YouTube link added 02.10.09
11:15 PM, Sunday, August 3rd 2003:
Disclaimer time. Jess and I aren't "those people". Really. Seriously. We're not the crazy pet people that have the crazy house-zoo that smells like crazy wet dog all the time. I like a pet or two as much as the next guy but 4 is freakin' outrageous in my mind. There's no need. Never gonna happen. So of course with that I introduce Shizzle Kontras.
(sigh). What can you do. Roxy needed someone to play with, and it wasn't gonna be the cats. It's been quite sad to watch Roxy get sooooooooo excited when she sees the cats and run, jump, bark and then cower 'cause they hiss and whap her in the head. It's pathetic. And amazingly I'm turning 28 in October, not 8, so guess what wears my ass out REALLY quick. Just thinking of running around with Roxy makes my knees hurt.
Quick aside - I lowered my basketball hoop to dunking height all excited to pretend I was Kobe...errr LeBron James. And although the rim was 7 1/2 feet - I dunked twice and had to sit down. Roxy sat in the grass as if to laugh at my innate ability to look stupid. When I was 19-20 I had no problem running up the outside wall of my dad's garage, pushing off and slammin' it home. Now I jump 10 inches off the ground two times, and every part of my body tells me to sit the hell down. Pathetic.
So how did this new pup come about? The fabulously (Spencer, how did you get here?) talented and wonderfully positive Michele Greene comes by, as I was helping her put a tape together, and mentions her friend just got a dog from the pound that had ELEVEN pups two days later. The woman is losing her mind and is in dire need of finding a home for 'em. I hesitated at first, but after Roxy ripped up another section of our grass out of boredom - I figured it could only help.
So we threw Roxy in the car and headed to her house to see how Roxy would react. It was hilarious. These puppies were so friggin' excited. Roxy and gang were running all over this house for what seemed like hours. Sure enough, one dog clicked with Roxy more than the others - and voila we are now a zoo. Naming our zoo however was a whole different story.
Strangely enough the dog was already named Spencer, but Jess and I decided that thinking of "Gay Adam" every time we called the dog would be a bit much. I wanted some sort've gangsta name for the dog as it's a black pup. It brings a smile to my face thinking every day I get to say "sup snoop" or whatever to a pet. J-Dog had that flavor. After a day or so - Shizzle hit me, and I was hooked. Jess however wouldn't have it man. After some time the SOUND of shizzle just worked. Rolled off your tongue - but still Jesss was not having it.
So he became Brutus. We dug that - he had Buckeye coloring. Didn't work for long though. It's funny, you say it fast enough it becomes BURtis. So then it was Ubu. As children of the 80's, having a dog named Ubu is awesome - but's a strange sound. Doesn't work. Shizzle just won. Jess calls him shiznit every now and then - but shizzle's just rolls off your tongue man. And nothing beats taking a toy away from Roxy and saying: "No...that's fo shizzle" BWAHAHAHA. Ahem.
Anyway, they're best friends in the world.
All they friggin' do is play. The grass is somewhat saved - however every damn sprinkler is breaking, and it's been absolutely impossible to water. So it's all gonna die anyway - heh. So all is good in pet land, and I swear to you we're done. Seriously.
OK, one more funny picture:
LOL. Roxy rules. Alright...
Back in crazy-land (no implication to mental state there, just another term for weird/wild) at work. So a patient here does Reyki work? Heard of it? Somethin' with chakras and stuff. She brought it up 'cause she said it was obvious from looking at me that my root chakra (which has to do with ego) was completley locked up. Doc was mentioning the same type of thing because of my posture and things she's found in my spine. I mean dear GOD am I that easy to read? LOL.
Now it's not that I don't buy into this stuff - the body is really amazing, I just really feel I know exactly what I need to get me back to ADAM again. And it's simply direction. When there's direction everything else falls into place. When there isn't the glass is always half empty. I need a manager/partner who sees my skills and understands how to sell/place 'em. I have the talent/work ethic/determination/drive to get us the rest of the way there - I just haven't the slightest idea what the path is right now. So yeah, I guess my root chakra is screwy - and I'm a phase 5 somethin' or other according to Doc - but I'm well aware of my sad state of ego this past year, and know the solution. It's just a matter of finding it.
As well - I actually LIKE that my mind/body is effected by this. I wouldn't change that for the world. If I found a way to cope with that - I'd never have the hunger to make it better. To find that path.
Here's the way to look at it: I'm in a video game. An old-school 2D side-view scroller. I've missed a jump and have fallen in the water. I don't like the water and it's cold. There's these rotating handles above me that are barely out of my reach, but I know I gotta keep grabbin' for them to get out of this freakin' water. Meanwhile there's all these characters saying:  "Dude - you're cold and wet" Very true. I am cold, I am wet, but I KNOW I CAN REACH THESE HANDLES. They're offering wet suits, warm cocoa, inner-tubes...all would certainly help me - but the handles are RIGHT THERE. Besides, I was at one point on dry land and was happy as shit. So my focus has to be getting back to that dry land, not "understanding" why I'm upset about the water, or even dealing with where I am. I gotta stay hungry, gotta keep pushing.
And seriously - read fall 2001. I truly am flabbergasted (I use amazed too much) at the person writing those entries. It's sincere and warranted ego, and it's completely refreshing. I had reason to feel like "the shit" then - and I've only improved on all that with the sequel. There is sooooooo much to be arrogant and excited about...but without direction it's just insincere right now. If I'm anything in this world it is truly sincere. And that makes the whole situation even more utterly frustrating. So I keep chipping away at all the things I can do to make myself better, and more attractive to a manager or someone connected, and keep trying to grab that handle.
Now if only I can keep Shizzle from humping Roxy. Seriously, we almost named the dog Kobe he humped so much. Ahhh - and there it happens. Your heroes fall, and you pour on the dirt. Strange how that works, ain't it?