Oh I mean it the
way you think I mean it. It should make for some funny
videos as I try to pull this off. Or in this case,
don't pull it at all.
So my bum knee is
finally starting to work itself out. I can now walk
fairly normal and in a few days I should be able to go
back to my running regimen. All things considered,
should also be able to play 4-Square for the first day
of shooting this Sunday. However this couple weeks of
limping has really made me anxious to be active. Not
sure there's a worse feeling than having the
motivation to be active yet physically being unable
to.
So I took on a
push-up routine in the meantime (mom got me those
"perfect push-up" thingees that spin - they
RULE), and meanwhile literally dreamt about trying to
beat my times running. Now throw in PLENTY of time
before the pilot taping on November 12th? I am gonna
be in the best shape of my life and I want to focus
100% of my energy on it. I'm so excited about not
being hobbled by this knee injury I'm more focused and
determined than I've ever been.
It was this
renewed energy that reminded me of when Will Smith
worked out for Ali, he said he abstained from sex
(solo or otherwise) and I wondered if I could
pull that off. Since I was 12, I've never gone more
than 72 hours without, ahem, releasing. Could I pull
off a calendar month? I know there's that Josh
Hartnet movie about just this scenario (as well as the
infamous Seinfeld episode), so I'm certainly not
original, but I know I have a sex drive that
dwarfs nearly every man I've ever spoken to... so this
really is insane for me to even attempt. But I'd
really love to funnel that energy into being active.
If I focused all that sexual energy into working out?
That has to pay dividends, right?
...or is the exact
opposite true? I tend to "release" just so I can
BETTER focus on things in my life. Won't I just obsess
over the lack of it that I get nothing accomplished?
And heaven help the poor woman around me when I
"crack". LMAO. I can imagine some raising their hands
at this moment. Haaaaaaaaaaaa. If I fail, I fail - all
I really care about is looking my absolute best
for this taping. Have I ever explained my thinking on
that one?
Simply put, I am
absolutely convinced that if those at Comedy Central
see me as more than the "funny" guy, in one night I
will cement a career. Meaning if I look as good as
humanly possible physically, with everything I'm
already doing with the actual show, etc... my value in
the industry goes 5 different directions nearly
overnight. Book deal, movie deal, music deal... it's
crazy considering my penchant for anonymity these 10
years (lol), but it really is how the industry works.
You break through in one area and suddenly, you're
right for everything. So the asshole diva of "Live
Adam" has to actually have that magnetism. It really
has to be believeable. Live Adam gives a shit about
abs... and gets the spotlight because of that. I have
to be at my absolute peak. It's the one thing
I actually control, and there is zero excuse not
to be ready.
Certainly blurs
the lines though doesn't it? 'Cause what the hell does
that make me? I'm now more "diva" than I've ever been
in my life. In trying to be right for this industry, I
have kind of changed my make-up a bit. Though I still
struggle with eating right/working out... hard
to deny that I haven't done it pretty consistently the
past few years. So whereas before I kinda cared, but
never did much - now because of the struggle to make
it I actually do care more about how I look and
consistently do something about it. I have created a
more self-centered existence that is now a part of me
no matter what industry I'm in. So am I preparing for
the character "Live Adam", or am I simply becoming
more like him? At what point does Cameron feel more
like acting? Bizarre.
So "I, Me,
Mine" continues for another month and a half and
I put even more of a spotlight on "my domain" as I try
to abstain from all sex shared and solo for the month
of October. And hell, honestly? I just want more
ANGST for when I play 4-Square so I can beat the
ever-loving shit out of everyone. I'm telling you, I
want to win that goddamn show more than just about
anything. It's so hard to explain unless you've played
it, but every single person in it understands. You
just know you should win every game because
it's SO, DAMN, SIMPLE... yet you inevitably get
yourself out and that is
infuriating...
...just like this
month may be. :-) My honest prediction? I can't make
it past my birthday on the 9th. If I make it to the
20s, I'm home free.
Adam
PS - the 21st
Century way of locking your dirty magazines
away...
