Sick sucks. Well,
if I'm gonna be sick - make it outrageous. Make it
dramatic man. Let me remember it. I see no point in
just having no energy for a week. I've been home for a
week and fighting a bit of a cold I got back in Ohio.
Add to that Jess is recovering still from the
appendectomy so we've redefined "slug" in the past 7
days.
It
drives me a little mental though.
I see a whole day pass before my eyes
and I think "hell I could've built a
wall
today." LOL. Granted I've been on the
productive streak of a lifetime, and a
rest is certainly needed - but it eats at
me when I'm actually home.
The good news
though is I finally have an interview with the
DVD Menu making company I mentioned before.
After weeks of calling and haggling, everyone finally
got the resume, the DVDs, and it was enough to warrant
a sit-down. Man I've certainly been watching too many
Sopranos lately haven't I. Anyway, the lady was really
nice - we seemed to hit it off even on the phone. I'm
absolutely certain that if she gives me enough time,
she'll at least give me the chance. It doesn't seem
like there's many people up for this.
The real kicker
about it though is I'm perfect for it. All she kept
saying was how much "attention to detail" is
needed. The job seems to require every obsessive
strength I have when it comes to computer work.
I'm gonna print out the first page of Adamazon.com
for her to look at too. If that's not attention to
detail, I don't know what is.
And the timing
couldn't be anymore perfect. If I can pull this
off, it'll help this transition period with Jess and I
tremendously. We're in a bit of a scary place. As
well, completely surreal again. The question of why
we're doing this comes up daily and we always come up
with the same answer. It just hurts. There's so much
perfect about this relationship. It just kills me that
this is happening. And it's just going to get worse.
It's pretty much official that she's gonna be here
until Christmas at which point her mom is gonna fly
out and drive back across country with her. That's 3
months of...well happiness really. From her
perspective, the pressure is off. She knows she's not
going to live here so our time together is like a
vacation. Whereas before it was this big BLOB over her
head that kept her from ever being really happy.
Even worse is that
I love the "happy Jess" to death. It's the woman
I fell in love with and the woman I'd be with if
I lived in Columbus. Man - fuckin shit this sucks.
Sorry to be so crass but there's just no other way to
say it. The next 3 months are gonna be a kick in the
ass. These are the hardest days of the journey.
I cannot tell you how badly I want to step
off the plane back into LA: 2005 and actually be able
to DEAL with all of this. It's just so much
now.
And how is the
Journey 4tvs show even going to be watchable? I've
been tinkering with it and I must say that it's the
challenge of a lifetime to give this any type of arc
or "Story". I know the story is there. I know
there's an inspirational, touching - even funny story
within these 5 years, but goddamn if the depressing
shit doesn't stand out right now. Probably a timing
thing. Heh.
But a
great example of the juxtaposition of the
sad/funny in all of this is the last song,
"Empty Walls". The second I finished
the song I turned around and looked
at the wall and said: "You know that wall
was always empty...". Here, just watch the
video.
I mean the song is so sad, so REAL. I'm
sitting in the empty room and just
ad-libbed a song because the room felt
lonely...and right as it ends - boom:
joke.
That's what I need
to capture in this show. Even though the journey seems
to peak at the low-points, the highs come roaring
back. It is the definition of roller-coaster and
I just need to find the antidote to every sad
moment.
Hell
I think the best example of this is
Swirlin'
The
Bowl.
LOL - this one still makes me laugh. That
song was the epitome of perfection to me
when I made it. It looked and sounded
exactly the way I felt at that
moment. And the moment I realized it
was perfect and I was happy as hell with
what I produced, I realized it was
the friggin' melody to In & Out.
(In & Out is burger joint on the west
coast). God that pissed me off...but it's
really funny. Especially if I show
people the commercial and let them realize
the similarity.
Anyway, there's a
lot of restless pacing to be had from now until the
interview. Wish me luck.
