Wheeeeeeeeeeew. I
just might get out of here on a high note. I'm
slightly ahead of myself however...
So my
dad had never been to Manhattan, and
because the February 10th news was so
extraordinary - I told him this would
probably be the best time to take a few
days off and come up. This was gonna be a
special trip. Ohio to NY is a quickie
flight and he'd miss very little time at
work. It was time to celebrate what was to
be a milestone in my life...
...as we know of
course the wrinkle from Wednesday is a daunting one to
process and although there's more than enough
positives to go around, they don't even begin to
compare to what I believed was happening for the
previous 4 weeks. Pops gets here however and we get to
spend all day talking things through, eating fun food,
and taking in some sites. Dad had a bum knee so it was
a bit of a struggle to get out too much, but thanks to
the wonderful subway system we did
alright.
As was the case in
LA, it's that overwhelming sense of everything
really being different. I have never known
success on this level, never known free hotel rooms,
fancy lunch meetings, it is still very, very...
cool. Heh. No other way to put it. I appreciate
it more than CBS can possibly imagine. Having a proud
father there just multiplies it... and what he'll see
tomorrow is just gonna blow him away. There's
something about being on a national television set
that really hits home what's happening.
More than anything
however it's just been spending moments with my dad
that at one point I truly thought would
never happen. I was sick of the conversations
about how I just need that one shot, and how my
potential was so big... that was fun in 1999, 2000. It
was excruciating in 2006. To the point of not talking
about it anymore because it was hard for him too. Now
however those days are a memory. Well, in a sense
they've come back but because I got that
shot, I'm doing it NOW and the potential is
even bigger. So there's that wonderment. I mean
we're in Manhattan together talking about it. That
alone fuels hours of fun.
We sat at a corner
starbucks on 56th and 6th for 2 hours (the second one
we closed that night) and just watched the city move.
Watched the wheels go round and round. Seeing things
through his eyes is wonderful to me. I really do
sit there and wonder what it must feel like to be in
his shoes. I know how much it killed him to watch
this Journey at times. How hard it must be for, hell,
everyone who saw how much I was doing...yet
nothing, ever, EVER, seeming to go my way. That
helpless feeling... I really do see it from that
perspective - 'cause as I always say (as strange as it
sounds) I'm a reader of this site as well. I'm
sometimes so detatched from this "Adam" character I'll
read the end of an entry and immediately click the
next one wondering what happens next. How does the
other shoe fall THIS time? So it was wonderful
sitting with not only my father, but with someone who
really has lived this whole thing with me as close as
anyone could possibly live it... and
smiling.
Which leads me to
one of the freakier things I've ever looked
at:
Can't
really say I'm adopted can
I.
Heh. Of course
there's always computer programs that can give you an
idea of how you'll age, but because of how similar to
my father I look anyway - this holds a bit more
"holy shitness" to it. I guess we'll know in
2032. I wonder if I'll have given up the hat by
then? Actually now that I think of it, that's
Cameron at 56. Ha. Yeah, that's totally what that is.
The hat doesn't even feel like me anymore - truth be
told I barely wear it anymore. God these
characters are way too real to me.
And I think
Vinnie may have gotten that feeling today. Ha! I met
with him again and I really do feel better about
everything. He was very impressed by how well thought
out my ideas were, just how certain I was that I
could pull these things off and the bottom line is, he
and Steve are behind me. Vinnie seems more
excited than he did when we first met. He senses how
aggressive and hungry I am and it's rubbing off
on him. Anything that is within the possibility of
happening at CBS WILL HAPPEN. So I just have
to breaaaaaaathe a bit, and get ready for the next
wave of production comin' my way. With the time off
between tomorrow and Living Room Live 3, and all of
the eventual "Up & Adam" stuff I'm gonna focus on
getting in better shape. It takes every ounce of
energy for a Kontras man to eat right and work out,
and now is not the time to be complacent. Something
about national television that reminds you of that
really quick.
Alright - tomorrow
should be a great day. Way to go Madeline!
