12:37 PM, Wednesday, September 30th 2009:
Oh I mean it the way you think I mean it. It should make for some funny videos as I try to pull this off. Or in this case, don't pull it at all.
So my bum knee is finally starting to work itself out. I can now walk fairly normal and in a few days I should be able to go back to my running regimen. All things considered, should also be able to play 4-Square for the first day of shooting this Sunday. However this couple weeks of limping has really made me anxious to be active. Not sure there's a worse feeling than having the motivation to be active yet physically being unable to.
So I took on a push-up routine in the meantime (mom got me those "perfect push-up" thingees that spin - they RULE), and meanwhile literally dreamt about trying to beat my times running. Now throw in PLENTY of time before the pilot taping on November 12th? I am gonna be in the best shape of my life and I want to focus 100% of my energy on it. I'm so excited about not being hobbled by this knee injury I'm more focused and determined than I've ever been.
It was this renewed energy that reminded me of when Will Smith worked out for Ali, he said he abstained from sex (solo or otherwise) and I wondered if I could pull that off. Since I was 12, I've never gone more than 72 hours without, ahem, releasing. Could I pull off a calendar month? I know there's that Josh Hartnet movie about just this scenario (as well as the infamous Seinfeld episode), so I'm certainly not original, but I know I have a sex drive that dwarfs nearly every man I've ever spoken to... so this really is insane for me to even attempt. But I'd really love to funnel that energy into being active. If I focused all that sexual energy into working out? That has to pay dividends, right?
...or is the exact opposite true? I tend to "release" just so I can BETTER focus on things in my life. Won't I just obsess over the lack of it that I get nothing accomplished? And heaven help the poor woman around me when I "crack". LMAO. I can imagine some raising their hands at this moment. Haaaaaaaaaaaa. If I fail, I fail - all I really care about is looking my absolute best for this taping. Have I ever explained my thinking on that one?
Simply put, I am absolutely convinced that if those at Comedy Central see me as more than the "funny" guy, in one night I will cement a career. Meaning if I look as good as humanly possible physically, with everything I'm already doing with the actual show, etc... my value in the industry goes 5 different directions nearly overnight. Book deal, movie deal, music deal... it's crazy considering my penchant for anonymity these 10 years (lol), but it really is how the industry works. You break through in one area and suddenly, you're right for everything. So the asshole diva of "Live Adam" has to actually have that magnetism. It really has to be believeable. Live Adam gives a shit about abs... and gets the spotlight because of that. I have to be at my absolute peak. It's the one thing I actually control, and there is zero excuse not to be ready.
Certainly blurs the lines though doesn't it? 'Cause what the hell does that make me? I'm now more "diva" than I've ever been in my life. In trying to be right for this industry, I have kind of changed my make-up a bit. Though I still struggle with eating right/working out... hard to deny that I haven't done it pretty consistently the past few years. So whereas before I kinda cared, but never did much - now because of the struggle to make it I actually do care more about how I look and consistently do something about it. I have created a more self-centered existence that is now a part of me no matter what industry I'm in. So am I preparing for the character "Live Adam", or am I simply becoming more like him? At what point does Cameron feel more like acting? Bizarre.
So "I, Me, Mine" continues for another month and a half and I put even more of a spotlight on "my domain" as I try to abstain from all sex shared and solo for the month of October. And hell, honestly? I just want more ANGST for when I play 4-Square so I can beat the ever-loving shit out of everyone. I'm telling you, I want to win that goddamn show more than just about anything. It's so hard to explain unless you've played it, but every single person in it understands. You just know you should win every game because it's SO, DAMN, SIMPLE... yet you inevitably get yourself out and that is infuriating...
...just like this month may be. :-) My honest prediction? I can't make it past my birthday on the 9th. If I make it to the 20s, I'm home free.
PS - the 21st Century way of locking your dirty magazines away...
...I'm never pulling this off. LOL