(click the picture above for the high definition video - but also click YouTube for me!)
YouTube link added 01.29.09
12:04 PM, Saturday, April 7th, 2007:
Jesus, you look up and a week has passed. Welcome to the month in my life where my only goal each day is to try and be less stressed than the day before (Living Room Live hiatus). Still, I usually do the "After-April Fools Day" entry immediately as to not keep you all guessing, but Guitar Hero 2 for the 360 came out and has OWNED me ever since. I've hit the wall on that game (fuggin' Psychobilly Freakout on Hard) and will now come back to The Journey...
...so I pretty much got all of you - AGAIN. To those who don't know, April Fool's Day on The Journey is a now 8 year tradition in which the goal is not so much to fabricate a story...as it is to trick those reading it. The reason it's changed is because after getting people 3-4 years in a row - the only way to trick them was to tell them the truth, and have them THINK they didn't get had... when alas, they did. So a quick rundown of the last 7 years and the reveal for this year:
2000 - Jess leaving - FALSE (a bit ironic considering, but false nonetheless)
2001 - Winning the lottery - FALSE (best joke EVER, so hard to pull off believeability)
2002 - Trailer stolen - FALSE (pretty weak, but got some of you)
2003 - Dad's heart scare - TRUE (bound to happen, huge news on THAT day)
2004 - Leaving LA - FALSE (so well written, it even felt true to ME)
2005 - Adam "4tvs" Kontras - TRUE (true at the time, but papers never filed)
2006 - Charlotte/America's Got Talent - TRUE (nothing will ever beat this entry)
2007 - Still Married - TRUE (every word of that entry is true, even the Wii)
Yes, believe it or not - the last entry was 100% true. Oh and for future reference, it's always 100% one way or the other. It's kinda cheap to have a TRUE entry and then put a FALSE part in there. Basically, if you think any part of the entry is FALSE, the whole thing is FALSE, and vice-versa. Them's the rules of the game. And what's so funny, is that you all had no problem thinking I was still married to Jess - but giving up my beloved Wii!?!?! NEVER! LOL. Classic.
So the truth of the matter is that because of the house (a shared investment with Jess even after the split) we never filed the paperwork. We could've done a quickie self-filing divorce for like $300, but the house makes it so complicated - we figured any lawyer would just force us to sell it. So we avoided it until we could figure something out.
As the years passed, the investment became too difficult for Jess who was working and going to school full-time. She also met her new stud, Jeff, and they wanted a nest egg for their life together... voila: solution. I buy her out, then we can do the quickie divorce as the house is now completely in my name. So amazingly, Jess and Jeff came out here for a week's vacation, and it just so happened that the closing of the buyout was that week - and we were able to sign all the paperwork. So to friends and family on both sides wondering when the hell we were ever going to make it official already:
I actually put that hat on for old time's sake, I never wear it anymore...
Signed, notorized and soon to be filed in Ohio. :-)
Now, for those wondering about the whole "4tvs" middle name thingee... ya can't do it in Ohio! On the California papers, it had a space for EACH person to change their names, so I really did change my middle name to 4tvs. Honest to Goodness. In Ohio however, there's no option for men to do that and since it's cheaper to get divorced in Ohio... My name is officially still Adam Kontras. How boring. I so wanted my middle initial to be 4. LOL. Adam 4. Kontras. Love it.
Then there's the rest of the story. They stayed at the house? Huh? I guess people just really never understood my relationship with Jess. Love her to death, never been happier for her - we made a decision out of LOVE. There is no jealousy, there is no anger... that's the whole point. It wasn't a failed relationship, it was the most successful relationship I've ever had. We made a choice for each other to be happy for the rest of our lives - happens to be, it was APART, in different cities. End of story. I want so badly for people in similar situations to HEAR our story. To understand that seperating isn't some horrible evil that will be looked upon with scorn and embarrassment. What a fucked up society we live in! Anyone who sees Jess and I as a failure on any level needs to look within themselves to see what it is they're really feeling. To me, marriage is NOT a legal document. It's a commitment to love someone for life and help them at all costs. Not be beholden to a piece of paper at the behest of the person you care about. Man, I wish I could have fit "behoove" into that sentence. Three words beginning with "beh" in one sentence has to be a record.
So the signing was kind of a celebration. In a surreal moment for sure, Jeff and Donna were the 2 witnesses for the divorce papers. Ha! I'm sure both of them were a bit relieved. Although you can explain to the new person why you're still married, and that there's really nothing else between us, in the back of their minds they had to think:  "Then get di-fuckin-vorced already." Heh.
Then of course there's Jeff's view of everything. I gotta hand it to him man. To spend a week at your fiancee's.... uhm HUSBAND's house? Sheeeeeeeeeeeit. How Springer is that? We actually went out a couple times in Columbus last fall and got along great. We like video games, and honestly - I'm just so happy that it's not Gunner I could kiss the man. Anal is the Spank... what the hell. Sorry, those 2 sentences are so inside... LOL. Anyway, Jeff is awesome, Jess is happy - and I am BEAMING. I can't tell you how wonderful the week was they were here. Except I just did. (sigh). My writing is so goddamn literal sometimes.
Anyway, to see her with a great guy, happy as hell about getting married and having kids - and knowing that buying her out was going to pay off all her credit cards and allow her to start a new life with someone else... seriously, thinking of it now nearly brings me to tears. Jess, we did it. We did it! We struggled for years with our deicision, we ripped our hearts out during every moment of the process and we both came out on top at the end of it all. It is a love story like no other, and we are a shining example of for others to follow. And besides, Jess & Jeff sounds so adorable. Although I will call you Jessie from now on... especially because Jeff's last name is Jackson. Goddamn that rocks. HAHAHA.
Oh and yes, Jeff did show me how to do a brake job on my car and I will happily save money on brake jobs the rest of my life (as long as I don't go past the brake pads). You rock brotha.
And of course... the Wii. They had been searching for months in Ohio and had yet to find it. I knew how badly they wanted it... I knew how little I have time to play it because of CBS and in all honesty, I like the online capabilities of the 360 more. If I have ANY free time to play games at all, the system that I can play online with Marty MOOSE is gonna be a first option. Also, I love Jessica's nieces to death and the thought of them getting to play it made me smile...
...even as I write it I can't believe it either. LOL. What the hell did I do!!! Hahaha. Enjoy it guys.
So there's the explanation of the Year 8 April Fool's Joke. That's 4 False, 4 True. Who knows what 2008 will bring...
PS - How 'bout that beard in the video huh? So that's what happens when you're forced to shave constantly to look like Spencer for 3 straight months... during a hiatus you tell the razor to go fuck himself. Hmm, do razors have gender? Yes, for the first time in my life, I'm growing a beard. I'll take some comparison pictures to my father who had a full beard for the first 20 years of my life. You thought we looked alike in the pictures last month? Sheeeeeeeeit. Just wait.