Fuck
this journal. Fuck this FUGGGGGGGGGGING journal.
I hate this. It goddamn FORCES me to be on
this roller coaster. As a stroyteller
I have to write this entry. I've been
doing it for 290 straight entries for 4 years, and
I have no choice but to continue. God I want
to lose my mind right now. And I'm going
to:
WHAT THE FUCK
DUDE. NOT AGAIN.
DO THIS TO ME IN JANUARY.
NOT DECEMBER. Don't taint another friggin' year
RIGHT at the end like Aspen.
GODDDAMNIT.
Grrr.
Twitch. Punch. Shit.
So
here's the letter I sent back to Garis. As
I mentioned in the entry, he talked quite a bit
about cross promotion, and wanted a few topic areas
that I had expertise in. Then he'd pick from my list
the best areas, and I'd write more about each. So
here's what I gave him. For me, please, please
read this whole thing. It took my ass a long time to
write, and I think at least SOMEONE should
friggin' read it:
Mr. Garis,
Let me first say thank
you again for the time you spent with me
last Monday. It meant quite a bit that you
saw fit to go so far over our allotted
time. It speaks volumes on your commitment
to your clients, and certainly set my mind
at ease that you weren't completely ruled
by a clock. I somewhat expected that at 29
minutes, you would begin to wrap-up and
send me on my way. Needless to say, LA has
hardened me a bit.
The week since we
talked has been eventful to say the least.
Whereas cleaning up most acts requires
simple rewrites, my show requires doing
everything from scratch. I've been writing
daily since we spoke, and should have a
completed rough draft of the new 30 minute
show by the end of this week. I also want
three or four smaller vignettes ready to
go for the occasion that I would perform
on a local morning show, as you described
in Oregon. That's mandatory in my eyes to
have ready to go as soon as humanly
possible.
I was also able to
meet with my backers, and although I was a
bit concerned about your price, they
expected it and told me to move forward. I
am still in shock that these people see so
much potential in me that they're willing
to back this financially. Part of me is
still waiting for the bible and funny
kool-aid to come out at our next meeting,
but until then - all is good.
I've also been
watching television a bit more intuitively
this week and I'm seeing the wheels of
cross-promotion spinning just as you said
they did. From promoting books to shows to
every object imaginable - the power of
being an "expert" in some fashion is truly
a publicity goldmine, and I'm eager to
exploit those opportunities.
Right off the bat, the
inspirational side of things, as it
relates to putting together 4tvs, could be
a good avenue for "expertise". If I had a
nickel for how many people told me this
wasn't possible, I wouldn't need backers.
"Thinking Outside The Box" is a great
topic that I can talk volumes on. Great
for performers trying to make their way,
or even people just trying to impress a
company for a job - your approach is
everything. For example:
While waiting to see
Brian Setzer, I was watching the opening
act half-heartedly with the rest of the
audience. It hit me that I'd be in this
situation as a performer at some
point…what would I do? It lead me to
think of attacking their eyes as well as
their ears so they couldn't look away.
With 4tvs you do that. It can suck people
in on concept and visual merits alone, at
which point your real purpose
(singing/acting/writing) can be
experienced. From a panel discussion, to
even a Top 5 list of ways to force
yourself to attack your problem from
unique angles has some
potential.
Along those same
lines, nothing resonates more with this
than the concept of following your heart.
I guarantee that every single person has
had an idea along the lines of 4tvs that
fades away as fast as it comes. Not
letting those moments slip away, and
allowing your "heart" to compete with your
"brain" every now and then is pretty huge.
Logically, there's no way in hell I
would've followed this, but sometimes you
really have to run with it. A tie-in with
Valentine's Day and a panel of people with
strange inventions/ideas that could prove
inspirational to Joe Schmo seems
plausible.
Aside from
inspirational topics, the pandora's box
gets kind of blown off. I figure you're
much more in touch with what's a sought
after topic, so I'm gonna give you a
laundry list and just whittle me down to a
few and I'll go into more specifics in the
next email.
I'm a
computer/technology/gaming nut. Always
have been. I know the history of
videogames since pong, and debate the
current state of gaming ad infinitum on
message boards worldwide. I've auditioned
for many hosting spots on gaming shows (at
28 they say I'm too old - ha!) and that
love affair with technology is what has
made 4tvs even the slightest bit feasible.
As I built the computer that runs the
show, to all the editing and timing that
goes into the production of it - it's
never been done before, and from that
aspect it can garner respect from the
techy community. I see guys on TV talking
about products, games, computers and
they're only background is writing a
friggin' newsletter. Anyway, it's a
passion that will be lifelong and I can
honestly say I'm an expert without
question.
I'm just as passionate
about sports as I am about all things
technological. NFL and NBA are my two
greatest areas, but I keep up with all
sports. Strangely though, it's the
interpersonal drama that really interests
me. You're watching live movies as far as
I'm concerned. Especially with basketball
as you can see so much emotion throughout.
There are good guys and bad guys and their
personalities are oftentimes as rich as
any Hollywood script. I will be the Spike
Lee or Woody Allen with season tickets
someday. Anyway, I'm at home talking about
all sports (doing talk radio in Buckeye
town: Columbus, Ohio will do that to you)
- and with as much as comedy goes hand in
hand with sports these days, it seems
there'd be quite a need for good guests.
If you need a more specific focus or
tie-in, let me know.
The majority of my
talk radio time revolved around politics
of course. In my years of listening to
people call in, I certainly realized what
a sheep mentality we have, and it's
basically shown me that the political
labels are worthless. To even get close to
being in a position of power, you are
beholden to a big business - which in turn
ruins the process. I believe I'd be the
guy who hurts the show, as the election
year advertisers wouldn't be too happy
with my thoughts, but I do offer a pretty
unique perspective. Something to think
about as my background supports
it.
Then there's the music
industry, especially a capella. I found
out several years back that the a capella
community is a very tight knit group. They
see it as an art on-par with classical
music, and there's a myriad of events
worldwide that garner quite a bit of
attention. My a capella CD (which was of
course the catalyst for 4tvs), Hearing My
Thoughts, was dubbed the "Sgt. Pepper of A
Capella Music" by a guy in one of the
bigger a capella groups in Ohio. 4tvs,
especially the non-character driven sets,
would be fascinating to most of the a
capella community. The angle of someone
loving that type of music so much that
they formed their own band…with 4 of
themselves is a great hook. It'd be a
great avenue to have that community behind
the show, even though "The Trinitrons"
rarely get to "their music" before
fighting. As well, I have stacks of
friggin' CDs holding up various things
around my house that I'd like to replace
with actual furniture someday.
Heh.
Along those same
lines, the music industry has changed so
much now, that suddenly independent
artists are getting almost equal attention
to their "signed" counterparts. The
internet is now a "feasible" hip
alternative to pushing the "record deal",
and more than anything - it's allowing
people to create and distribute with
unprecedented freedom. It's absolutely
changing the industry and record execs are
reeling. Especially with many already
known artists, going completely through a
website for distribution. As someone who
has been online with my music for ten
years, I have a unique perspective on that
sort of distribution. I have no large
figures to throw out, but a look inside
the artists mind, creating on his terms
for an audience is refreshing. I'd be
comfortable in a panel discussion on that,
and could tie in both the CD and 4tvs
quite easily.
The last thing I'm
gonna hit you with is completely off the
subject, but my passion when speaking on
it comes through so well, it may be
something to consider In 2001 I lost 50
pounds by simply getting my heartrate up
for 20 minutes a day, and eating smaller
portions, ie less calories. Period. The
recent onslaught of "diets" from Atkins to
the Zone…I feel has hurt most people
because it's offering too many ways out.
Someone needs to get in their face and
say: EAT LESS, MOVE MORE. I've actually
considered trying to publish a book that
would have a full cover, jacket,
everything professionally done and
produced. It would be roughly 200 pages,
and the first page would say "Eat less,
move more." And that's it. Everything else
completely blank. Why would people buy it?
To share with others. Not for a rude gift
to give to their overweight friends, but
to throw common sense into the whirlwind
of fad diets sweeping the country lately.
The impact of getting a book and opening
it with an open-mind, ready to hear about
this diet, and then realizing it's 4 words
- I think is incredibly powerful. The
moment you stop looking for easy way outs
and take accountability - the better off
you'll be in the long term. Yes Atkins
works at getting it off - but maintaining
through Atkins is hell, and completely
unnecessary. I think there's a MOUNTAIN of
publicity with this gimmick, and I'm
curious as to your thoughts on it. With
the right delivery, mine of course (heh),
I think it has merit.
I could easily write
several more pages on possible areas of
expertise. On top of everything, I believe
once you see the finished 2-3 minute
vignettes, that will open up even more
possibilities. Thinking of it from the
producer's perspective, you want to be
seen as bringing something captivating and
unique to your audience so they continue
to watch/listen, and 4tvs does that on a
several levels. Especially a clean
4tvs.
So let me know what
areas stand out to you and I'll provide
you with more focused ideas. I don't want
to stray too far from what can easily
tie-in with the concept of 4tvs, but I
certainly understand the value of cross
promotion even if I'm simply collecting
email addresses for a mailing list. If you
tell me a certain angle is more sought
after - I'll find a personable/comedic way
to tie it all together.
And again, thanks for
your time. I look forward to hearing from
you soon.
Adam
Needless
to say, I was very, very happy with my response.
I didn't really stress about this all week, but the
truth of the matter was clear: He said it was on the
merit of this email - whether or not he would take me
on as a client. Again, I never worried because as you
just read, I can cover a lot of ground, something
he has to be attracted to, and I was absolutely
certain he'd be able to pick a few areas that
I could focus in on. His response:
Hi
Adam:
You
are certainly welcome. I hope my advice
was helpful to you. Thank you for the
topic ideas. You are starting to think in
the right direction. However, I don't
think our particular media contacts would
bite on any of these. For better
inspiration, I suggest going to the
newsstand. Each week, hundreds of great
teasers and topics appear on magazine
covers. Adapting a few to something within
your expertise and personal knowledge
might be a better way to go. It has to
have a very broad general public appeal to
interest the mainline media.
Happy
Holidays!
R. J.
Garis
National
Publicist
Remember
the scene in "Christmas Story" where
Ralphie FINALLY gets the Ovaltine
Secret decoder? Rushing to figure out the
secret message and it's "Be sure to drink
more Ovaltine.". Well being the
BRILLIANT video mind of my
generation, I saw the email, turned
on the FRIGGIN camera and held it as I
read the response for the first time (yeah
that took me all of 17 seconds).
I believe I have the same look
on my face
as Ralphie. And the faces both say one
thing:
"WHAT THE FUCK?"
I mean,
WHAT, THE, FUCK? Honestly, I feel the need to say
"What the fuck" about 50 times man. You can't imagine
how difficult it was for me to write FUCK on the
ENTRY page of December. I don't believe I
have EVER, EVER cursed on the title page, but man -
I'm cursing now.
Jesus
I don't even know where to begin. I started
to write him back right away, but all I could type was
"What the fuck?". Let me have one more moment of black
humor: I'd like to commission Webster for entry into
their definition of the phrase "What The Fuck".
Because I believe my letter, and that 95 word
reply is the greatest definition of
"WHAT THE FUCK" that has ever, EVER
lived.
HALLELEUJAH!
HOLY SHIT.
Ok.
Calming down now. God I hate this journal. If it
wasn't for this STUPID, ASSANINE, PUBLIC JOURNAL,
I'd be allowed to just deal with it myself, and be
fine. But no I have to friggin' keep the story
going. This is the mother of all Choose your Own
Adventure books you know?
First
off, I'm not really sure he read my response. And in
fact his last
sentence: "It
has to have a very broad general public appeal to
interest the mainline
media.",
kind of gives me that impression. I mean,
I only went from Sports, to Techonology, to
Music, to weight loss, to inspirational speaking - not
that any of those have a broad general public appeal
to the mainline media. Oh this burns me. Dear
GOD this burns me.
You
know what though...if I really stop and think
about this for a second. You know what this does?
Nothing. It should change NOTHING. Because
I wasn't going to go with him until February
anyway. I still have the direction of the clean
show (which is writing itself out beautifully -this
will be the funniest show EVER) - and the 2-3 minute
vignettes. That is my FOCUS, that is my direction.
I've known it had to be done for years now, but now
I'm stopping everything else and doing it.
What
I do then is beyond me. (sigh). And that's the
rub. Just like with T2, I'm gonna do all this work -
end up with another great show, that everyone
loves..and not have a fucking CLUE what to do
with it afterwards. Just keep inviting people and hope
someone likes it enough to have a meeting with
me.
Ugh
- here was my response:
Mr. Garis,
Assuming I can't find
anything your contacts would bite on,
would you still not represent me once the
"clean" version of the show is complete?
The launch party idea? I will have the
show complete by February and I just want
to know whether you think your agency can
help push the show. I assume you're saying
that the show itself just doesn't have the
hook to gain spotlight through the media
contacts you have, and if so I understand.
It does seem that your avenues are highly
tied to authors and motivational speakers,
and I'm just not sure how much of what I'm
doing applies. So if you could at least
let me know where I stand, I'd appreciate
it.
Thanks again for your
time,
Adam
He
wasn't going with me on just The Trinitrons as it is
now, I don't see how the "promise" of the
clean version is going to change that....but hey - at
least he's being up front.
And
you know what REALLY gets me about this whole
"Journey" thing?! Anyone else who had an ounce of
pride, would never say a word about this. They'd
continue writing Trintorns 3, they'd continue to tell
everyone the publicist is awaiting that finished show
and is going to roll with you after, and they'd act
like everything is OK. Which is probably exactly what
I should be doing. Well I am continuning the
writing, and I will probably say all those things to
anyone I'd talk to - but anyone who delves this deep
into the site gets to feel it. And what I feel is
truly unwriteable.
So
far up, so far down...and I can't change that. I
wear my heart on my sleeve (especially in these
entries) and it's what makes me the performer
I am, the creator I am, and the writer I am.
If I've failed I say - I've failed. I don't hide
it...not even a little bit. I hate fake people
more than anything in the WORLD, and won't be that
person. This sucks. I got my hopes up and they've
been dashed. This sentence I wrote in the first
Garis entry said it all:
I
guess what I also feel is him catering me to
his strengths, as opposed to my
strengths. It's something Charlotte did. Charlotte had
a goal in mind for her career, and we catered me to
it. That can work out, but can also lead to how things
ended with her. In this case, he has specific contacts
for getting media outlets great interviews. Which is
especially great for people selling books. That's his
bag. From authors to experts to newmakers of the
moment (Tonya Harding) - he provides that list of
contacts above with what they need. In order for me to
be a client, I have to fit that mold. So he talks
about cross-promotion as an avenue...only because
that's what he can deliver.
I'm
not what he deals with. He gets media outlets great
interviews - and I'm sitting here trying to
manufacture that out of just my IQ and talk show
hosting abilities? It's a big stretch, and at least
he's honest enough not to take my money...hell
their money.
That's
the other good thing in all of this. And it sounds
shitty, but this pretty much "tested" the backers
loyalty which is incredibly high. And simply having
two more people out here that want that badly to see
me succeed is unbelieveable.
No
matter what this is going to happen, but just not as
I saw it 45 minutes ago. UP, down, UP, down. But
you know what's really scary now? I want it worse than
I thought I did. I want this to happen
more than I did when I came out here.
I am willing to do ANYTHING. I will be out here
until the fucking day I die pushing this. It's
now in my blood. It's officially part of me. You take
the drive away, you lose me. I could NEVER go back to
Columbus. I could NEVER go back to a normal life.
I have to continue this friggin' JOURNEY until I
get the break. These setbacks just piss me off now.
I mean dear LORD what DO I have to
DO?!
You
know, I'm one celebrity away man. I know that sounds
nuts, but I'm telling you that if somehow Justing
Timberlake and I were childhood friends? We'd be
making goddamn movies together right now. This sort of
talent does EVERYTHING in this industry. Hell
if ANYBODY in this city can even do TWO types of
entertainment they're treated like friggin' royalty -
and
I CANT GET ANYONE IN THE INDUSTRY TO SEE THAT?!!?!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
FOOOOG!
FOOOOG. foog. Foog? Heh. What the hell does foog mean?
So losing it man. GOd it figures. Everything happening
this year JUST SUNK IN ON MONDAY.
I was finally happy - MONDAY. The publicist, the
backers - year of my life - finished the
GODDDDDAAAMMN yearend video EARLY! I knew! I
knew I shoudlnt have done that! LOL. And now, it
gets RIPPED right back to hell
FUCINHORSESHIT>
Alright,
this is a getting stupid. I'll write more when
I can form sentences.
Adam
(and
by the way, as tone is sometimes hard to infer
online...I'm smiling right now. Yes I'm somewhat
devastated, but I've come to expect it out here - so
don't worry too much about me)
