Disclaimer time.
Jess and I aren't "those people". Really.
Seriously. We're not the crazy pet people that have
the crazy house-zoo that smells like crazy wet dog all
the time. I like a pet or two as much as the next
guy but 4 is freakin' outrageous in my mind. There's
no need. Never gonna happen. So of course with that I
introduce Shizzle Kontras.
(sigh). What can
you do. Roxy needed someone to play with, and it
wasn't gonna be the cats. It's been quite sad to watch
Roxy get sooooooooo excited when she sees the cats and
run, jump, bark and then cower 'cause they hiss and
whap her in the head. It's pathetic. And amazingly I'm
turning 28 in October, not 8, so guess what wears my
ass out REALLY quick. Just thinking of running around
with Roxy makes my knees hurt.
Quick
aside - I lowered my basketball hoop to dunking
height all excited to pretend I was
Kobe...errr LeBron James. And although the rim was
7 1/2 feet - I dunked twice and had to sit
down. Roxy sat in the grass as if to laugh at my
innate ability to look stupid. When I was
19-20 I had no problem running up the outside
wall of my dad's garage, pushing off and slammin'
it home. Now I jump 10 inches off the ground two
times, and every part of my body tells me to sit
the hell down. Pathetic.
So how did this
new pup come about? The fabulously (Spencer, how did
you get here?) talented and wonderfully positive
Michele Greene comes by, as I was helping her put a
tape together, and mentions her friend just got a dog
from the pound that had ELEVEN pups two days later.
The woman is losing her mind and is in dire need of
finding a home for 'em. I hesitated at first, but
after Roxy ripped up another section of our grass out
of boredom - I figured it could only
help.
So we threw Roxy
in the car and headed to her house to see how Roxy
would react. It was hilarious. These puppies were so
friggin' excited. Roxy and gang were running all over
this house for what seemed like hours. Sure enough,
one dog clicked with Roxy more than the others - and
voila we are now a zoo. Naming our zoo however was a
whole different story.
Strangely enough
the dog was already named Spencer, but Jess and
I decided that thinking of "Gay Adam" every time
we called the dog would be a bit much. I wanted some
sort've gangsta name for the dog as it's a black pup.
It brings a smile to my face thinking every day I get
to say "sup snoop" or whatever to a pet. J-Dog had
that flavor. After a day or so - Shizzle hit me, and I
was hooked. Jess however wouldn't have it man. After
some time the SOUND of shizzle just worked. Rolled off
your tongue - but still Jesss was not having
it.
So he became
Brutus. We dug that - he had Buckeye coloring. Didn't
work for long though. It's funny, you say it fast
enough it becomes BURtis. So then it was Ubu. As
children of the 80's, having a dog named Ubu is
awesome - but still..it's a strange sound. Doesn't
work. Shizzle just won. Jess calls him shiznit every
now and then - but shizzle's just rolls off your
tongue man. And nothing beats taking a toy away from
Roxy and saying: "No...that's fo shizzle" BWAHAHAHA.
Ahem.
Anyway, they're
best friends in the world.
All
they friggin' do is play.
The grass is somewhat saved - however
every damn sprinkler is breaking, and it's
been absolutely impossible to water. So
it's all gonna die anyway - heh. So all is
good in pet land, and I swear to you
we're done. Seriously.
OK, one more funny
picture:
LOL. Roxy rules.
Alright...
Back in crazy-land
(no implication to mental state there, just another
term for weird/wild) at work. So a patient here does
Reyki work? Heard of it? Somethin' with chakras and
stuff. She brought it up 'cause she said it was
obvious from looking at me that my root chakra (which
has to do with ego) was completley locked up. Doc was
mentioning the same type of thing because of my
posture and things she's found in my spine.
I mean dear GOD am I that easy to read?
LOL.
Now it's not that
I don't buy into this stuff - the body is really
amazing, I just really feel I know exactly what
I need to get me back to ADAM again. And it's
simply direction. When there's direction everything
else falls into place. When there isn't the glass is
always half empty. I need a
manager/partner who sees my skills and understands how
to sell/place 'em. I have the talent/work
ethic/determination/drive to get us the rest of the
way there - I just haven't the slightest idea
what the path is right now. So yeah, I guess my
root chakra is screwy - and I'm a phase 5 somethin' or
other according to Doc - but I'm well aware of my sad
state of ego this past year, and know the solution.
It's just a matter of finding it.
As well -
I actually LIKE that my mind/body is
effected by this. I wouldn't change that for the
world. If I found a way to cope with that - I'd never
have the hunger to make it better. To find that
path.
Here's the way to
look at it: I'm in a video game. An old-school 2D
side-view scroller. I've missed a jump and have fallen
in the water. I don't like the water and it's cold.
There's these rotating handles above me that are
barely out of my reach, but I know I gotta
keep grabbin' for them to get out of this freakin'
water. Meanwhile there's all these characters
saying: "Dude - you're cold and wet" Very true.
I am cold, I am wet, but
I KNOW I CAN REACH THESE HANDLES.
They're offering wet suits, warm cocoa,
inner-tubes...all would certainly help me - but the
handles are RIGHT THERE. Besides, I was at one
point on dry land and was happy as shit. So my focus
has to be getting back to that dry land, not
"understanding" why I'm upset about the water, or even
dealing with where I am. I gotta stay hungry,
gotta keep pushing.
And seriously -
read fall 2001. I truly am flabbergasted (I use
amazed too much) at the person writing those entries.
It's sincere and warranted ego, and it's completely
refreshing. I had reason to feel like "the shit"
then - and I've only improved on all that with the
sequel. There is sooooooo much to be arrogant and
excited about...but without direction it's just
insincere right now. If I'm anything in this world it
is truly sincere. And that makes the whole situation
even more utterly frustrating. So I keep chipping away
at all the things I can do to make myself better,
and more attractive to a manager or someone connected,
and keep trying to grab that handle.
Now if only
I can keep Shizzle from humping Roxy. Seriously,
we almost named the dog Kobe he humped so much. Ahhh -
and there it happens. Your heroes fall, and you pour
on the dirt. Strange how that works, ain't
it?
