1:01 AM, Wednesday, October 28th 2009:
Welcome to the most awkward entry of my entire life.
...wow is that possible? Let me think about this for a moment...
Yeah, gotta say, this experience is easily the most awkward, uncomfortable and in some ways most difficult thing I've ever done. It took a tremendous amount of belief in the finished product to continue to keep pushing it. This bit is the show ender for the Comedy Central show on the 12th (Adam's idea of political commentary) and I'm releasing it now to get buzz leading up to the performance next month. Let's fire it up, and then I'll let you in on just how nauseating this has been, and why I felt it was necessary.
Removed from YouTube (after close to 10,000 hits) on the 29th due to the bedroom scene. Picked up by Atom Films the following day.
Whew. Unlike anything I've ever done, and certainly "edgy". Also, very funny to me. Let me tell you what I was trying to accomplish with this...
I got the idea from a personal experience of going to someone's house I had met and talked to online and a "Where's the birth certificate?" sign was in her yard. That's where the similarities end, but it stuck with me. Running one day, I was doing the normal brainwashing necessary to continue to run even though I wasn't being chased... and I kept thinking about looking good naked. LOL. God this is embarrassing stuff to share - but is there any other reason for a grown man to run? Running fucking sucks. Period. Fuck being healthy, I'm doing it to fit a mold in Hollywood, no other reason.
So amongst this brainwashing was remembering the "birther" sign and it all kinda came together. In my head of course it had a bit more of a "grudge fuck" or "hate fuck" mentality to it. Kinda what almost every guy I know wants to do to Sarah Palin. And please don't misunderstand me if you've never heard those terms, this isn't RAPE (that belief comes up later, sigh) this is like make-up sex with your partner where it's a bit more intense 'cause you're not necessarily thinking of doves and rainbows. Uhm, 'cause that's what you think of during loving sex? ANYWAY...
As time went on, I realized this could be a really big viral video as well as something for Comedy Central. Guy makes a "birther" say things in bed that make her skin crawl, but then she finally admits she knew the truth all along and is secretly just scared. The more I thought about it, the more excited I got. It allowed me to be "edgy" but with sincerity. Listen, I'm not black (Dave Chappelle) and I'm not latino (Carlos Mencia). The ways I can push the envelope are somewhat limited. This idea is a little more risque than normally seen, and the political angle gives it weight. It shows Comedy Central the ability to appeal on several levels and of course that I'm willing to put myself out there.
The other part of this bit is, as I've mentioned in previous entries, to market me physically. There's so much going on in Adam & The Egos, it's probably the last thing that ever occurs to them... but this bit ends the night. It's also an "Adam" bit. After showing Ego after Ego, we hit the execs over the head with a dose of "Adam" and the role he plays. And although I'm being goofy in bed, hopefully someone somewhere finds it sexually appealing and I connect with the suits on that level. Call me arrogant if you will, but I'm treating this like a war. I am attempting to overtake the network - and I'm coming at them from every possible angle. The last thing I'm gonna worry about is how I may seem to those reading the "making of" entries. That's the point of this whole site - is to tell you the thought process as I go through it. Leave no stone unturned.
So now we have it all set-up, of course we're missing one crucial element: the girl. And welcome to Awkwardville.
Laura came to the rescue and found an actress for me, but there was some trepidation on it being "too sexual" for her, and in the end - it just didn't come off believeable. I mean, as you can see from the finished product - we're clearly not having sex - but the movements are quasi-convincing. It was completely uncomfortable for both of us with the first girl, and her friend was there watching to make sure it wasn't "too lewd", etc. Bottom line for somethign like this - you just have to let go, and then watch the footage and make choices from there. No other way it's going to work. I showed the footage to Laura, and we just both agreed it wasn't edgy enough...
So since time was of the essence? I used Facebook. The worst. I sent private emails, but still. Ugh. I filtered it down to everyone in LA, and proceeded to email every pretty girl (because the bit is specifically about right-wing girls being hot) explaining the situation. Yeah, nothing slimey about this.
SUBJ: completely bizarre message to send...
Hi ________,
Laura Adler (casting director here in town) and I are trying to find the perfect girl for a political bit about the right-wing "birthers" that will be part of my pilot for Comedy Central that is shot live November 12th. It's a slightly risque, but totally funny bit where instead of walking out of the house once I realize the girl I'm seeing is one of the right-wing nuts, I make her "tell the truth" while we're in bed. "Who's YOUR PRESIDENT" "WHERE WAS HE BORN", etc... I have already shot it with an actress (and I can link you to the private video on youtube if you're interested) but Laura and I both don't feel it's edgy enough.
If you've gotten this far, then you probably realize this is legit. I've included my demo so you can see I've worked on CBS and done a lot of cool stuff - this is a totally awkward way to cast for this, but if we can meet for coffee - I think you'll see this is totally on the up and up. It's just really important we nail this bit. I believe it makes or breaks my pilot.
Hope to hear from you!


Oh I heard from some of them alright. LOL. "DO YOU THINK I WAS BORN YESTERDAY?!?!". Thankfully those were at a minimum and the majority actually WATCHED the video, probably googled myself and Laura and responded with interest or just politely said they weren't interested. I set up meetings and in the meantime I reshot the bit with Sarah, whom I know and care deeply about. It showed. The first take we did was, well... I can't post it. HA. It was just a little too... real. I mean, that's what I wanted - to push the edge a bit... but it ended up not being funny. Oh I was marketable alright... as a fucking porn star. Jesus. Sarah was a little concerned about it being public considering she isn't even an actress, and I continued to look for other people.
The shittiest, meetings, ever. Like, you already know these girls are being bombarded with every asshole on the planet to begin with. They're kind enough to meet you for coffee, where you're going to proceed to explain to them just exactly how you need to grind into them to make this bit work. Shoot me in the fucking head. I felt like the biggest asshole on the planet. Most were very cool, but one meeting made me almost call off the entire thing.
I had uploaded the version with Sarah as well as the earlier version - to show the potential actresses the 2 ends of the spectrum. This poor girl watched the Sarah version in a coffee shop in Burbank and had to cover the screen as I sat there feeling like a guy running a VAGTASTIC VOYAGE website. Then when it was over? She said the girl isn't having fun, it looks a little "rapey".
My heart sank. First off, I just got done telling her how "real" that version was. So not only am I embarrassed that she saw it that way as an actor - holy shit, I fuck like a rapist!?!?!? See what I mean, this is the worst entry EVER. SO AWKWARD. So now I'm sitting there across from this girl that wants nothing to do with me, and all I can do is apologize and thank her for the comment. I watch it again? And SHIT - I see what she means. Talk about RUINING EVERYTHING. This isn't going to "sell" me. It's going to DROWNED me. All I need is some Comedy Central exec thinking I showed them a video of me raping some chick to make her tell the truth. NOT AT ALL THE POINT. The idea is that when people are in bed? They tend to be the most honest. Self-hating gay republicans anyone? So no matter what, I had to reshoot the bit - and most likely Sarah was gonna be the best bet. It meant I never had to have another awkward cup of coffee and feel like such a douche ever again.
So it was reshot with Sarah - with me being a goofball? And voila. It works. It is still risque, but you're too busy smiling at the audacity of it all to ever think of "rape"... at least I hope. It's uploading as I speak and I'll be brutally honest: I want this puppy over 100,000 views by November 12th. Might be tough, but I think it's possible. Definitely in the 5 digits. 'Cause on the 11th? I'm emailing the bit to every exec at Comedy Central so on top of everything else I'm showing them? They see someone who is also a viral/internet phenomenon. Throw in the world's longest running video blog? It just could be that everything is aligning for one special night in November.
For now, re-post this movie. Please, please, please. Put it EVERYWHERE. Digg it, Stumble upon it, please help get this some notoriety. I really do believe if this video is massive - and perfectly timed with the Comedy Central show? The rest is history.