networking I ran into a friend from college, Natilly, who was good friends with the host, Scott Fais and she said: "I bet I have that on tape." But I figured what are the chances, of all the shows she may have on tape, that she would have the one I was on.
Well bless her heart she actually bought a VCR, dug out the box of old VHS tapes, scanned them all - and found the show I was on. Even when she told me, I didn't believe her. I still thought she had the wrong tape. A week later (as you read in #800) I get the tape in the mail and have one of the most intense moments of nostalgia I've ever had. There are so many moments that literally made me dizzy (and yes Gary, I mean I "literally" had to sit down) I just have to share them with you.

Right off the bat, hello 1995. I remember when this was a better production than I could produce. Now my laptop actually one-upped CBS Network TV with my Young & The Restless bit. That simple truth is absolutely astounding to me in only a dozen years. Then again, public access still looks almost exactly like this - so I'm pretty proud of my fellow college peeps that put this together. But again, still blows my mind how "old" 1995 can look. I would've guessed the mid-80s had I not been in this. Though Scott's shirt and tie combo is definitely 90s. LOL.


(sigh) The haircut. Wow. My attempt to mimic Harry Connick Jr. went horribly, horribly wrong. Burg, you have to take a little credit for this but in our defense we made the ultimate mistake of trying to cut your hair the day of a performance. Now it was absolutely my intention to stick out, even if it came across as strange. I always wanted to be "branded" in a sense. Inevitably, later this year, it became "the hat" and goatee. tonight however, I just went with the wrong # on the clippers. My future children will LOVE this shit.


Then there's the outfit. Any doubt that Cameron is me now? This also ended up being the outfit of "4tvs" 4 years later and eventually got handed down to Cameron as the "nerd" outfit. I'm nothing if not self-depricating. Oh and I'm loving the watch. It didn't occur to me until watching this that, wow, watches? What happened to those? Cell phones have killed the watch industry for my generation and younger. One of those things no one would ever think could be made obsolete... but there ya go. I should have them make a comeback. Yeah right Adam, like your haircut. :)


Another instant nostalgia was my father's old equipment. Such a strange little piece of your childhood you wouldn't think for a second it would hit you... but there was that keyboard, his monitor... I remember distinctly how that microphone smelled like my father. Growing up watching him perform was such an inspiration to me. Using that mic and his equipment are some of the first moments which actually made me feel like an adult. It's an incredibly emotional feeling for me rewatching it. How, strange, is that?


Hardest to watch, by far, is how hard I'm trying to be cool. My voice is about an octave higher and I can see this youthful arrogance trying to find his niche. It's the most humbling thing to witness (maybe a close 2nd to the haircut - lol). However, I see my future in those moments. There's a pretty innate ability to take risks (stopping the show, making jokes). Although I can tell I'm uncomfortable when doing it, I do it. I push it. And of course what I do in the middle is so unabashedly me, that my eyes welled up instantly.


I had propsed the December before and loved her with such a passion I have to wonder if it was ever the same after that? That's a guy who had never been hurt. I'm not sure it's ever that "pure" again. He had never failed. He pushed himself to be as romantic as humanly possible at every opportunity (though I still left my towel on the floor though, which I now understand NOT doing is more romantic than a song - LOL). Anyway, I stopped the show and sang to a shocked Burgundie who was clearly unnerved about the camera in her face (which I was not aware was gonna happen).

I remember when I saw the show that I was embarrassed she didn't look as giggly as the girl behind her but all these years later? I just cried. I can feel how fast her heart is pumping, how scared shitless she is at that moment and how strong my connection was with her. Considering we're no longer together however, I just want to know who the giggly girl behind her is. Heh.

Of course the most ironic piece of foreshadowing this video provides is, well, the fact that I lost. HA. And the fact that it had shit all to do with talent, was my first lesson in networking. The people that got their friends there won handily and considering Burg was still shitting herself, my "cheering section" was considerably absent. (The juggler clapping for himself is AWESOME, and I remember that guy, Ben Douce, he was very funny). Anyway, losing the talent show is just so funny to me now. I actually didn't care too much at the time because I pulled off my romantic gesture. And isn't that Adam...


Of course I'm sure no longtime Journey reader could watch this without thinking of "Up & Adam" and how close I was to a latenight show on CBS. I remember bein' envious that Scott had that show and thinking I would've dug that challenge. A month later I had my own radio talk show at WTVN and the rest is history, but it's pretty crazy to have been a part of someone else's dream. Scott went on to be a reporter for Florida's Channel 13. He looks freaking identical.


So thank you, thank you, thank you Natilly for providing me with this moment. You can't imagine how precious it is to have this, to share this - and to learn from it. It's an insight into my growth as a performer that, though highly uncomfortable, has not only been a trip down memory lane, it's now an inspiration to perform piano/voice again. Tomorrow night I'm gonna perform at Kulak's Woodshed after 3 years, again a week later...

...and next month in Chicago in a couple jazz clubs thanks to Erin's support. <gulp> Video of tomorrow's show on Tuesday.