YouTube link added 02.06.09
8:17 PM, Monday, November 1st, 2004:
I kid, I kid. I'm sure there's a Kerry poster out there spelled "Carrie", but ya gotta just love that picture.
So here it is. Hard to believe that it's possible that in 24 hours this will all be over with. And honestly, I do believe it will be known by then. The probability of it being as close as it was before is truly astronomical. I would gather if you set up a mock-state with 5 million voters and told them WHO to vote for to make it an exact tie - it still wouldn't be within 500 votes. Just too many variables. So I do think we'll know. And finally, I do believe that Bush will win this. I think fear is more powerful than hope and people are sheep. God I don't mean to be rude to Bush voters, but I do believe the people that are voting for Bush for security reasons are completely being hoodwinked. Bush BY HIMSELF has created a bigger world of enemies in such a short amount of time that he alone is a threat to our security. Yet, he plays it as his strength. Extraordinary. The only hope is that the kids come out in droves. If we get over 60% of the registered voters voting, Kerry should pull it out...but man, there's a lot of young republicans out there (ahem, the entry picture). It's a toss-up and as I said before, I will be SHOCKED if "hope" beats "fear". It's going to be one of the longest days I've ever experienced.
Made just a bit quicker by how busy I am at work...
Yeah, so the mortgage company finally called back. Well, it's more like - I called over and over and herad nothing, finally called the lady who originally told me about it - and with her CELL PHONE, I finally reached them in the office. (sigh). But I finally got through, and started today.
It's funny, I expected to be really anxious and have everything go over my head and by the end of the day I left feeling like I would kick ass. It really all comes down to being trustworthy and working your ass off to help people. I'm going to put in 12 hour days and MAKE this work. I really don't have a choice in the matter. As I've said before, this can't: "Not work out". It has to, and I have to make it work. If it means I SLEEP THERE...I'll bring my pillow. I will make this work. Once I get everything down, it will be a normal schedule but at the beginning, I'm going to be a madman. My entire dream depends on it - and FINALLY I have a goal, and a path to get to it. Man, when I have that - I have always succeeded.
The next question has to be - when the hell will you do what you're there to do!?!? You didn't move to LA to sell mortgages! Thank you Captain Obvious. Maybe you're just checkin' in on the journey, but this year would be what we like to call a "critical crossroad" in my life. To say I'm on the verge of losing everything is an understatement. In fact, I've pretty much lost everything I've ever cared about and am staring at complete failure in life, let alone 4tvs. So all that matters right now is securing my future and allowing this to continue. It's a bit of a side-track, yes. But in time, this should allow me the freedom to not only stay here, but to be able to fund 4tvs the way it needs to be.
So bear with me for the next couple months. It's gonna be fuckin' hard. These last 2 months with Jess are going to redefine emotional. My ultimate hope is to have January 1st 2005 arrive and not have to sell the house and the dogs. But it's a non-issue. As I said before - this will work. I will not sell this house, I will not sell my dogs, and I will not give up and go back to Ohio. So the next few months will absolutely chronicle my success in securing all of this so I can reconcentrate on everything else.
What time man, what a time. All in the most important election year of many lifetimes. I'm videotaping me voting tomorrow. Not that it really matters in California, but maybe I won't be on the list and I can get all crazy and shit. LOL. That would rule.
PS - the video is actually pretty extraordinary. While on the Letterman show Bush thought the cameras weren't rolling during a commercial break. As the producer came over to talk to Letterman, he grabs her blouse and wipes off his glasses while she's turned around. At first it struck me as kind of funny and then it hit me just how incredibly disrespectful it is. It's such an insight into how he feels about not only himself, but others. This is a complete stranger to him, you know? Truly, watch it a few times and think about the context, it won't hit you right just kinda sets in. It's an absolutely invaluable look into his mind.
I mean, I would venture to say that even Clinton, who thinks very, very highly of himself - would never be this demeaning. Anyway, the video just really struck me. Vote. And only for Kerry. Yeah, I realize it's PC to say just vote, it doesn't matter who for...but no - I'm gonna be honest. If you're voting for Bush, I'd rather you stay home tomorrow mmmmk? Ahhh, that felt better. LOL.