The
weeks have turned into days, have turned
into hours. The 81 degree day yesterday
has turned into 6 months ago. It is a
strange setting and the romantic in me
can't help but giggle at the foreshadowing
of being slapped in the face by the cold
bitter truth as I step foot in
Manhattan. However this city has always
been good to me so as all negative
thoughts have been lately, this one too is
fleeting...
...kinda. I am a
little apprehensive as we approach this meeting.
I have told everyone about this. It has
settled into everyone's consciousness and is a
foregone conclusion. Everyone knows what this can turn
into and no matter how much I try to remind
myself that nothing is final, I too get swept up
in the grandeur of it all. The thought of getting
anything even slightly negative in terms of news
tomorrow is sickening. It would be a devastation I've
never known. Making those calls...christ
I can't even imagine. The thing is, we all know
what I can do once I get the show - but we
all know how things disappear overnight. There's no
business like show business.
Of course it was
this day exactly 6 months ago that I got a magical
phone call and my life changed forever. All of the
sudden I was in this surreal journeyland where
everything worked out. Riding that wave has lead me
back to Manhattan, typing on my laptop in some swanky
hotel, and having a meeting with the head of late
night about getting my own show. A show that
he thought of and he named. In the
scheme of things, you can't ask for more than that.
I've also had the opportunity to prove to them what
I could do with the Egos bits every week and that
will serve as a bit of a "pilot" jumping a few of the
hurdles of my anonymity. I've been a member of the
CBS family for half a year now and they're
promoting one of their own. It all fits...
...but I'm still
antsy. I'm sick to my stomach, anxious, nervous,
stressed, FREEZING. Just trying to put everything out
of my mind. The freezing cold certainly has a way of
calming that fire...freezing that fire. Man, freezing
the fire is really what "making it" feels like. It's
periods where yur body is READY! RUNNING!
LET'S GO! But you have to turn it off. I wrote an
entry about it during America's Got Talent. You have
no choice but to wait even though your entire being is
running laps. This is not an easy industry.
It's quite apparent why people shave their heads and
go to rehab.
Well I'm done for
the night. I spent the better part of the past two
days stressing about this and turned that energy into
10 DVDs of Adam & The Egos for everyone out here
in New York. I edited all the kids out and made it one
long 40 minute bit at the request of Simon, then
figured...hey this would be a nice gift. It's also my
way of saying: "I'm kinda done doing all the work
here". LOL. "Here's a big commemorative disc of 'the
way things were'". Heh. Oh and there's all
THOSE questions too! The meeting at 2:30 with
Steve after the 12:30 meeting with Vinnie. What will
happen with Living Room Live, what capacity I'll
continue to do that in... AHHH.
Must try and
sleep. Remember to breathe. Stay
Warm.
