(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)
10:15 AM, Monday, January 21st, 2008:

It's hilarious that the same people who have seen 5 of me traverse historic television sets at the same time, never make the connection that I may have photoshopped these coins and that I am not presently in an Overeaters Anonymous club. No, I am not in a club - and in fact believe I would be harmed by members of an Overeaters Anonymous Club being the 160 pound asshole acting like he has problems...

...sorry, a 159.5 pound asshole. Ha. I apologize in advance for what you are about to witness, but to me (and others who have been down the weigh-in road) this will be hilarious. If you have a way to tape your reaction to this, please do! I'll put you in the next video. Anyway, what we won't do to break the 10 pound barriers. I was actually a bit lower than 159.5 in this video and the weight of the camera is what allowed me to pull off the "teetering". Goddamn the teetering on scales that only measure in 1/2 pound increments - just maddening..but also quite funny. Some peeps on the boards were mentioning it and I thought - why not, let's show how goofy we are when we weigh ourselves.
I mean I actually raise my hands and suck in my stomach sub-consciously. Classic.
As I mentioned in the 30-day entry, I'm treating my issues with food as you would with any addiction like alcohol or smoking. Understanding that, and I mean really understanding that, has been quite the eye-opener for me. And surfin' the net and talking with other people in the same boat has been incredible as well. But I'm a bit ahead of myself. The "token" is not just about eating right or even losing weight - it is for pulling off 60 straight days of working out before my first meal and maintaing the average of 1200 calories a day:

(In the 30-day entry I had miscalculated the calories in rice and was 300 calories a day off - that's fixed now. 300 per cup, cooked, if you wondered...)
I've never dreamed I would be able to do this, with no breaks, for 60 straight days. It's nearly triple what I've ever accomplished in my life and I just don't want break the streak. Unemployment helps that obviously, but anyone in my shoes knows there are days when you just don't want to workout. And those "break" days are usually something you look forward to. Somehow, someway - I have just willed myself to this and I'm as baffled as you. So you all must be thinking:  "Wow, it must be like second-nature now!"
Wrong. It sucks. I don't want to workout, I want to eat junkfood daily and I for the life of me have no idea how that will ever change. Like I honestly think, that to maintain the "150s" I will simply have to get to 150, then forget about it until I hit 159 (which will take less than 10 days, guaranteed) and then workout for another month to get back to 150. Maybe growing tired of that will change that craving. Who knows. 'Cause as I said, I can't dabble in the foods I love. And facsimilies of junk food or "healthy" versions of junk foods don't work for me. I just eat triple the amount to make up for it. For me, bland food is what works as it doesn't trigger the ol' siren in my head to overeat. Other people I've talked to think that's insane. Heh.
See, I put "Aunt Jemima" on a weight loss forum (I know, cruel right?) since I was working out in it and I thought people would enjoy it....
Eventually we got to talking about different things and when I told them that "bland" food is what works for me they just laughed me off the site. Ha. I'm well aware this is just me... but I can't even dabble in the "Trigger" foods. I go off the wagon. It's like a smoker taking "one puff". Ain't happenin'.
What's been incredible however is just how much bad information is out there on how to "best" lose weight. All the books, videos, anecdotes on websites all seem to skip one thing - taking a hard look at who YOU are. If you don't really analyze what your own triggers are, what your issue is with food (and sorry, but if you're 20-30 pounds or more overweight - you have an issue with food), you're missing the point. Some people overeat, some people impulse eat, some people never workout, some people have a sweet tooth, some people have all of the above, some people are trying just to tone, some people just want abs, some people need 2500 calories, some people need 1500 calories, some people are diabetic...you have to look at what the issue is. Take me for example, according to most people, everything I do will lead to failure:
-You have to eat breakfast. Bullshit. I workout before I eat which sometimes pushes my first meal to "lunch" time. I'm usually not hungry in the morning. If I'm not hungry, I don't eat. That works for me.
-You have to have 5-6 meals a day. Bullshit. I eat twice a day with a snack at the end of the day. Works for me. Trying to eat a little meal usually triggers me wanting more and more and more. Just how my body works.
-White rice is bad, avoid all white food. Bullshit. There's a couple billion skinny people across the world that would find that funny coming from "Fat America". Works for us. Fills me up, and is the staple of my diet.
-Don't eat right before bed, you'll gain weight while you sleep. Bullshit. Your body doesn't care when you eat, it's what you take in compared to what you burn out during the day, period. Sometimes I eat the final portion of my meal 20 minutes before I go to sleep. Doesn't matter. The only problem with eating late is you tend to eat stupid things like Ice Cream or other munchies.
-Anything over 2.5 pounds a week is dangerous. Bullshit. Depends on how big you are. A better judge is 1 - 1.5% of your body weight a week. And the first week of any diet/workout will have a drastic change, but then eventually level out. But again, if you're 350 pounds that "leveling out" could be 5 pounds a week for several months. That's not dangerous, 350 pounds is.
-You should never cut out the foods you love. Bullshit. I should. Seriously, tell an alcoholic to have just one glass of wine every week. Sounds insane right? I can't go to McDonalds without not only overeating, but the struggle that would ensue the following few days would be torture as I try to get that "feeling" back. I, can't, eat, that, shit. Period.
-You should take one day a week and eat whatever you want, it will spike your body during the rest of the week to lose weight (seriously, I read this). Bullshit. That would destroy me. That would end the diet for me. Certain body-types can do this but wow, just wow this is wrong for me.
-Don't weigh yourself every day, just once a week. Bullshit. If you weigh yourself at the same time, it's a great way to understand how your body works. You just have to be prepared for plateaus, and never take it too seriously. What I did was boldface my weekly weigh-ins so if I gained weight early in the week, I could be more focused on trying to hit the 2.5 pounds per week goal, which for me is perfect.
-Calorie deprivation under 1500 calories will make your body store fat, and you'll gain weight. Bullshit. Look at my grid. Everyone is different. Some people live fine on under 1000 calories a day. Granted, they're under 4 foot tall and weigh 80 pounds, but you have to look at who you are. For my size and physical activity level, I can maintain my weight eating around 1800-2000 calories. 2500 calories is WAY TOO MUCH for me. I sit on my ass all day. So to lose weight I eat around 1200 calories a day and workout. It works. If you're 350 pounds, you would be calorically deprived at under 1500 calories. You could do 2500 calories a day and walk to your friggin' CAR and lose weight.
-Not eating all day is a sign of an eating disorder. Bullshit. The majority of the planet partakes in fasts and they don't have eating disorders. It could be a sign of an eating disorder. Could also be a sign that you're homeless - so what's your point? Several people fast one day a week. Good for them. I don't. Would drive me crazy. But (although I didn't do it this time), I've always said a water fast the first day of your diet/workout routine tends to reconnect your mind and body as to just what "hunger" is. Seriously - the day after a fast, you can eat just a few bites and you feel it... and realize just how much food you need to no longer be hungry. So many people have never really understood what "hunger" is. And I think it's a good idea for everyone to fast for a day at least once in their life so they can really connect with their own body.
-You have to do weights as well as cardio or you'll be burning muscle. Bullshit. I do push-ups and sit-ups and thanks to my trusty body-fat scale, and the fact that my arms and pecs are a lot bigger, I know I'm not burning muscle. For me focusing on cardio first to get the bulk of the weight off is easier. It gets too confusing for me when you add weights in. I'll do weights later. Just how my mind/body works.
-To lose weight you have to burn "X" amount when you workout. Bullshit. And this is a big one. If you look at my workout, I'm burning an average of 228 calories a day and in fact recently have gone down to 24 minutes on the bike! So how the fuck could I ever lose weight? It's the simplest rule that works for everyone: get to your target heart-rate (google it) for at least 20 minutes a day. End, of, story. Because my reps of push-ups and sit-ups have gotten so high, I was able to actually do LESS time on the bike since I do them all together (every 5 minutes I jump off the bike and do a rep). Doing this before you eat increases your metabolism all day. That's it. Over-exercising is the death-knell for me as I hate doing it as it is already.
Now, if you're anorexic or bulimic or have long side-burns or stinky feet - everything I just wrote may be wrong...for you. It's something you just have to figure out for yourself. Some people get so hungry without breakfast they pig out all day. Some people can have a small bag of potato chips and be fine. Some people can have a piece of desert - and it actually helps them (fuck all of you). Some people weigh themselves everyday and become so obsessed that they then have a whole host of other issues (like videotaping yourself on the toilet Adam-ha). Some people have to eat small meals throughout the day. Some people can literally "take the stairs" instead of the elevator and lose the weight they want, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. You are unique! Embrace it, and find your answers inward.
Bottom line is, I don't know DICK on how to help you lose weight and neither does anyone else. You have to figure out your issue/issues and go from there. But universally, all "fad" diets aside, eat less calories than you do now, and burn more calories than you do now, and your body will react accordingly. Eat less, move more. I contend that any other "tricks" or "shortcuts" to that will end up not working, but seriously that could just be my bias. And also, the more of the "eating issues" you have, the more serious you have to treat this. My uncle told me one time, "What do you mean you can't eat that? Just kick the soccer ball around." Heh. That's his experience, but he doesn't have any issues with food. Never has. If he wanted to lose weight? He would literally kick the soccer ball around 5 minutes longer than he usually does and would be fine. For people like me however, ya gotta be a tiny bit more serious about it. :-)
So there ya go. I'm moving my initial goal of 155 to 150 as it's clear that it's still necessary. My BMI is still over 23 so I'm on the high end of "normal" (18.5-24.9) and at 150 I'll be 21.8. Pretty dead on for my height (5' 9.5"). Then I'll look into a bench press to start weights. I'm also gonna give "abs" 30 days. And that's it. I don't think I can genetically "get" abs, but I'll give it one shot before I get too old. I'll do the stupid diet to get my body-fat to 5-6% (it'll be around 13% when I hit 150) and see if it works. If it doesn't, then fuck it. I think it's stupid as hell and there's just no reason for a man with a body-type like mine to ever be 5-6% body fat. It's all for vanity and none of those abs are core abs anyway - it's all surface shit to look good.
I call it stupid, but I'm still gonna try it once. HAHA.