(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)
6:33 PM, Thursday, January 3rd, 2008:
There was a moment in the 1992 NBA Playoffs during the always-physical Knicks series where Michael Jordan slammed over Ewing... and just screamed. The Knicks would just beat the snot out of him (though he always won in the end) and it was one of those moments where you could feel the release. He screamed, then took another deep breath and screamed again with two fists as tight as could be. It was his body's way of saying: "YOU, CAN'T, BEAT, ME." You may cheat, kick, punch... claw - but I will defeat you.
That's exactly what this video feels like to me. It is chest thumping, it is bravado, I AM BEOWULF, all that shit. If you know my "journey" than this video will make you say "FUCK YEAH" when it's over.
Before you do anything, you have to watch the original. More than anything I'm parodying the video. I actually love the song and hate to strip any of its charm, but nothing can really change that. I'm always a sucker for these types of songs. This instantly sent me back to 1994 when Burgundie was at OU in college and we would talk on the phone. That feeling of knowing you'd be famous in a couple years and your girl would finally be done with school. I held onto those moments so strong when I was younger. Hell who am I kidding, I still hold onto that.
I've set them both up side by side (thanks to Justin for doing this first!!) so you can actually play the original and my parody at the exact same time. It takes a moment to get it right - but it's worth it in the end. Also, turn down the volume on the original once you sync it or you'll drive yourself crazy:
Please also download my high-def version...you see so much more....
So now, see what I mean? It brings out the gangsta in me. "I'm Adam Kontras BEYOTCH!" Of course it isn't long until that emotion is just straight up ANGER (see last 2 entries for the anonymity drivel). But hey, it's well proven that if you produce great stuff you'll eventually get seen right? RIGHT. LOL. Well, I'm determined to not have Let's Bomb Iran be my only viral claim to fame...here's hopin'. So where'd all this come from...

It's as simple as can be. Loved the song, thought it was interesting that there weren't many 3 syllable names with the emphasis on the 2nd syllable and thought of Jemima. Being on this diet singlehandedly wrote the lyrics and there you go. Of course a quick YouTube search will show that it's far from an original idea. For some reason however, that didn't stop me. I'm usually so turned off if I'm repeating anything anyone's done before... but it actually brought out the fighter in me.

You think that's a parody video kiddies? Sheeeeeeit, I've been writing parody songs for decades. I grew up on Weird Al - I know this genre. I will beat you all.

And believe it or not - it took a day. Wrote the lyrics, recorded the song early morning on the 2nd (thank GOD for an instrumental version floating around, I never could've played that convincingly), then got up early and shot it by myself while the sun was out, then spent 10 hours editing it and finished late last night around the same time I finished recording the song the day before. What a killer 24 hours.

I've spent all day today however dealing with technical issues converting from HD to SD. All the white letterboxing gets all wonky in SD and all sorts of wonderful interlacing and field issues. Blah, blah, blah - technical crap. But finally figured it all out in the end.

Let me also once again sing the praises of the Canon HV20. I linked the picture to the right to the actual still from the camera (it's 1920x1080, you'll be hard pressed to see it 100% on your monitor). It's the cheapest (under $1000), out-of-the-box (if you select 24p and put the refresh at 60) HD cam out there and the images are stunning. I probably could've gone even further with all tweaks to make it look more filmlike in post, but I wanted to get this thing done at some point. The color correction alone killed my processor.

I mean, I'm running four seperate 3.2 ghz processors, 8 gigs of ram and this 4 minute video still takes 75 minutes to render in HD. And seeing anything in real-time? Fahgeddaboutit. It was like editing back in 1999/2000 when you were almost blind in real-time. You had to render out sections and watch them outside of the program just to see if a friggin' fade looked right. I hear an "...in my day" brewing for my kids someday. :-)

In terms of editing, I initially did every single cut exactly like the original. In fact even now, if you were to put them on a timeline together, 95% is dead-on. However, for certain lyrics you needed to see my face, and certain shots just didn't work with the original video edits so I moved things forward or back a couple seconds. For all intents and purposes it is a shot for shot rendition. Of course since I did the camerawork as well, I couldn't really immitate everything but hey - this whole thing cost me $4. And goddamn, why is syrup $4 on sale? It was the little bottle too.

That and, gulp, I'm not the biggest fan of syrup. Heh. I mean, yeah - if I'm having pancakes I want syrup... but I just don't have much of a sweet tooth. No, on this diet it's good ol' fast food that really gets to me. A billboard of a doublecheeseburger makes my mouth water (literally) within 2 seconds. But for the purposes of the video... I LOOOOOOOVE me some SYRUP. I dream about it every night... la la la.

As far as the competition goes...obviously I was underwhelmed or I never would've made this. No one really took the time to make a good video and only a couple people could actually sing. And also, from a guy who clearly doesn't shy from the sexual, a lot of them are just too sexual. It was interesting to have written my lryics before I knew about the other ones to see the similarities everyone touched on, but come on - that biracial/white-maple verse... that's just goddamn comedy golden brown right there. :-) Very proud of that.

Adam, don't be that guy. Don't be the "I'm losing weight, so here I am naked" guy.
So there you have it. Will it be something huge? Should be. Won't be, but should be. Hey, it is what it is. It's my drug man. I'm so happy with how this turned out it literally gives me a high. I'll create until the day I die. And as I said when I completed the first Trinitrons show back in '01, if I die in some tragic accident tomorrow and this is my last piece of art I can live with that...
...err, uhm die with that.
PS - please, please, please share this. Do all you can to get peeps to click the YouTube link. Things like this really depend on you reading it.
PPS - please, please, please go bucks monday night. like seriously buckeyes - you determine my whole friggin' year. please don't blow this. :-)
Hey Aunt Jemima
Do you know you drive me crazy?
I've been workin' out for weeks,
But girl right now you'd be so tasty,
Yes you would...
I'd tap that bottle, if I could,
You'd be so good...
Yeah Aunt Jemima
I've been thinkin' bout you plenty,
I've got 10 more pounds to go,
But without you it feels like twenty,
Why's it so?
I can't indulge in you I know,
My belly grows,
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me
Hey Aunt Jemima,
Were you friends with Mrs. Butterworth?
Remember how she'd talk to kids?
Man, that was quite disturbing,
Don't you think?
That probably lead those kids to drink,
Or see a shrink,
Hey Aunt Jemima,
Would our kids be called biracial?
Or would it go well beyond that,
'Cause I'm white and well, you're maple?
Who's to say...
I'd risk the judgement any day,
We'd find a way...
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me
I dream about you every night,
The smell, the taste, your warm invite,
Why must you have so many calories?
I've tried Aunt Jemima lite,
It's watered down, it isn't right,
Original's the only Aunt for me,
Jemima I can promise you,
That once this freakin' diet's through,
You won't be black another day my dear,
You'll be clear...
Hey Aunt Jemima
This is getting out of hand,
It's been so long since I've had sugar,
I don't think I can withstand,
The things you do,
You know it's all because of you,
My weight loss stalls because of you,
Hey Aunt Jemima here's to you
This ones for you,
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.