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YouTube link Added 01.28.09
4:05 PM, Monday, March 12th, 2007:
Wheeeeeeeeeeew. I just might get out of here on a high note. I'm slightly ahead of myself however...
So my dad had never been to Manhattan, and because the February 10th news was so extraordinary - I told him this would probably be the best time to take a few days off and come up. This was gonna be a special trip. Ohio to NY is a quickie flight and he'd miss very little time at work. It was time to celebrate what was to be a milestone in my life...
...as we know of course the wrinkle from Wednesday is a daunting one to process and although there's more than enough positives to go around, they don't even begin to compare to what I believed was happening for the previous 4 weeks. Pops gets here however and we get to spend all day talking things through, eating fun food, and taking in some sites. Dad had a bum knee so it was a bit of a struggle to get out too much, but thanks to the wonderful subway system we did alright.
As was the case in LA, it's that overwhelming sense of everything really being different. I have never known success on this level, never known free hotel rooms, fancy lunch meetings, it is still very, very... cool. Heh. No other way to put it. I appreciate it more than CBS can possibly imagine. Having a proud father there just multiplies it... and what he'll see tomorrow is just gonna blow him away. There's something about being on a national television set that really hits home what's happening.
More than anything however it's just been spending moments with my dad that at one point I truly thought would never happen. I was sick of the conversations about how I just need that one shot, and how my potential was so big... that was fun in 1999, 2000. It was excruciating in 2006. To the point of not talking about it anymore because it was hard for him too. Now however those days are a memory. Well, in a sense they've come back but because I got that shot, I'm doing it NOW and the potential is even bigger. So there's that wonderment. I mean we're in Manhattan together talking about it. That alone fuels hours of fun.
We sat at a corner starbucks on 56th and 6th for 2 hours (the second one we closed that night) and just watched the city move. Watched the wheels go round and round. Seeing things through his eyes is wonderful to me. I really do sit there and wonder what it must feel like to be in his shoes. I know how much it killed him to watch this Journey at times. How hard it must be for, hell, everyone who saw how much I was doing...yet nothing, ever, EVER, seeming to go my way. That helpless feeling... I really do see it from that perspective - 'cause as I always say (as strange as it sounds) I'm a reader of this site as well. I'm sometimes so detatched from this "Adam" character I'll read the end of an entry and immediately click the next one wondering what happens next. How does the other shoe fall THIS time? So it was wonderful sitting with not only my father, but with someone who really has lived this whole thing with me as close as anyone could possibly live it... and smiling.
Which leads me to one of the freakier things I've ever looked at:
Can't really say I'm adopted can I. Heh. Of course there's always computer programs that can give you an idea of how you'll age, but because of how similar to my father I look anyway - this holds a bit more "holy shitness" to it. I guess we'll know in 2032. I wonder if I'll have given up the hat by then? Actually now that I think of it, that's Cameron at 56. Ha. Yeah, that's totally what that is. The hat doesn't even feel like me anymore - truth be told I barely wear it anymore. God these characters are way too real to me.
And I think Vinnie may have gotten that feeling today. Ha! I met with him again and I really do feel better about everything. He was very impressed by how well thought out my ideas were, just how certain I was that I could pull these things off and the bottom line is, he and Steve are behind me. Vinnie seems more excited than he did when we first met. He senses how aggressive and hungry I am and it's rubbing off on him. Anything that is within the possibility of happening at CBS WILL HAPPEN. So I just have to breaaaaaaathe a bit, and get ready for the next wave of production comin' my way. With the time off between tomorrow and Living Room Live 3, and all of the eventual "Up & Adam" stuff I'm gonna focus on getting in better shape. It takes every ounce of energy for a Kontras man to eat right and work out, and now is not the time to be complacent. Something about national television that reminds you of that really quick.
Alright - tomorrow should be a great day. Way to go Madeline!