Heh,
that picture is priceless. It's actually
just me reacting to how nervous I am
as I was being transferred
to Mr. Garis, but the reaction will fit in
just about every section of this entry.
I shall do away with any semblance of
story-telling as there's so much to
document before it leaves my brain
forever.
Had a
difficult time sleeping last night for
sure. Got the phone tape recorder all
set-up in the morning, and a video-camera
to splice it all together later. Again,
$175 for a 30 minute phone call - better
get the most out of it. At 9:34 his
assistant (and wife I believe) calls,
and hooks us up.
So he says he
reviewed the DVDs, felt they were creative, unique -
and wanted to know what I had in mind.
I explained roughly what I said in the
letter. A focused period of hitting up the media with
a string of shows booked in advance hoping that the
buzz from those shows throughout the period leads to
something lucrative.
The coversation
turned into a myriad of pieces of advice. He said if
he were to take me on as a client he'd suggest a
"launch party" with some sort of hook, that will make
it newsworthy to the media outlets - and not just
being straight up promotion. He gave an example of a
"Child Abuse" foundation that hired his agency.
They took pictures they had of the effects of child
abuse (whip marks and what not) and blew them up into
huge posters and rented out the Hilton downtown and
put on an art exhibit. Had guys at the doors, checking
passes just like regular art shows. His agency hit up
all the art outlets in the city all for this shock.
This shock of them walking in thinking they're seeing
art and having this thrown in their face. What
happened was CNN covered it, and it became a
newsworthy event - garnering the foundation millions
of dollars in free advertising. A stunt, yes -
but publicity for sure.
We talked about
with the Trinitrons that you can hype them as a real
band. Get that hype going, and get the buzz going and
then when they come out they see that these guys can't
stand each other long enough to get through a song -
and the whole show is fighting and what not. So we
basically brainstormed those little ideas. Nothing at
all concrete, just giving "types" of ideas for
things.
He then said,
knowing a celebrity is worth their weight in gold. He
said you'll see fashion people throw a media event,
and there'll be celebrities sitting in the front row.
They're usually paid. Going rate for
middle-of-the-road celebrities to attend events is
$2500. Heh. He said if perchance I got say...Justin
Timberlake to come to a Trinitrons show and get
interviewed by Entertainment Tonight saying it was
awesome - it's priceless. He also mentioned he
couldn't imagine with his stature that that would
happen - but he was throwing out examples.
15 minutes in,
I was starting to get antsy. Nothing was being
said. The man can talk, and I started to think he
was just gonna fill my 30 minutes with anecdotes of
the publicity world and that would be it. So
I started asking specific questions about the
act. He said that it's such a visual concept that
anything other than television is almost a wash. You
just can't describe this on radio or newspaper. So
he's specifically targeting the morning shows on TV,
local, national - entertainment shows. That route. Of
course then came the mini-bomb. I say mini because
I've always known this - but I somehow thought
the order would be different...
...like
I knew I would never do THIS Trinitrons show
on The Tonight Show, but if there was interest, I'd
put together a specific bit FOR them. Without the
language or length of the original show. Well, that
ain't the way it works - and if I had thought
about it for more than a few minutes I guess
I would've thought of it:
I have
to have a PG show if I want to even be
considered for this big of a spotlight. Period.
It has to be
obvious to the media outlets - exactly what they're
getting or it will never get on. What was once the
edge, is now limiting...because now the target is
different. For what I was doing with Charlotte - it
was dead-on. The Comedy Clubs, the adult edgy-crowd
used to that. But now I want as much press as possible
to see my talents. We're talking a much bigger scale
here. And it's honestly a change I have no
problem making. It doesn't even feel that different to
me as I've done all sorts of comedy before from the
days of The Boyles to now. It's just a different
audience. And I'm also intelligent enough to make the
jokes "Say it" without actually "saying it".
A technique all the great ones used, and it's
basically just knowing your audience and being able to
look at topics from a bunch of angles - to get your
point across.
I have to say
before I go on, and I mentioned this to him as
well...because The Trinitrons is a character piece -
it wasn't as if I was one-guy telling jokes and
I chose the "easy" route. When you decide to do a
character like "G" you either commit to it or you
don't do it. G says Fuck. That's who he is. And as an
actor/writer of that persona - I nailed it. So I
don't at all feel The Trinitrons is taking the easy
way out by making dick jokes. It was written within an
environment that needed that. If/when the environment
changes, so can I.
The potential is
limitless with the more family oriented type of show.
He said other publicists may say "don't change a
thing" and be able to help me in other ways - but for
his media contacts (from the producers of Oprah
Winfrey, to the Today Show, to the Tonight Show, to
Larry King) it's obviously a different audience, and
on top of just what they feel - there's advertisers.
He talked about an independent political party expert
he had awhile back that wanted to slam the 2 party
system - but it was during the election. A local
morning talk show in Oregon isn't going to piss off
their advertisers that buy the most time during an
election: the 2 parties. So you have to think of
everything. Biggest advertiser right now is Disney, so
you do the math.
Now whereas some
artists would say "I'm not selling out..." I will be
the first to say "Where do I sign, oh please let
me sell out". Again, I don't feel anything
involved with 4tvs is SERIOUS enough to be
tarnished. You know? The Trinitrons could sell
Mcdonalds for all I care. I mean it's like
Justin Timberlake doing McDonalds now. How can you
sell out when you were in N 'Sync? You can't. It's pop
music. And 4tvs is a way to show off characters and
singing and laughing. So if I get a bigger
audience by changing the content - well of course
I do it.
I of course
brought up the current show, and what to do in the
meantime - and he said that's my choice. He can get
write-ups on a smaller scale and what not - but you
run the risk of pigeon-holing yourself...or just being
old news by the time you come out with what you really
want to be known for. I certainly don't want to do
that - so I guess that means (gulp) the show as it is
now will never be seen publicly again?
(sigh)
Then there's also
cross-promotion. He said you'd be amazed at the amount
of publicity you can get for a show/product - anything
by being an "expert" on something else. You'll
see people going on shows giving tips on how to lose
weight, to how to make it in the industry, to how to
get started in modelling - whatever. Stuff that
morning shows like "Today" need most of all, say
around the holidays. Well if you're well versed, you
can get all over the place while at the same
time promoting your gig. Those experts that are
telling you the top ten ways to (insert human need
here) - are almost always just promoting their book,
their show - whatever. He said for me, something with
a comic spin to it would work wonders. Something
around the holiday of Valentine's Day for example. He
said to give him as many things I could think of
that I felt I could talk about in an
"expert" fashion. This is of course where my Talk
Show training comes into play immesely - because
basically you just act like you're an expert on
everything. And I'm pretty varied in subjects
I can talk about. I assume I'll be able to
give him a list of 20 things easily. He said he'd then
pick the ones he thought were most useable, and then
have me write up a couple paragraphs on each - and go
from there - getting me on shows accordingly. He says
the agency is to the point now where nationwide they
get up to 25 requests from the media per DAY. Simply
because of his repuatation of providing great talent
for the outlets in the past.
So am I a client?
What makes him think I'm one of those people? He said
as far as the act goes, the talent is obvious. From my
timing onstage, to my presence as the characters, to
simply talking to me - he mentioned saavy often. That
I seemed creative/intelligent and show a huge
potential of becoming a "brand-name". He said I should
shoot him an email with the topics for the
cross-promotion and we'd go from there. If he thought
there was something he could work with, to get us
going immediately, he would fax over the contract and
we'd start asap. Even when all I'd have to
"plug" would be a website to garner email
addresses - or just general buzz for me. Then of
course comes the question. The barrier. What makes the
world go round - what seperates the men from the boys
- what pretty much takes the wind out of everything
I've just typed, for the past hour. How
much:
Since I'm a
newbie, he went the low route...$2000 a
month.
6 month contract,
first and last months up front, for him to represent
me to the national broadcast media. And what's funny?
He was proud of this offer as he said there's no
hidden fees, and no percentages. Dude -
PERCENT me mofo. Take all my fuggin money
I could possibly make in the next 6 months.
I don't give a shit...but $12,000? Who the hell
can afford that unless you're already famous...and
that of course begs the question...what would you need
him for then!!??!?!?! (sigh) - He did mention he
doesn't charge for calls, faxes all that crap. And to
his credit - we talked for 90 minutes. That's 3 times
longer than he had to...but $2000 a month is just
unbelieveable. Granted if I were doing a bunch of
national show spots, you do get paid for that. But
could he guarantee anything? (sigh).
There are of
course the backers, but how can I even come to
them with this figure? I'm sure they want assurances.
Hell they keep asking me when I actually get to
sit DOWN with him, and it just doesn't seem like that
would happen. The agency is located in San Marcos,
about 2 hours south of here near San Diego, and
I don't see where or why that would be necessary.
It's all done through email/phone calls these days.
From looking at the site, and the fact that every
goddamn search I do on publicists garners his
name, I feel more than assured. Jess and I have
talked about simply taking out a loan. It's funny how
being in debt just makes you shrug your shoulders at
more debt. But another $12,000? That would cost
$15-$20,000 to pay back? But you just know he can make
things happen. The outlets alone that his clients have
been on recently are staggering:
Larry King
- CNN Business
Oprah -
Entertainment Tonight
20/20 -
Good Housekeeping
New York
Times - American Idol
Maury
Povich - Style Network
The View -
E-News Daily
Cosmopolitan
- The O'Reilly Factor
Sally
Jessy Raphael - Fox News
Dateline
NBC - Los Angeles Times
Inside
Edition - Self Magazine
Newsweek -
True Hollywood Story
Tonight
Show - Z-100 New York
Us
Magazine - KABC Los Angeles
Crossfire
- Wall Street Journal
People
Magazine - WLUP Chicago
Montel
Williams - Seventeen
Today Show
- Redbook
Success
Magazine - Playboy
USA Today
- E-Entertainment TV
Neil
Cavuto - Robb Report
The Other
Half - Jenny Jones
CNBC News
- Newsweek
In Touch
Magazine - Discovery
Good
Morning America - Extra
KISS FM -
CBS Early Show
It shows just how
connected the firm is. The
website
is
filled with information about what they provide, and
who they've provided it for. But more important to me
is where he can get a no-name like me. It's great that
he represented Kim Basinger, but she could do quite a
bit on her own. More impressive to me are the no-name
authors that he's been able to cross-promote to get
their product out there.
But
therein lies a bit of a rub - what the hell is my
product now? I mean at this exact moment, going his
route - I have to start from absolute scratch. You
know? If you look at his site, it's obvious what he
can get: Broadcast and Print interviews. And he can
guarantee those if you're a client. Which is why I
assume he's going the "Cross-promotion" route
with me. But for $2000 a month, it almost seems silly
without having something to sell. I don't even have a
show. You know? It would seem wasteful to get these
opportunities to promote, and then make a big mailing
list. Not even have DVDs for sale since what
I have now is R Rated. And how fast can I put a
new show together?
As
well, no one yet understand what it takes to put a
show together. And new material is the life blood of
any routine. So what we're looking at now is coming up
with a group of characters that I can do immediately
at any time. Something where one weekend I could
write a 2-3 minute skit, and produce it the following
week. Hair, costumes, props - all of it. No waiting
for hair to grow - just ready on demand. That's some
serious, serious rehauling...and something that could
easily take every bit of 2-3 months. In the meantime
I what...go on Goodmorning America and talk about
"The Top Ten Best Anti-Valentines you can send
someone"... to then plug a website (even if reworked)
that could only focus on Pictures of characters and
small video clips of a show no one can see, or a
DVD I can't promote because it's too
adult?
Then
again, if I wait until this "new" show is
done, whew - months start to pass, and before you know
it you're back to not knowing your direction. If
I went with him now - it would be in the
spotlight constantly and I would get it done.
Whatever...like I'm gonna stumble up on $12,000
anytime soon.
Then
he says, talk to other publicists. He said treat it
like a disease and get many opinions. He was very fair
about that...but WHERE THE HELL are
they? LOL. I've looked. Everything I ever find is
incredibly specialized. From athletes to known actors
- there seems to be no in between. So I don't
even know where to start or who to talk
to.
If
I don't go with him, what if anything do
I take from this? Do I quit everything and make a
new show that's PG? I mean I was planning on
doing other shows anyway - but does "The Trinitrons"
as is, actually have NO pull as an act? It can't
get me ANYWHERE without tarnishing my
reputation? (sigh)...
You
know, it comes down to who I want to impress.
Industry, or Media. Those don't always go hand in
hand. He has the media contacts. Obviously. He can do
wonders for my career in that sense. But would that
exposure lead to anything in the industry if my show
is "Vanilla"? Granted, I have personally been
embarrassed by some things in the show because they
are a bit over the top - and have no problem toning it
down, but they don't seem out of place for the
characters. So you rewrite the characters...make up
new ones - and basically start over from scratch?
That's a tough one to swallow. That's where my heart
starts telling me this may not be the right
choice....
...then
again - you take out the $12,000 price tag and I'm all
for it. That's what makes this hard to swallow. On top
of all the changes - I give the man $2000 a
month. Holy horseshit.
I
guess what I also feel is him catering me to
his strengths, as opposed to my
strengths. It's something Charlotte did. Charlotte had
a goal in mind for her career, and we catered me to
it. That can work out, but can also lead to how things
ended with her. In this case, he has specific contacts
for getting media outlets great interviews. Which is
especially great for people selling books. That's his
bag. From authors to experts to newmakers of the
moment (Tonya Harding) - he provides that list of
contacts above with what they need. In order for me to
be a client, I have to fit that mold. So he talks
about cross-promotion as an avenue...only because
that's what he can deliver.
But
what else can I expect? If I'm looking for a guy
who's made a one man show with televisions famous, it
may be awhile. LOL. There's always gonna be compromise
- and in a sense, publicity is publicity. Fuck it,
here's what I'm gonna do:
I'll
make the list for him, just to see where I stand.
We'll bounce of the ideas and see what he feels. Hell
it may be he thinks he couldn't do it with the topics
I give him. If that's the case, then this is all
moot. I assume there will be a lot to work with,
cause if I can say anything confidently, it's
that I can talk ad infinitum, intelligently, on such
an outrageous myriad of subjects - that merged with my
with my twisted comedy mind - would work perfectly
with what he provides for the media outlets. At which
point he'd fax over a contract and then we'd have to
cross that bridge. That much is where I stand
right now.
Beyond
that, no matter what, I have to, have to, have to
- come up with short vignettes (as I've said for the
past 2 years) that showcase the characters, that are
clean, that would work on television. 2 to 3 minutes
in length. Funny, musical - everything in the smallest
amount of time. This would be something I could
set up anywhere to make a quick impression. A Star
Search - a morning show....anywhere. I also have
to come up with a way to do the current Trinitrons
characters at any moment. Yes, that means a wig for
Dewey. And I believe you can pull of cornrows
with the amount of hair I have now. Or of course
I make up new characters - but either way - 4
characters that have to be as quick as possible.
I have no other excuses since I'm doing the
taping, the editing, the writing, so I need to
not have the excuse of HAIR length. If
I take anything from this it's that
direction...
..of
course what it does do is pretty much slaughter the
current avenue. Again, much in the same way meeting
Charlotte obliterated 4tvs at the time. After just the
first meeting with Charlotte I realized
I could never go back to what
I thought the correct path was just the day
before. Once you even hear what you think the correct
direction is, you can't keep pushing something that is
against that. If I don't want to be seen as a
raunchy act, then it actually hurts me to continue to
perform, or promote myself as such. So I have to
cease doing it. Whew.
This
is a lot to undertake. Right now my head is absolutely
spinning. I know at some point I'll be able to
concentrate on the "launch party" he spoke of and
incorporating music and the band infighting in a
PG fashion. Basically remaking Trinitrons Part 1.
Somewhat the same set-up, but with slight differences.
In fact as I'm typing I'm seeing all sorts of things
that can be done.
But
that needs to be written and performed ASAP. Gotta
find a Dewey wig, and see if I can pull of
Cornrows with this amount of hair...
...at
THAT point, I believe I go back to
Garis and show him the show - and go from there. Don't
you all think that sounds somewhat more reasonable?
Man I'm really gonna have to do the rewrite of all
rewrites. I have to make Trinitrons 1 funnier than the
original, to a PG audience. But you know what? That's
the challenge. In fact - I bet y'all think I can't do
a love song from Spencer to Adam without it being
raunchy? Heh. I bet you I could do it so
that a 10 year old would laugh as much as a 30 year
old - yet both for different reasons. I know
I can do it...it'll just take some
time.
And
that's the focus, that's the direction, with or
without The Garis Agency - I want mainstream
success. I believe I have the chops for it. I
believe I have the intelligence, the personality,
and the talent for it - and there's no way I'm gonna
be held back by the F-word. I want the biggest
audience imaginable. That is my goal, my direction,
and my future for 2004 and beyond....
Yeah,
that's what I say in this entry, but just wait
until my annual drinking video at the end of the year
when the truth REALLY comes out. But man, I knew
this call would be monumental. I knew it was a turning
point, and I knew it was what defined this year.
It was by all means the direction I needed - and I'm
embracing it. The challenge alone of pulling off those
4 characters, realistically and true to form, in a
PG setting - with music and laughs - is
extraordinary and one I want to tackle. On top of
that, the smaller vignettes for TV, now that
I see there's someone who can GET me that
exposure, is a more realized dream. After talking with
him, I don't doubt that with the right type of
show - he can get me all over this country with a few
phone calls. He talked specifically of an AM talk
show on an ABC affiliate in the northwest that
he's put many of his clients on. These places are
hungry for a different type of entertainment.
I can easily be that person.
And
you know what's funny, this is only a monumental
overhaul because of the design of 4tvs. Had
I just been a stand-up, he'd just say to clean it
up a bit and we'll go forward. For me however, that's
not a few days of writing. It's a
huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge undertaking. But I've always
done 10 times the work of other artists to do my art,
so this time will be no different.
Anyway,
I must stop typing. I must get ready to go talk
to the backers, and more than anything - right at this
moment, I want to take out my first Trinitrons script
and start the rewrite. I bet I can have it done
by the end of the week. I'm feelin' the wheels turning
again...which is why I can write over 4100 words
on the subject.
Ok,
very excited now, more than I was at the start of
the entry. I'll let you know how things are going
later in the week. I've got some work to
do...
