YouTube link added 02.11.09
8:35 PM, Wednesday, April 30th, 2003:
It's truly extraordinary. I've aged a year in 3 months. At this rate I'll collect Social Security in ten years.
This entire past weekend was an absolute ROLLER COASTER. (Thus the "Kontras Island" title - a bit of a stretch, I know). It's amazing, going back to work is almost like a form of Prozac. No real highs, no real lows, just middle-of-the road peace. I actually look forward to it. For once I'll start with the good.
The show was very well received. Of course it can't be all good, technical difficulties once again whooped my ass. G's TV didn't come on at the beginning. Heh. So I was jiggling wires behind the TVs for the first song - and everyone laughed when his TV finally came on. It's great - people have no idea when shit isn't working right in the beginning, because they're still trying to figure out what the hell they're watching. Then of course, the left channel was completely gone for the first 10 minutes. So I actually had to (this is so classic) - crank the volume whenever G or Dewey spoke just to get the BLEED from the right channel and then put it back down when Cameron, Spencer or I spoke. My head was spinning. It might rank up there as one of the most difficult mental tasks I've had to pull off. Thank GOD for videogames, cause without 'em I never would've been able to do this. But seriously to know the show well enough to be able to hit the master volume up and down at the right times, yet stay in character and hit my lines. Holy shit. It was ugly. I finally wiggled the right cable and was able to get both channels up and running by G's song. Criiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiminey.
Audience reaction was very, very good. It truly is a marvel how some audiences laugh at things I would never think of. Especially after all this time. Quite a few moments of "Oh yeah, I guess that is kinda funny". Man I love a live audience. It really is the greatest feeling. Not because they're applauding per se - but you're just "on". Technical difficulties aside, you just lose yourself. When I'm in between those 2 towers, I feel incredibly comfortable Is that the word? It's just right. No matter what I do the rest of my it films, tv - anything. I will never stop performing 4tvs shows. It will always be my thing.
Which is why LOSING was more than a little disconcerting. Apparently I was sent all my "notices" to - which when I was being hosted by Quicknet always got forwarded to . When I transferred to Catnaz, that wasn't changed. Now I got an email from catnaz saying they had renewed it for me, not to worry...but apparently I had to authorize it. Guess where that was sent? Yup, - which has been defunct for nearly 3 years now. Whew. What a mess. In fact, as of this writing - I still have no email or website. It's quite distressing. At least I know I won't lose the domain name - but in 4 years, the site has never, EVER, been down. You realize just how much it means to you when there's a chance of losing it. 4 letter .com domains are nonexistent now. Hell it was amazing I got it in 1999. Man that was 4 years ago. That's an entire Highschool life - poof. So that's why you're all probably reading this late. Heh - so what's May like?
And finally, the real stress that I'm saving for the end just to give my nerves a break. No wait - one more funny thing:
So I finally did it (so I thought), bought a videogame that Jessica wouldn't want to play. It was becoming quite funny how my game buying habits were changing. I rarely buy them anymore to begin with, and if it's something Jess won't be interested - well I just don't get it. From Animal Crossing, to Zelda, to even a Beach Volleyball game with half naked chicks (word) - she's actually gotten into them, therefore it's money well spent as we both share it.
But I knew NBA Street, Vol. 2 would not be one of those games. A dream game for me of course as it has all the old school NBA Legends playing side-by-side (Shaq vs. Wilt rules) and 3 Michael Jordans. WOOOOOORD. So I actually felt bad spending the money - because, no - as cool as she is - she's not a sports fan.
I tried though - to get her interested. I first created myself in the game, and amazingly - they actually have my hat.
Is that spooky or what? It's friggin' me. So she thought that was cool, and ended up making herself - and starting up her own career. Suprisingly she got the hang of all the tricks pretty quickly, and before you knew it she was further along than me. Winning games, builiding up her character - she was actually into it. So after an evening of watching her surpass everything I had done earlier in the day - I thought I'd just take her on. So we took seperate teams, and both picked the 1996 Michael Jordan, and Kobe Bryant for a 3 on 3 game. As fair as could be. I figured hey, I taught her everything she knows - so this should be quite easy.
She beat me 23-21. And I TRIIIIIED. I mean, she was blocking my shots, stealing the ball - dunking over my ass every chance she got. It was a game to 21 (win by 2), so it was back and forth for awhile. Her Jordan won it on a long-ass bomb that I barely missed blocking. To this very moment, I can't belive it. She completely outplayed me in every possible aspect. And this is in an NBA basketball game. I wasn't sure if I wanted to kiss her or never speak to her again. LOL. The game is amazing btw - out for all 3 consoles...pick it up.
Ok, I've stalled long enough: The House. What a weekend of HELL on the house. Right after my last entry - we learned that she had found an apartment. But it's not time to celebrate - cause she still doesn't think she can move on time. She's got a bunch of school projects around the same time, and she's busy. Heh. Can you imagine what my reaction to that was? I won't even bother typing it - you all just said it. She was adament that she could move out NO earlier than May 17th - pushing our move-in date to the 21st. Effectively screwing us, as our time off would then be over. After days of fighting back and forth through the realtors, we finally got an "OK" from her that she'd be out on time. What the hell that means is beyond me though. Somehow her saying "ok" means more than her signature did 2 months ago? Whatever. The stress just keeps mounting. I wish I had a Paulie and Christopher to knock on her door sometimes. I keep seeing Tony Soprano's smiling face at her doorstep. "So you're having trouble moving out? I'm certain we could help." Heh. Basically I won't believe anything is official until we start rippin' up the carpet. That "should" still happen on Wednesday evening, May 14th. Here's hopin'.
And the final bit of stress of course is the whole "Career" thing. No matter how often I tell myself that it's ok to chill for a few months while I pin down the domestic stuff, and that in the long run I'm better off because I'm securing my future here.. it still doesn't feel like enough. They had the story of Jim Carrey on E! a few days ago, and that one really hits me for some reason. Parallels and what not. A unique act that hits the right people, and eventually finds a niche. He's such an incredible physical specimen though, that it's pretty easy to see his path lies in front of the camera, doing his thing. The things he can do with his face is just spooky. My act is not as much raw talent as it is combining every talent I can think of in a unique way. Who knows which is better suited to "making it". Seems there's room for both. I also feel that this "manager hunt" will lead to me going on a college tour for some reason. I asked Jess if she was cool with that, and she said yes. It just seems that the act calls for touring a bit. It would be good exposure, good money, and just something that needs to be done - especially before kids. I'm really gonna try and hit that up once I have both shows complete. It would be a pretty killer one hour show.
So things are basically good, just "heavy". I watched "Stand By Me" the other day and a line really stuck out that never hit me before. Narrator says:  "We knew who we were, and where we were going". That's truly what you lose when you grow up. Very few of us have direction that clear. I whine like it's my own demon - but it's everyone's. We all want that clear direction and when you're a kid you don't worry about "who you are" and "where you're going". You are where and who you are at that moment. At recess you're a basketball player, at school you're a scholar (if you want to be), at home you're's all pretty clear. Then the safety net disappears and you spend however long trying to find out what the hell's going on. Great movie. Hopefully this will be too someday.