YouTube link added 02.11.09
3:14 PM, Saturday, February 15th, 2003:
I pretty much live for stories like this. They're stories that have no other place in life, but in a journal of some sort. They don't stand on their own as movies, or even short stories - but as a real-life occurence they hold weight. It's interesting in the context of "The Journey". And really - you just go "wow" when you see how much transpired on this day.
So I'm driving to Toyota as my lease is up this month. On my way there I see the "Ha-Ha Cafe" and remember how good that show was, and how the owner wanted to build a night around it. Charlotte didn't feel that was in our best interest and it fell away - but shit, now what would I have to lose. As well, he did what he said he would do almost a year ago - huge pictures of spotlighted performers on the billboard out front. Vegas-style. Looked really nice. I was impressed.
Toyota was a joke. The idiot receptionist told me to take my car back to where I leased it from. I said that was in "OHIO". She seemed like she understood, then made a call, then hung up and said - "No, you'll have to take it back to where you leased it from". I become testy at this point. "You want me to drive my car to OHIO." A few looks are shared... "Would you like to speak to the manager?". I wanted to say - THE ONE IN OHIO!??! But I stopped my assholier than thou attitude. The manager said he can't take the car - that I have to call the place in Ohio and work something out for a drop-off here. Whatever. Like no one has ever moved during a lease before. LOL.
So on my way back I stop at Haha's. It's around 1:30 and the owner was with his wife eating dinner. I get out - and get his attention. I had to remind him who I was - but when I said "TVs" he got really excited. He loved the show the first time, and invited me in and brought his wife over. He wanted to do something - and now. He had a huge show planned for tonight, and wanted me to close it out. Go on like 10:30. Perfect for a Friday night. I thought for a second, and then said - well yeah - if I set-up RIGHT NOW, then go to work (I was working for just 2-3 hours around 4) and then come back it just might work. So BOOM. I have a show.
I'm driving home to get my trailer, and my head is spinning. I'm pumped up again. I'm so elated I had just happen to burn 5 copies of the DVD, I can make the covers and be ready to go for tonight. As well, this guy wants to make a night around the show. I have a built-in full audience. This is perfect. As well, I can premiere Trinitrons 2 there. I can build up to it. Just perfect.
As my head is spinning - I notice the guy in front of me turning into a side street. When all the sudden BAAAAAAAAAAM. He fuckin SLAMS into a pole, knocks it down - smashes through a fire-hydrant and into some bushes. Violently. With NO ONE around. Just out of the blue. Either drunk or asleep. It was incredible. I slow down, and look back and he's just staring forward, unharmed. I thought about getting out, but other people were stopping - and there was just no way. I was really pushing it as it was. But it did make me stop and think of the "LA mentality". I'd have done the same thing in Columbus had I seen no one was hurt, but it still seemed rather selfish of me. But so surreal. It's like I'm all giddy-about how great things are and then BAAAAAAAM. Strange.
So I get the trailer, go back to set up. Get everything up and running. My bottom TVs are dying quickly though. May have to do something about that - but for now we're cool. The DVD player FROZE at one point as I was testing it- so (sigh) I have to run it off my camcorder (as I've done the last 4 times because of that..... what the hell??!) So I can't tape it. GRRR.
So then I rush off to home, change for work, prep one of the rooms for painting on Saturday, 2 hours later I'm rushing back home. I go to Kinko's to make 5 copies of covers for the 5 DVDs and oh yeah, I have to shave. LOL. It's hectic as hell - but we get there, the owner buys us dinner - and the show starts.
Killer crowd, killer comedians - amazing turnout. Perfect audience. Laughing a bunch - great mix of black, hispanic, white - I couldn't have picked a better crowd. The comedians were also very good. Very seasoned - some very funny shit. All of 'em making jokes about the TVs on stage. I always look for that from the stand-ups in this situation. If you can work the TVs into the act, you're good at your shit. One black dude as he was leavin the stage said: "How many brothas in the audience?" the guys raise their hands, "Cool, you're gonna help me take these TVs later..." Heh.
Unfortunately however, the show ran really long. I was supposed to go on at 10:30, and didn't go on until 11:20. Now the crowd was laughin', so it wasn't that big of a deal - but still. The show started at 8:30. It was friggin' looooong. But - my show is a great ender, so I was excited...
...much in the same way that I was excited driving back from the Ha-Ha earlier that day. Same feelings and thoughts. Remember what happened then? Right - a surreal crash that felt like a dream.
I have never in my 27 years on this earth, been more dumbfounded by an audience's reaction in my life. It was so bad, people actually left. People stood up, blocking my screens during the last song. The Emcee came up afterwards and asked people if they liked it - they said "No". First of all, that was kind of a dick move on his part, but his choice. It was incredible. Begs the question...why.
I could make excuses upon excuses, but it all sounds so arrogant. As if there's something actually wrong with the people if they don't like me. You know? But the bottom line is - they obviously didn't get it. Many of the people were so far off to the side, that they saw nothing. They expected a joke a second - and there is a "slight" build-up (very slight) at the beginning. But with all that aside, I mean - they didn't even understand the rewind bit? Maybe 2 laughs during Spencer's song? This is something that has KILLED in every setting.
As well though, they had all sat there for over 3 hours before I came on. That's a fucking long time. No matter how funny the comics were, 3 hours is a show. My extra 30 minutes (and they had no idea what to expect timewise) was easily too much. As well, nothing from the emcee about the fact that it was a one-man show - and I honestly don't believe the majority of the people had any idea it was all me. The Emcee didn't even know. He wasn't even watching the show. When it ended - he never came back on. I had to find his ass. Very weak. And hearing everyone say how much they didn't like it ONSTAGE while I was backstage in dreamland was just...crazy. I started to giggle actually. It was so foreign to anything that has ever happened to me - that I kind of started to enjoy it. As if I was getting the opportunity to sit in someone else's shoes. But that was fleeting. I'd love to say I can just let this go, but nope. This'll stick with me until I'm successful again. I can't control it. I will think of it several times a day, every second I'm writing the sequel - constantly. That's just how I work. I wish I could change it.
Of course this friggin' journal just FORCES me to face it all with the whole world being able to read it. Grrr. They can see me as an arrogant cock who decides to blame the audience when I fail. Something I thought I'd never, ever do - I'm doing openly right now. But in my defense, I did the show 12 times before this, including an amazing night at The Comedy Store, to some of the most incredible response you can imagine. So you have to chalk it up to a fluke. That it was just "over the heads" of most of the audience. That's not so much arrogance as it is the law of averages.
And talk about the longest tear-down of my life. I actually wanted to hide. I wanted to curl up into a ball and have it all just be put away for me. SUCH a different feeling than any other performance in my life. The owner was still positive, we'll talk next week. He said we should do it "differently" next time. So the guy certainly knows his shit. And obviously, the first show I did there was AMAZING. I mean, one of my top 3 performances. And no, I'm not showing that video because I'm a pussy. I had to run my show off my camera because of my fugged up DVD player. I'm gonna try and get a copy of the bad show this week. Hell, I want it more than anything.
...right. Heh.
To balance everything out, although it may be just as big of a set-up for a crash, we just filled out all the paperwork for our first offer on a house. In what may be the smallest 2 bedroom house I've ever seen, the location just blew us away. All the other houses in the area are in the $300,000 range - smack dab in the middle of Burbank. It's the SHIT. We made an offer actually $2500 over their asking price of $215,000 as there were 4 offers and 1 counter-offer already on the table, and it's completely comfortable to pull off with all the first-time buyer stuff. Garage, front yard - very quaint, but the location will absolutely, positively assure us a SUBSTANTIAL gain in 3-5 years. Including the work we put in on it, the location just can't be beat. It's actually a good 10 minutes closer to work than we are now. LOL. It's a MILE from work for both Jess and I - and in the middle of everything.
We should know tomorrow or Monday, and Jess and I are completely holding our breath. We want this puppy bad. And again, just as it's easy to say "write-off last night's show", it's easy to say "don't worry about the house". Neither will happen anytime soon - and we're just praying for time to pass until we find out. I'll obviously keep you posted.
So there you go. The Valentine's Day Massacre. Mofos left in the middle of the show - LOL. Might as well have been at LULUS. HA!!!