(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)
9:54 PM, Friday, June 6th, 2008:
Boy I do love me some Randoms. Yes, this is how I spend my friday nights alone and I totally dig it.
1) Work is awesome. Like, really awesome. The 3 women I work for seem so genuinely appreciative of my skills it's almost shocking. Maybe it's because my last job was at CBS where I could literally recreate the fucking universe and still not even get an email, but this place is just a perfect match. I skip my breaks because I actually enjoy trying to figure out the new programs I'm using and how I can do things faster for them. For the video today however I did take a couple minutes and goof off with the webcam on my laptop. I brought my laptop in to give them some of my programs and found some pretty funny add-ons to the webcam I was unaware of. Good times. (That's Remo's daughter at the end by the way, basically my only other co-worker other than the owners)
2) I don't like ketchup. See, the title was more than just "catching you up" I actually intended to talk about ketchup. But as I was saying... I can't stand it on french fries. As I mentioned before I'm more of a salt person than a sugar person - and you mix the 2? Yech. I bring this up for one reason - when I say "no" to extra ketchup with my fries at a drive-thru? Holy shit... people react like I asked for a packet of pigeon shit. Am I the only one here? I like the taste of the fries themselves. I don't like fuckin it all up with ketchup. Someone please tell me I'm not alone here 'cause the reactions are pretty funny.
3) What Hillary did Tuesday night left me speechless. I even knew it was going to happen, told my dad it was going to happen... and then when it happened I couldn't believe it. I mean, she had the audacity to say that South Dakota was the final word... while the POLLS WERE STILL OPEN in Montana? Huh? I mean, I could've done an entire fake news story a la The Daily Show using her speech as the primary WINNER. It was a complete victory speech - even congratulating the poooooooor loser Obama who "ran a good race". !?!? He didn't RUN the race Hillary, he WON the race. And we knew he was going to win it for months by doing simple arithmatic. I was fine with her not completely conceding Tuesday but to ignore that he passed the delgate threshold (even though they moved the goalposts FOR her on Saturday) was just disgusting. But why should we be surprised? how many times this primary season did she ignore his victories the NIGHT he won them? He always congratulated her - it's like politics 101 - what the fuck Hil? And I defended you! I've been defending you since Ohio to everyone who would listen saying: "Let her keep running! This is REALLY CLOSE!" But I guess I was wrong, you really have been narcicistic this whole time. I know they're saying she's conceding tomorrow - but I'll believe it when I hear it. And even then, I still think she's gonna pull some shit at the convention.
4) To the crazy women on Saturday that acted like someone stole your children. Stop. You are embarrassing your entire gender and giving mysogynists way too much fodder. The Michigan/Florida thing was always bullshit and Hillary made it 100x bigger than it was to play on the feeble minded. You cheer for Harold Ickes saying how unfair it was when the MAN WROTE THE RULES. LOL. Are you that manipulatible? Is that a word? Seriously - Michigan and Florida should never have counted. To say it's unfair to count a primary where no one campaigns is to say the LEAST. Especially when one of the candidates happens to be a CLINTON vs. one named Obama. So the fact that they gave her the exact delegate split from Florida is a HUUUUUUGE concession. Huge. And Michigan? Just stop. Every tear you shed over this is setting back all the good Clinton has done for women all over the world! Don't ruin it by ignoring logic (which every friggin' man likes to point out about women) with something that is SOOOOO obvious. You're hurting a cause I believe in quite strongly. I would've backed Clinton wholeheartedly if it wasn't for the phenomenon that emerged on the scene. Anyway - I'll get into this more tomorrow assuming she actually does concede.
5) Redoing hardwood floors sucks all sorts of ass. I had no idea. I rented the sander - then realized it didn't do edges so had to rent out the edging sander... no big deal. I then stained it - which certainly wasn't easy, but it turned out alright - if not a bit too dark. Then comes the polyurethane. You gotta do this like 4 or 5 times? Sanding in between? Huh? What the hell is that about? GODDAMN. My poor dogs have been stuck outside forever. They're already stressed Donna is gone - and now they can't hang with me in the bedroom. And I have to do half at a time - because I still need to use the house. What a cluster-fuck. On my 2nd coat of polyurethane now and I may just call it a day at 3. Basically because I'm realizing now that after I rented all the big sanders, before I stained I should've gotten really fine sand paper and done the entire house one more time by hand. The wood is never gonna be smooth no matter how much polyurethane I put on it. Oh, and I don't give a shit - because I liked the carpet. LMAO. There is that whole aspect of this. I just want my old goddamn house back. Heh.
6) Yes, I know another one of my teams is in another championship AGAIN. Yes I know they've already lost Game 1 and this unfathomable streak of my teams getting to the championship and losing is in danger of continuing again. It's just unreal. Last year it was all 4 (Football buckeyes, Chicago bears, Basketball buckeyes, Cleveland Cavs -my east coast NBA team) and now this year it's been the buckeyes again and now the Lakers. I have to admit however... I still see the Lakers winning in 6. They just need the game on Sunday and they'll be fine. Take 2 of 3 back here in LA - and Game 6 in Boston. All good. Please. Please let this streak end. It's getting pretty ridiculous.
7) So we're in the future now if you weren't aware. It hit me Wednesday when I was flipping around CNN.com's live streams and went from watching the black nominee for president at a town hall meeting, to the female speaker of the house giving a press conference to 2 guys fixing the international space station. All live at the click of a mouse online. Just one of those moments that makes you shake your head at where you are all the sudden...
8) ...kinda like my entire life right now. It's so completely surreal it's like I'm in a movie. I'm suddenly working a 9-5 job and I'm single. I come home to an empty house and occupy my time until I have to go to work again. I have absolutely no interest in meeting anyone (very rare for a horn-ball like me) and I've been reading books and sipping tea. What, the, fuck. These are the things you forget when you're going through changes. The little shit. I'm not unhappy, quite the opposite really - but it's just crazy what happens when you follow your heart... and it leads you to being an old person. Heh. I mean really, sipping tea and reading Scott McClellan's book on the front porch is something my fuggin' dad would do. I'm old.
9) So old apparently that I saw stars today when I squatted. Squatted. What takes Bugs bunny an anvil to the head happened to me by moving 2 feet lower while playing with the dogs. I wasn't hit, I simply moved. Getting older is just annoying. Seeing stars is cool though. I gotta google that and see what it is (seems it's just a temporary bloodloss thingee). Kinda fun to be able to experience that without searing pain. Neat phenomenon. Or deadly serious. Heh.
10) On the McClellan book, I've only read the preface and first chapter but I did watch all the interviews he did and one thing everyone keeps forgetting here is... all he had was loyalty to Bush. He was completely unqualified to be press secretary, he was waaaaaaay over his head... all he had was that friendship - and he's willing to lose it to tell his story. Yes there's some slimeball feeling over the whole thing, but you gotta realize that for him? Keeping that loyalty would have served him FAR better in the long-run. What he's doing now will literally destroy him. And in all honesty? He didn't say anything new! And he knows it! So can you see the risk he's taking? I'll make a more informed decision once I read the book, but I gotta say - my initial instinct says he was wrapped up in the propoganda himself and once he came out of the circle he was guilt-ridden. Maybe it's not that honorable, but those saying he's just throwing people under the bus for one week in the news cycle are pretty short-sided. Try to imagine, if he's being sincere, what it must have felt like to have been the MOUTHPIECE to the lies! If you're gonna call him Judas, realize Judas hanged himself once he realized what he did... and that's exactly what it looks like Scott is doing. He's committing suicide right now to tell his story. It's pretty compelling.
11) I may be on The Gong Show. Ha. Comedy Central is doing a new gong show and the same casting director that worked with me on America's Got Talent wrote to me about this. I gotta say, I mulled this over a bunch. I spoke with Charlotte (before the break obviously) and we agreed it wasn't a good move... but as the days moved on I just couldn't think of any reason why not. I have nothing going. It's another 2 minutes of national exposure if I get selected and... honestly? Cool entry. LOL. I really do think of things like that. I think: "In 20 years will I wish that this month included an entry of seeing 4tvs performed on The Gong Show?" and the asnwer is of course. What could it hurt? Anyway, we'll see if I get selected. Hedda is as positive as she was about America's Got Talent but it's funny - I wrote back to her: "I have reservations obviously as America's Got Talent ended up being more Gong show than American Idol... and now this IS the gong show - LOL. But I hope to hear from you soon..." She found that funny. So we'll see what happens.
12) McCain's speech Tuesday night was easily the worst speech I've ever seen. I'm not trying to be funny or overdramatic. I fell asleep. I'm not saying it was boring... I'm saying that I actually, physically, fell, the fuck, asleep. I woke up in a daze and called my father wondering what the hell just happened. Him saying "that's not change we can believe in" was soooooooooo bad, that I'm tempted to do a video on it showing the direction his teleprompter must have given for comedic value. <creepy old-man smile NOW> LOL. Just, wow. Like - they keep talking about how his strength is town hall settings and that that's Obama's weakness... do they understand that Obama's weakness beats McCain's strength unmercifully? Doesn't he realize that his #1 goal should be to avoid ever appearing in the same camera shot as Obama until November? Goddamn I can't wait for the debates. I have to find a way in through a contact at CBS or something. I'll fly anywhere in the world to see that shit.
13) I almost ran over a fucking CHICKEN pulling out of my neighborhood a few days ago. Yes, a chicken. I had actually heard on the radio that farm animals were invading urban areas in LA as the uhm, mexicans, were comin' in. My neighborhood isn't dominant one way or the other. In fact, now that I think of it... in a row: Black family, Mexican family, me, Russian family, Armenian family. That's pretty cool. Across the street I think it's nearly all white. Anyway, besides the point - chickens in the road. I swear I'm gonna steal one and give it to the pups and watch them go craaaaaaaaaaaaazy. LOL. I wonder what they'd do. Hmmm - a future short film? Heh.
14) No matter what you do, no matter how good of a deal it is - even if you can get king sized sheets for $12.99 when most king sized sheets are $50+ do not buy the t-shirt sheets. LOL. They make these sheets that are made of cotton like t-shirts? Comes in a cool little bag, looks all cute - seeeeeeems like it would be nice and comfortable. You know what it's like? It's like sleeping on...T-SHIRTS. What else would you think it feels like? IT FUCKING BLOWS. You're better off burning the money for heat. What a rip-off. Ahem.
15) Playing too much Grand Theft Auto 4 can fuck with you. The weight of the cars, and the visceral feeling you get when you run someone over on the side of the road must connect somewhere deep in your subconscious because when I picked Donna up from the Temple a few weeks back... I was struck with the urge to hit someone. I'm not exagerrating. There was a guy running toward me on the right side of the road - just jogging. There were no posts anywhere, I had a clear shot and could've taken his ass OUT. My mind's initial thought was to speed up and hit him. Now it was fleeting, but the reason was - there were no poles. In grand theft auto it's usually difficult to mow down pedestrians because of trees or poles on the sidewalks. Every now and again you get someone left alone and man - you GUN it. It's your SHOT to really nail 'em. Well my first thought when I saw this old guy, all alone, was exactly the same. Now when I say fleeting, I mean fleeting. I instantly laughed at my initial instinct and of course was nowhere near actually doing it. But it hits you the same way you see tetris pieces everywhere around you if you play tetris too long. I don't think there are any long-term effects but I would be open to the possibility of it. Then again, I don't mean to add to the already ridiculous outcry over violent videogames. I still think the fantasy/reality line is pretty clear and anyone who would actually mow down a guy with his car is missing about 90 self-control roadblocks from thought to action that has nothing to do with videogames. As I admitted, I had the thought - but the amount of synapses that would have to connect for me to actually run that dude over is almost infinite. That's the problem, not the thought. Interesting topic though.
As is everything to an ex talk-show host. So I'm gonna stop now. I could go for days. Can you tell I'm lonely? Can you tell I miss intellectual stimulation?