(click the picture above for
the high definition
video - but also click
YouTube
for me!)
6:49 PM, Sunday,
January 13th, 2008:
If I
were a Christian, I'd make some funny
songs. I decided to tag this song on
YouTube with "God Christian Religion" just
to read the horrified reactions of the
bible belt. But seriously, you could
easily view this as a religious song. Some
men cry to the heavens saying "Lord, why
hath you forsaken me?" I just say:
"What the fuck?". And not really to "God",
but to The Journey, or I guess The
Journey Gods. Basically, you know I'm over
a situation when there's a funny song
uploaded. That's how I roll.
;-)
It doesn't make
the situation any less bizarre however. Just, wow.
Some of your reactions have been pretty priceless. My
favorite to date was: "Fat Adam was successful". That
made me laugh out loud for quite awhile. The majority
have been as astonished as me and everyone is certain
there's more to it. The sad thing is, there may not
be. We all want to make sense of it and honestly -
some people don't make sense. Maybe the lady I talked
to wanted someone else to get the job and twisted my
words, maybe my "friend" who has yet to call me back
said something that sealed it... If no one will talk,
we'll never know.
The part
I failed to mention in Friday's entry was just
how emotional getting the job was. I mean,
I had prepared myself since Friedman's firing to
accept that the whole past year was pretty blown. Had
the opportunity to really get to another level and
while I was busy making the most of it... nothing
else was solidified. Getting a real job was
kind of the final nail in the coffin that was
this past year. Now, I was starting over - and
starting over at a job that wouldn't even allow me
time to audition or work on anything new. I mean,
I need to make so much money that I don't believe
there's a job that could ever allow me to do both, so
I'm fine with that - but it's still a lot to swallow.
And once I got the job it was a big sigh, and a
bunch of reflection. This was it. Couldn't spin this,
I had nothing to show for how close I was, and
now start all over. I focus for at least the next 6
months to a year on making money - nothing else. For a
guy like me, that takes some mental
preperation...
...and a whole lot
of psyching up. I spent a good 3 hours focusing
on things, taking it all in, and it's just a huge
process when you were able to make a living doing "The
Egos" for a year. No longer can you pretend... you
have to admit it's over. I finally did that. Finally
got excited about things. Finally wrapped my head
around it and then SMACK - 2x4 in the face losing
everything. Then you have to deal with THAT drama...
and your head/body are just gone. Poor Donna is
already dealing with her first therapy session, first
acting class, first audition and she too was just
elated about the job... and we were just - BLASTED.
I didn't
sleep for shit Friday night constantly
replaying the timeline over and over again.
Up till 2, then up from 5-8, then sleep from
8-10... just annoying. You can't help but try
to piece the mystery together. I kept
repeating what I could've said
different... and of course there's nothing.
But with this song I can now just laugh
at it all - and be happy I have "The
Journey". It's so wonderful to be able to get
everything OUT. I don't have to keep my
emotions bottled up, I don't have to tow
some company line - I can turn it into
art. Kinda like the $400
"right on
red"
ticket I got a few years back... only
positive was that funny-ass song (especially
considering how cute the puppy was) and in
the end, that's worth $400 to me.
And I know,
I know - it would be awesome to go down
there at 9 AM tomorrow with a camera and act like I
was never fired. See whomever took my place... it
would be very fun - and I have to tell you, if
I didn't know CeBe S. (the other guy I
know there), I'd be all over it. But it's
disrespectful to him as he gave me a good reference,
and the last thing I want to do is hurt a friend
here. I've said my peace in all this and it's honestly
taken up more Journey Space than it deserves... but
yeah - if I didn't know anyone there I would be
ALL OVER THAT SHIT. Ha! This has
certainly left me somewhat devious - we'll see where
all that leads...
Adam
ps - hahaha on the
YouTube
link all
these spiritual Christian songs come up as related
videos! THAT'S AWESOME. How long until I get
legions of evangelicals come in and damn me to hell!
Hmmm, where are those religious message
boards...
