(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)
4:34 PM, Wednesday, June 18, 2008:
<Exhale> Whew. What could have been a national humiliation is only a humiliation in my own heart as I lived the week and the ensuing dramas. As of today however I am not unlocking the "HG Revelation" entry from last February because no matter how true, how unbelieveable, how painful, how badly I want people to know what I've been through... it doesn't feel right to release it. It's just so damning for her and I don't want to add to what is already a difficult time for her. It's time to heal and get out of this freaking month. The painful anniversary on Friday and I can finally start to really put this behind me.
Now the show actually turned out incredibly. Both Donna and I came off incredibly natural, funny and attractive. Though (in the irony of all ironies to those who know the contents of the"Really" entry) Donna was way too made up on the first day of shooting and it kinda takes you aback a bit. At least it does me. Donna needs hardly any make-up, even on TV. She did her own make-up the rest of the time and looked fine.
I threw together the open and close for those who missed the show. Tells the story pretty good for only being 6 minutes or so. Crazy thing? Check out the opening "interview" video in comparison to the regular show when it comes to my weight. THIRTY pound difference. So cool they caught that.
It is all a giant relief for me as I had... man there's just no way to explain this without getting into those details. Damn. Imagine all the normal drama associated with us, now imagine how she felt having an entire TV show filmed around her for a week, then imagine her leaving me the next day for some reason. LOL. There, that kinda touches on it. My concern was that something would be evident in the show that would really sting. That and editing can do anything. The only thing strange was they audibly edited a "say" into the first time I speak so I go: "My wife say we need new window treatments." ?!!? I didn't say that. LOL. But again, the editing didn't sting me, but what did... was just how sincerely happy I was at the end. Ugh.
As bad as it was every day that week and as much as I knew what was coming from Donna in a matter of hours - when I opened my eyes and saw the room... for a moment I believed again. Funny how that is. When you love someone almost anything positive can be a reason to keep trying. And what better place to start than the bedroom. Uhm, that sounded wrong - heh. I meant just a loving place.

When I hug her at the end - it's a different type of Adam hug. When I say what she painted was "gorgeous" it's clear that it's from my heart. That really surprised me when I saw it after all this time. So there was indeed a touch of sadness as I remember just how vividly I loved her. I'm proud that I have the capcity for love with all that I've been through. It's a source of strength for me.

Of course the geek in me is totally bummed that I don't have the HD feed of HGTV and that the majority of you saw it before me 'cause I also don't have the east coast feed - AND it's not being replayed. What the hell is that? It must just not be that popular of a show because all the other shows are played constantly but this is one half-hour show a week, and next week it's a new episode. maybe in a couple months it'll be back on - but if ya missed it, this is all ya got.
I also found it very cool that there was mention of the things I got in Japan. That has to be so surreal for the longtime readers of this Journey. This series I did 3 years ago somehow becomes more real to the average reader when they turn on their TVs and see what I did with those trinkets after reading about it so many years back. That's why I was so excited about anything getting on TV because it allowed people to connect everything on a different level. Just kinda rounds out the story, rounds out The Journey.
The room did indeed turn out very nice although someday I imagine another woman will walk in, hate it, and the whole thing will start over. Oh and notice they didn't show an outside shot at the end? To this day they still have not painted the outside where the stucco was done so there's that big off color circle around the windows. Brilliant. Five months later and I have been fighting with them forever. I cannot believe the show has aired and they've still done nothing. And I don't really have a course of action 'cause ya can't take legal action against a free house re-design. Heh. Apparently getting that color is difficult without voiding a warranty? Whatever.
But i'm happy with the result and strangely I actually laughed out loud at a few of my lines that I had forgotten. I could sense where the theme was with me and I happily played "bachelor dude" even though say, the "bed in the bag" was bought by Jess and we both thought it was fine. It was freaking 2000, we had no money. LOL. Good times.
Alright - please send out good vibes for next week, I have to hear something about CBS by then.