That is what I can
be thankful for tonight. Everything I thought and
was told was wrong. That or Vinnie just threw everyone
a curveball. This is for a weekly internet show, not
TV.
Yes, you read that
correctly. But he wants to do 5 shows on the air at
1:30 to promote the weekly internet show, showing how
serious they are about the internet. As if only the
worldwide web is big enough to contain this,
television is too small. He wants to pack those 5
shows that are on the air with every favor he can
pull. Big names like Aerosmith and Foo Fighters. He
wants it to be all bands, not celebs. My ideas,
although well liked, seemed almost inconsequential. My
symbolic premonition was dead-on: I was slapped
in the face with a freezing cold, harsh
truth...
...of course
I haven't the fuckiest idea what that truth is.
LOL. I don't understand this, I don't see the business
model, I don't see how this gets budgeted (as he
doesn't have that power, we have to pitch to others)
and I have a completely negative feeling about
this. However, I won't be involved in the pitches,
Steve and Vinnie are using the DVD I made,
which means - my feelings on all this don't really
hamper the progress of this. I now wait until
they get the money and the focus on those 5 shows. 5
shows I don't believe will ever see the air of CBS
Network television.
Why? We're
completely circumventing Worldwide Pants for some
reason. Letterman and Worldwide Pants OWN latenight.
Nothing goes on with out Letterman's approval. Not 5
shows, not 5 minutes. When I asked about them, he said
- "Oh unless Dave or Worldwide Pants discover
you...you're never getting that slot. Andy Kibler
would get it before you" (a comedian Letterman likes
and has on his show quite often.) My reply was then:
"Let's make them discover me" I'm a nobody - why taint
the timeslot with a 5 night advertisement for an
internet show (which still makes zero sense to me),
let's go through the proper channels. He's certain it
won't work that way - and this is the only way
anything will ever get done. He is the head of
CBS latenight, if that's what he says,
I have no other options with CBS to get another
answer.
I'm curious
however, how the hell you can have that job for nearly
15 years and yet have no standing with the production
company that runs latenight? The mind reels at what
exactly that means. And of course, holy shit - what
changed? I wasn't hearing things on the 10th when
Nanci told me that and something tells me, neither was
she when Vinnie told her. She talked about 6-8
stations at first, sell it to more affiliates,
ALWAYS a latenight TV show. So there is an
enormous communication breakdown somewhere. Over the
next several days I'm sure I'll find out.
After lunch we all
went to Friedman's office and Vinnie told the idea to
Steve and Steve said: "That's great!" Now they
move onto budgeting and sponsorships, working on the
owned and operated affiliates (13) getting the "favor"
of 5 nights on some week in the summer, and pulling
off more favors with these enormous rock bands. I
gotta tell the truth, it all sounds like a pipe-dream.
No one in their right mind would fund this idea for an
absolute NO-NAME. Not with it ending up on the
internet. And Aerosmith is not playing Up & Adam.
Come fucking on already. And there's no way we're
putting 5 shows after Fergusen without Letterman
approval. Granted, we can do it on a week when he's
dark maybe - but still. None of this makes sense to
me.
What does make
sense however, is the past 4 weeks need to be erased
from my memory. Not a time to find fault, or blame
anyone - I swear to you I think Nanci was
just as shocked as I was at this luncheon. She's
a lawyer, she knows exactly what she told me. But
either way, I have to try and forget all those
highs for the time being or I am literally going to
pull a Britney. I know I said "No matter
what the fate is, I'm alright" - but I knew that
this offer was life changing and it did change my
life. Going back to being happy about The Journey
(which this offer has completely locked) is nearly
impossible. The depression I'm gonna experience is
gonna get really, really deep if I don't... fuck who
am I kidding. I have to strip down to everything
emotionally to get past this. I have to go as low as
I feel, take in that feeling and wallow in it a
bit. Then I'll be able to start from scratch and be
happy about the little things again.
I mean, fuck, I'm
on national television tomorrow - I don't have
time to lock myself in this hotel room and lie in the
fetal position (which I will most certainly do
after the television appearence as it's still
12 degrees here). Hopefully I'll be able to talk with
Steve and Nanci tomorrow and get a few answers. That's
the real problem with all of this. I came out to
this praying for answers to all my questions that had
built up for 4 weeks... now there's more questions
than answers. Nothing is concrete, nothing is set in
stone - and I don't have an ounce of faith
in what Vinnie is describing to me. Steve always talks
about having to get the internet to funnel money
back to TV. There's no money in internet, it's
a necessary evil, the money is the ad revenue on TV.
So what the fuck is this model? The opposite. Oh
they'll be writing the checks for this in a
heartbeat.
I think I'm gonna
go anti-Britney. Gonna grow a beard and my hair.
Barack-obama-lakim stye. That makes no sense, but
I meant muslim and though Barack isn't muslim -
it's funny to replace his name in the "A Salom a
lakim" or however you spell it. Rule of thumb, if
you're explanation of a joke is 5 times longer than
the joke, you've failed as a comedian.
Why do
I still have a sense of humor today? Ahh yes, it
hasn't really sunk in yet. If the past is any
indicator - the true realization of how wretched this
is will hit me around May.
God this is
depressing. Here's to tomorrow...
Adam
The
video which was once funny, is now just
morbid. I was so nervous this morning that
I decided to play a trick on Marty to
get a good laugh. Told him they cancelled
and they weren't interested. At the time
it was hilarious. They hadn't cancelled,
they were interested. We laughed and
laughed. Now however... not too funny.
But, it's the appropriate Journey
video,
no matter how embarrassing to me
now.
