Jesus, you look up
and a week has passed. Welcome to the month in my life
where my only goal each day is to try and be less
stressed than the day before (Living Room Live
hiatus). Still, I usually do the "After-April Fools
Day" entry immediately as to not keep you all
guessing, but Guitar Hero 2 for the 360 came out and
has OWNED me ever since. I've hit the wall on that
game (fuggin' Psychobilly Freakout on Hard) and will
now come back to The Journey...
...so
I pretty much got all of you - AGAIN. To those
who don't know, April Fool's Day on The Journey is a
now 8 year tradition in which the goal is not so much
to fabricate a story...as it is to trick those
reading it. The reason it's changed is because after
getting people 3-4 years in a row - the only way to
trick them was to tell them the truth, and have them
THINK they didn't get had... when alas, they did. So a
quick rundown of the last 7 years and the reveal for
this year:
2000 - Jess
leaving -
FALSE (a bit
ironic considering, but false
nonetheless)
2001 - Winning
the lottery -
FALSE (best
joke EVER, so hard to pull off
believeability)
2002 - Trailer
stolen -
FALSE
(pretty weak, but got some of you)
2003 - Dad's
heart scare -
TRUE (bound
to happen, huge news on THAT day)
2004 - Leaving
LA - FALSE
(so well written, it even felt true to
ME)
2005 - Adam
"4tvs" Kontras -
TRUE (true
at the time, but papers never filed)
2006 -
Charlotte/America's Got Talent -
TRUE
(nothing will ever beat this entry)
2007 - Still
Married -
TRUE (every
word of that entry is true, even the
Wii)
Yes, believe it or
not - the last entry was 100% true. Oh and for future
reference, it's always 100% one way or the other. It's
kinda cheap to have a TRUE entry and then put a FALSE
part in there. Basically, if you think any part of the
entry is FALSE, the whole thing is FALSE, and
vice-versa. Them's the rules of the game. And what's
so funny, is that you all had no problem thinking
I was still married to Jess - but giving up my
beloved Wii!?!?! NEVER! LOL. Classic.
So the truth of
the matter is that because of the house (a shared
investment with Jess even after the split) we never
filed the paperwork. We could've done a quickie
self-filing divorce for like $300, but the house makes
it so complicated - we figured any lawyer would just
force us to sell it. So we avoided it until we could
figure something out.
As the years
passed, the investment became too difficult for Jess
who was working and going to school full-time. She
also met her new stud, Jeff, and they wanted a nest
egg for their life together... voila: solution. I buy
her out, then we can do the quickie divorce as the
house is now completely in my name. So amazingly, Jess
and Jeff came out here for a week's vacation, and it
just so happened that the closing of the buyout was
that week - and we were able to sign all the
paperwork. So to friends and family on both sides
wondering when the hell we were ever going to make it
official already:
I actually
put that hat on for old time's sake, I never wear
it anymore...
Signed, notorized
and soon to be filed in Ohio. :-)
Now, for those
wondering about the whole "4tvs" middle name
thingee... ya can't do it in Ohio! On the California
papers, it had a space for EACH person to change their
names, so I really did change my middle name to 4tvs.
Honest to Goodness. In Ohio however, there's no option
for men to do that and since it's cheaper to get
divorced in Ohio... My name is officially still Adam
Kontras. How boring. I so wanted my middle
initial to be 4. LOL. Adam 4. Kontras. Love
it.
Then there's the
rest of the story. They stayed at the house? Huh? I
guess people just really never understood my
relationship with Jess. Love her to death, never been
happier for her - we made a decision out of LOVE.
There is no jealousy, there is no anger... that's the
whole point. It wasn't a failed relationship, it was
the most successful relationship I've ever had. We
made a choice for each other to be happy for the rest
of our lives - happens to be, it was APART, in
different cities. End of story. I want so badly for
people in similar situations to HEAR our story. To
understand that seperating isn't some horrible evil
that will be looked upon with scorn and embarrassment.
What a fucked up society we live in! Anyone who sees
Jess and I as a failure on any level needs to
look within themselves to see what it is they're
really feeling. To me, marriage is NOT a legal
document. It's a commitment to love someone for life
and help them at all costs. Not be beholden to a piece
of paper at the behest of the person you care about.
Man, I wish I could have fit
"behoove" into that sentence. Three words
beginning with "beh" in one sentence has to be a
record.
;-)
So the signing was
kind of a celebration. In a surreal moment for sure,
Jeff and Donna were the 2 witnesses for the divorce
papers. Ha! I'm sure both of them were a bit relieved.
Although you can explain to the new person why
you're still married, and that there's really nothing
else between us, in the back of their minds they had
to think: "Then get di-fuckin-vorced already."
Heh.
Then of course
there's Jeff's view of everything. I gotta hand
it to him man. To spend a week at your fiancee's....
uhm HUSBAND's house? Sheeeeeeeeeeeit. How Springer is
that? We actually went out a couple times in Columbus
last fall and got along great. We like video games,
and honestly - I'm just so happy that it's not Gunner
I could kiss the man. Anal is the Spank... what the
hell. Sorry, those 2 sentences are so inside... LOL.
Anyway, Jeff is awesome, Jess is happy - and I am
BEAMING. I can't tell you how wonderful the week
was they were here. Except I just did. (sigh). My
writing is so goddamn literal sometimes.
Anyway, to see her
with a great guy, happy as hell about getting married
and having kids - and knowing that buying her out was
going to pay off all her credit cards and allow her to
start a new life with someone else... seriously,
thinking of it now nearly brings me to tears. Jess, we
did it. We did it! We struggled for years with our
deicision, we ripped our hearts out during every
moment of the process and we both came out on top at
the end of it all. It is a love story like no other,
and we are a shining example of for others to follow.
And besides, Jess & Jeff sounds so adorable.
Although I will call you Jessie from now on...
especially because Jeff's last name is Jackson.
Goddamn that rocks. HAHAHA.
Oh and yes, Jeff
did show me how to do a brake job on my car and I will
happily save money on brake jobs the rest of my life
(as long as I don't go past the brake pads). You rock
brotha.
And of course...
the Wii. They had been searching for months in Ohio
and had yet to find it. I knew how badly they wanted
it... I knew how little I have time to play
it because of CBS and in all honesty, I like the
online capabilities of the 360 more. If I have
ANY free time to play games at all, the system
that I can play online with Marty MOOSE is gonna
be a first option. Also, I love Jessica's nieces
to death and the thought of them getting to play it
made me smile...
...even as
I write it I can't believe it either. LOL. What
the hell did I do!!! Hahaha. Enjoy it
guys.
So there's the
explanation of the Year 8 April Fool's Joke. That's 4
False, 4 True. Who knows what 2008 will
bring...
Adam
PS -
How 'bout that beard in the
video
huh? So that's what happens when
you're forced to shave constantly to look
like Spencer for 3 straight months...
during a hiatus you tell the razor to go
fuck himself. Hmm, do razors have gender?
Yes, for the first time in my life, I'm
growing a beard. I'll take some comparison
pictures to my father who had a full beard
for the first 20 years of my life. You
thought we looked alike in the pictures
last month? Sheeeeeeeeit. Just
wait.
