YouTube link added 02.09.09
12:35 AM, Sunday, January 18th, 2004:
The thought process was simple: How do I possibly get all of my tapes, CDs and DVDs on one page without it looking like a friggin' train wreck? I had struggled with that for awhile really because the "Recordings" section of the old site sucked. But now because of the redo, it was really buggin' me. Early morning on December 23rd, as I was waking up, I started thinking about my day off and it occured to me to just make a mock store like
"Hell, I bet I could just piggy-back on their layout. It'd be a great way to organize everything…"
Seriously, I never moved. I'm telling you I got the idea and I was off. I worked every friggin' moment I was awake (with Jess's hours and my unreasonably long amount of time off work, I had little else to do), and it kept looking better and better. A day into it, I looked at the amazon logo and thought I saw my name. Then it hit me - How perfect is that? I knew the domain name would be taken though. Did a check….voila. FRIGGIN' VOILA. Got the name, made the logo - holy shit how perfect is this? For once my name comes in PERFECT in this situation. But the framework difficulties…whew.
I mean, the amount of coding that goes into one page of is pretty intense. You can't just copy the code, and change the pictures. You're basically working from the ground up. It was much like how I had to do parody songs at CD101. I didn't have the background tracks. I had to use the spaces IN BETWEEN THE WORDS to edit and recreate the whole song, then write it. It was a bear to say the least. Same here. A song/site from scratch would defintely be easier.
So once I got all my projects in, I decided it was best if I just put placeholders in for projects I know are coming. T3 of course will be out this year, and it forced me to choose a title "The Trinitrons 3 - The Band Strikes Back" - It's gonna be a classic ending to the trilogy, can't wait. And The Listener Bits CD was done in 1999, so I figured I should probably get around to finishing the cover art and have that available so bam, bam, 2 placeholders there…
…well before you know it I look up and I have 24 projects. 14 CDs, 7 Cassettes, and 3 DVDs. Had no idea I had that much, because I never took the time to really put it in a nice, neat package. Man there is some extraordinary stuff here. The Late Show CDs are absolutely killer. I just listened to "Late Show Leftovers" the other day and was laughing my ass off. Not even close to scraping the barrel. And the CD101 Listener Bits are some of the best things I've ever done. Each bit with introductions and music…highest quality for sure. "Songs From The Journey (Years 1-5)" CD is probably going to be my favorite as my generation is about as ADD as anyone and these songs are all only 1-2 minutes. All the songs from the site on a CD in video and mp3 form. Should be about 40 tracks by the end of 2004. The Complete Boyles mp3 disc which I've actually already sold - but now will have full cover art and be linked like a mini-website.
Of course every page needed its own customer reviews, editorial reviews, links to mp3s, track listings…I mean - this is a lot of work for even 1 or 2 projects…but 24? LOL. Ridiculous. Then of course all the covers! I had to come up with 6 new covers that I never bothered to make. Cover art is a big ass deal to me and I wasn't going to half ass it. These 6 covers alone took nearly 40 hours. Everything looks so deceptively simple. It just never, ever is. And for every cover there were always 3 rejected designs. Ugh. Up first, Complete Boyles Collection.
I could probably put that together now in about 20 minutes. This went through so many incarnations. From a cover with every cassette cover to just Lester, to just Lester & Johnny...ugh - never ended. Kept making it too complicated with just way too much shit. I love this layout though, it's to the point. Should most likely be released in the Spring. Click on the covers to go to their respective sites on
Another one I must've done 5 versions of. I finally just scrapped everything in frustration. The bottom line was again, they were all too busy. The story of The Journey is a simple one. This picture says it all. Then we had the 2 Listener Bits CDs.
Believe it or not it took 2 hours to clean that signing board for the first one. And fellas, trust me if I had a picture of "Sex @ Speedway" , It would've been there. HEH. But actually, these are exactly what they should be. Jimbo and Crazy Food Boy were the 2 biggest contributors to The Late Show, and by all means should be on the covers. Fairly simple covers, I avoided the urge to flood the cover with every bit, and all the pictures I had...I saved the crazy stuff for the next 2 covers.
This one hurt just a little. It's been ten years people. TEN YEARS. Whew. Moving on. I basically took all the outtake photos from the two shoots, and put them all over the cover with Unreal on the left, and Tomorrow on the right. Here's the originals:
Highly embarrassing, but hey - no computer, just cut and paste. ("No Adam, it's the POSE that's embarrasing, not the cut and paste") Yeah yeah. Anyway, those are all letters from my Columbia Records tapes. Heh. Thank you Billy Joel. The new CD is basically just a chronoligcal order of all the songs before "Stronger Than Before". A little bit of overlapping, but I wanted to show the progression from "Me & You" in 1992 to "Forever For Now" in 1994. You truly have to be a FAN to want this CD for sure, but I hated having the two cassettes on the site as SOLD OUT, and have no way for anyone to have the songs. That and the 10 year anniversary made it a no-brainer: Time for the re-release.
And finally what has to be the coolest cover I've ever made:
Folks, that is badass. That is just bad-ass. I actually wrote about the concept for the cover in my big "to-do" list in October of 2000, but I then thought I would have to manually write labels on a bunch of tupperware and take pictures. Enter the internet-age. Search for a picture of leftovers in someone's fridge, have some fun in photoshop - and voila - it's done. Of course it took me like 8 hours. I swear man, if you had told me I would find the picture relatively easy - I'd tell you I could put all the titles on in about an hour. NOPE. Just takes forever. But man, the end result rules.
So when all this was done, I had this great little site. You couldn't actually buy anything - but it was fun to look through...
...but it looked too good. It went well beyond a nice layout - it actually made people WANT to buy things. And supplying an email address or even a PO box to send a check to was just NOT cool. Looks ghetto. You can't have a site like this and then do that. So I finally decided, no matter what the cost - I was going to have this be a working store. Shopping cart and everything. Allow people to look around, pick some things - have the total calculate for you, and allow you to pay with a check or a credit card - OVER the net. Paypal offers this to their business class members, so I signed up a new name to a new checking account and learned all the coding to get it to work.
This of course is where all hell broke loose on the web-design end, because amazon's pages already had all that shit, and everything was constantly interfering. Nothin' like trying to buy The Trinitrons DVD and getting Amazon's Sex & The City. It actually took me one FULL day to get ONE page to work. I think it was 10 straight hours troubleshooting until I finally got the cart to work and then the view cart button didn't work. I got to the point many times where I was truly about to give up. Just wasn't worth it when probably 3 people are gonna buy stuff - but then I'd start clicking around the site, and it totally inspired me again, so I kept at it.
The end result is an amazing, fully functioning promotional tool that makes everyone's jaw drop when they see it. It has the exact desired effect on the viewer and if you want anything, it's like 2 clicks away. Shipping and handling is cheap as hell, and you can "impulse support" instantly. Realize though, the actual financial side of this is a DIIIIIIIIIISTANT second on "reasons for". Sure, I'd like to get rid of all this product I have, but I want to impress you more. Of course the final piece of this puzzle is themselves: whether or not they'll sue me.
Folks, as is the case with the Trinitrons, if I get a cease and desist letter from Amazon or Sony I will be the luckiest man alive. Press releases will go out immediately and I will begin the campaign of all campaigns. Publicity will be mine for the asking. Unfortunately, I'm not even a small fry - I'm the hard crunchy parts at the bottom of the French fry container. There is no way these humungous companies are gonna spend their legal budget to shut down my one-man show, or my site with 15 hits. LOL. It makes no sense. And especially in the case with - it's a parody. I'm not trying to be an e-commerce site. If I had one product on there that wasn't promotional for me? Yeah, they'd have a point - but it's obviously a promotional tool and again - there's no justification for the money it would take them, even to have a letter sent…but maaaaaaaan if they do.
I think I'm gonna get business cards made up with on them and get em in the hands of everyone I can find. I want a buzz about this. I want people showing it to their friends because of how real it looks. It's just so well executed. And it's inclusion on the site to me is just that final slap in the face to anyone who hits it: "What can't he do?".
And I have to believe that if I constantly keep hitting people over the head, that at some point they'll say: "OK, WE GET IT"…and I will move to the next level. And that's what it's all about right? Moving forward. And when I look at the home page of I see that progression. For the past 10 years I have consistently one-upped myself. From one project to the next, you can see the path. It leads to 4tvs and it leads to bigger and better things. Radio was obviously a testing grounds for my comedy, just as the music career was the testing grounds for my writing and all roads led to the show I have right now: The Trinitrons. Mix that with a more mainstream show that will allow me a broader media spotlight… it works. I'm there.
And I am friggin' stoked. I'd say that I'm now going to kill myself and start hammerin' out the T3 script - but I need to mentally chill out for like a week. This was the most intense 30 day period of my life - no kidding. My tank is on empty. I feel like I did 4 months worth of work in 4 weeks. T3 will happen, I just need to rev up a bit.
Killer 300 man. Woot. And the video rules. Oh, and it's a 10 second download so y'all have no excuse.
PS - oh and uhm can you please consider buying some shit? And uhm, can you write about some of the shit you've already bought? The customer review section is pretty barren. As I said this isn't a financial thing, but you can't imagine how badly Jess and I need the money right now. So if there's anything you've ever wanted, please don't hesitate to use your credit card. Paypal is incredibly safe and completely free (I pay all your fees). And again, any words you can write down about the various products you may already have would be greatly appreciated. I'll even put a link on the review to your site or whatever you'd like. Thanks again.