YouTube and Feedback added 12.21.07
9:27 PM, Tuesday, May 6th, 2003:
Finally some humor enters into my life this week. Nothing has been funny for awhile until I thought of this song last night. Then I actually finally relaxed. It's a parody of Paul Simon's "50 Ways to Leave your Lover". There's something about his melody in the verses that's almost "rap" like that I love. It's very easy to craft a story within it and make it sound poetic. Woah, I just remembered I had a dream where I called up Paul Simon and just talked to him. Weird. Totally unrelated to this...or so I thought. Who knows. Anyway - funny song.
What's not been so funny is this site being down. 12 days man. 12 days of thinking some asshole was gonna steal the name when it became public...TOMORROW. Finally this morning it all went through. There were all these 24-72 hour waiting periods while Catnaz changed contact names and whatnot. Meanwhile - no email or web. In the 4 years I've had it's never been down. Amazing how stressful that is. Even more incredible is how much I rely on the fact that it's out there. I felt completely naked these past 2 weeks. Like "If something happens, and there's no entry - does it exist?". It's why as much as I threaten to end this whole entry thing - it'll probably never happen. It just can't. Writing is sooooo in my blood at this point. I need to write, and I need to be read. When that's cut-off I'm like the sick E.T. and Elliot. "AHHHHHHH"(E.T. voice)
So as you could've guessed the house move in date is still not entirely official. Everytime we think it's fine there's another call. Most recently this weekend the woman said there was no possible way to be out before the 17th again. Just an abrupt message to her realtor saying "can't do it". Heh. So then the ex-husband happens to call the realtor just to see how things are going and gets filllllllllllllllllllllllllled in on the whole situation. Needless to say he wasn't amused. He simply said: "She'll be out". And that was that. LOL. I can only imagine the stories in that household. A once nice, understanding, loving Jess and Adam - no longer give a fuck. Get the hell out. Although feasible we still close on May 14th - it may be pushed to the 15th because of all the tiny intricacies of the house tenting, completion letters, loan funding, and final closing. All sorts of fun. It's probably extraordinary how fast 60 days has felt to her in comparison to how long it's been for us. Oh well - next week man. Next week.
Everything else has just been...well stressful. I'm realizing just how ideal my conditions were in 2001 to lose all that weight. Cause when you have...well a REAL life, guess what's really friggin hard? I'm still floatin' around at 165. It's only 10 pounds from where I need to be for the shoot, but at this point it might as well be 100 pounds. My mind is just so tired from all the shit that's been happening that the discipline to work out is absolutely a joke. Nonexistent. All the eating right in the world can't get me to the 150's. I have to workout to achieve that. I will always plateu in the 160's otherwise. I am totally jonesin' for the shoot though. I believe once I get moved into the house it'll be easier to focus on it. Looks like it'll all be completed in the month of June.
Oh and a quick aside...met someone at work who is in the "industry" and let her check out the Trinitrons DVD. She's invited me to be part of a group of "chosen people", heh, who meet every week to help out on other people's projects and what not. Filmakers that need editors, editors that need equipment, writers that need actors - so on and so on. A group of 10-15 people she's met in her time out here who are dependable and willing to help. Making sort've a network of talent that can work towards mutual and individual goals. She really dug the different aspects shown on the DVD and asked if I'd be interested in meeting everyone. Sounds like a great idea actually. Just to meet and help like-minded people is exciting. My only concern is that I really can't help with my time in the very near future - as I have one huge video editing project for a wedding band I'm currently working on - as well as The Trinitrons sequel. But I'll probably hit up the weekly meetings and just get to know everyone. This is one of those things that could be nothing in time, or could lead to everything. And you know me, I have to wear everything on my sleeve - LOL. So I'll write about it way too early and then look foolish later. Ahh how you love me for that don't you.
Either way - just another sign to those thinking I'm falling off "The Journey" bandwagon. I know it feels like we're on the longest service road ever - you know what though? It's totally just me. I'm the over-analytical one that keeps thinking:  "What are you doing NOW for your career? You're just making excuses. Stop. Do more. Get off your ass" I put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself, and I'm not sure that can ever truly get better until I'm successful to some degree. It's like what your body does to you when you're hungry. You can't really stop it. You have to eat. So here's hopin' I pull of something sooner rather than later.
Well, as you may have guessed - there will be only one more entry before we officially move in. And how may you have guessed? The entry numbers man... it's gotta be Entry 250. Gotta be. It all happens on the big numbers people. Two Hundred and Fifty stories in this Journey. Can it be?
I'll be taking a nap now.