7:54 PM, Wednesday, November 4th, 2009:
For fuck's sake. Please do a YouTube search on "Sexy Girl". Can I link that? Lemme see, 'cause I'm sure as hell not embedding that shit here...
There. You don't even have to hit the videos. YouTube is FILLED with half naked girls, rubbing themselves all over the place - thongs so tiny, they're simply naked showing their ass. 30 second clips of nothing but grinding sex. My bit got taken down (with a violation on my account that after one more will get my entire account DELETED -- yes all 900 videos) because of this:
"Most nudity is not allowed, particularly if it is in a sexual context. Generally if a video is intended to be sexually provocative, it is less likely to be acceptable for YouTube. There are exceptions for some educational, documentary and scientific content, but only if that is the sole purpose of the video and it is not gratuitously graphic. For example, a documentary on breast cancer would be appropriate, but posting clips out of context from the documentary might not be."
Look at that search again. There are millions of gratuitous sexual videos online. My video had zero nudity, didn't even fucking curse - and though you could call it sexually provocative, it's like saying you're not allowed to wear black shoes in the NFL -- you walk on with black shoes and get kicked out, but 80% of the other players have black shoes on. You have to be consistent, and clearly (vagina youtube search) they are not. Three emails later, no responses. Forget the video, my account?!?! I was flagged earlier this year for a copyright violation because I included part of a Jeff Stryker video in the parody of him I did - he got pissed and complained. And that's what happened here. The Palin-bots complained, and they just took it down. Whomever made that choice, clearly didn't look into it - and for whatever reason won't return my emails.
9600 hits. That's what it was at after a day and a half. People have absolutely LOVED the bit. My plan of getting that thing viral was working perfectly - and I would've easily hit 50,000 if not more by the showdate -- and would have happily emailed the execs at Comedy Central a viral video hit that they would then see as part of my show later that night. Now? That's completely done. There was one bit of hope however: Atom Films. They're in conjunction with Comedy Central, they bought "Let's Bomb Iran" and this is perfect for them. In fact I couldn't believe I forgot about them when I uploaded it on YouTube. They could personally promote it for me and HELP me get the hits to impress Comedy Central...
(Annoyingly, they don't do HD, you can't embed their videos anywhere, and when I went to LINK it on Facebook? I can only use thumbnails of OTHER videos. ?!?! But again, if they personally promote it, they can knock the hits up)
...except they won't. ?!?! My contact actually acted like they simply didn't like the bit. Said they couldn't use it on TV (they have a show on Comedy Central ironically) because it's "borderline". ?!?!? One of their ORIGINAL SHORTS shows a hooker squirting a ping-pong ball out of her vagina and then her hooker girlfriend smelling it throughout the bit. What am I missing?!? Ahhhhhh yes. Politics. And then it hit me. This really has to be completely political. This is where I kinda start to lose it.
I'm not acting the way I'm acting in the bit because the woman is conservative/republican. Maybe I should have made that clearer in the bit. "Birthers" are not conservative. They are insane. Somehow, the media has equated the "birther/tea party" movement with right-wing. It isn't. And so in the minds of most - this is just a "liberal" bit. Mind blowing to me, and actually a little concerning just how Comedy Central may view it. How did this happen in our country? How did the smallest of minorities (which the "birther/tea party/glenn beck" movement is), get such a loud voice, that those that aren't really paying attention - just see that as "conservative". Therefore I have this wildly partisan bit? That's not a partisan bit people. If you don't think the "birther movement" is insane? you're not paying attention.
And for the love of fuck - it most certainly isn't CONSERVATIVE. BUSH wasn't CONSERVATIVE. The fragmenting of this country is just annoying as fuck. There used to be a time where we could ALLLLLLLLLLL laugh at the crazies. 'Cause we weren't so caught up in neat little labels. Whatever happened to crazy? Like, super-racist rednecks that are losing their minds right now because minorities are taking over? That's funny. Republicans should think that's funny. You can't change the cold, hard, truth that minorities will outnumber whites in a few decades. That's your country. It's unchangeable. And conservatives and liberals need to ostracize the loony fringes, not prop them higher.
It's like the 9-11 truthers. There, there's a liberal whack-job group. There are some holes in the 9-11 story, no doubt. I've brought several up, but there is a line that is crossed by the "truthers" that is so ridiculous that it blurs the real issues. You need to make fun of those people and discredit them, because they actually HURT the search for truth. Same with the "birthers". Obama's birth certificate, at one time, was actually an interesting theory. But it got so filled with racism, anger, hate... and was eventually so disproven - that all that's left are the fucking crazies. This isn't a democrat/republican issue as I'm NEITHER... it's a sane/insane issue.
But I'm afraid this bit got taken down for political reasons, and Atom also won't promote it for the same reason - 'cause the "sexual" line just doesn't hold water with all that's on both sites.
So I just said fuck it and put it on "Funny or Die" because you can embed, and the quality is slightly better.
I wrote to them to see if they'd "promote" it, but I haven't heard back - and now, the original hope of getting it "viral" before the show is just done. Oh well. I had it so well planned out, but really never thought in a million years it would get taken down. Still amazed at the reaction from Atom though... it actually makes me concerned about "FOUR" for next year. They seemed to really be on my side, but this was bizarrely "cold" from them.
Yet, if everything goes right with Comedy Central, that'll change instantly. So just add that to the pressure on that night. Heh.