entry locked until 10.19.09
11:45 PM, Friday, September 18th, 2009:
At what point will someone take over? When will someone at least be the point guard so I don't have to play all 5 positions, coach and run the scoreboard? Just once in my life I want to feel a sense of support and strength around me - so I can focus on the art. Hell the art AND all the technical aspects. But have I had to "scheme" so long now, I won't even know how to let go? Christ, I'll worry about that when I ever have an opportunity to let go. 'Cause right now it's clear that I'm the only one who sees this situation clearly and understands how fragile everything is. Granted, I'm in this situation because of people helping me with introductions and whatnot, but I never get that sense that it's actually being "handled". You know? Like, if I took a breath, that it wouldn't all disappear. And it was with that understanding that 2 days ago I just said "fuck it" and called Comedy Central myself.
I was laying in bed when it just kinda hit me: 4tvs Productions is the production company for this show, period. Once it's picked up, etc... that can all change - but since I'm doing every aspect of it - and really Josh trying to get the budget from Comedy Central for me is really acting as a manager, I am producing it. Not Weller/Grossman, not 3 Arts; 4tvs Productions. And 4tvs Productions needs to know when the hell we can use the Comedy Central space. So the head of 4tvs Productions put a call into Gary Mann at Comedy Central asking about that. I emailed Josh (manager) that I put that call in and realized that I now have 2 people that are far too busy to return my call. LMAO. It then occured to me that the way to get things done in this town? Is collect VIPs. Have outstanding calls to everyone you can think of at every level at a company and at some point the law of averages will work out and someone will have to call you back.
And understand, this is not to get your foot in the door folks - I've already been promised the show! The door was opened - I walked the fuck in! Only to find 100 doors. It's bizarre. And the guy behind door #37 has the key to door #59 and so on, and so on, and so on... it's nauseating.
So on a whim the next day I called Josh for the 4th time to see if he got my email nearly 3 weeks ago. And this time? He answered. Said he saw that I put a call into Gary Mann, that he spoke with Jim and that they are looking at this pilot as an audition for them, so there's not gonna be a budget for it. So this is pilot-lite. Another hurdle, another stone. Fine. I understand that they're lowering the bar for this - as they just want to get a taste and that's honestly fine by me. Because that's been my M.O. my entire life. I knock it so far beyond what they were expecting that they have no other choice but to pick it up. The show I want to do may be one of the most ambitious concepts to pull off on television and I'm gonna do it by myself with my own money. Something Josh said in the first meeting I should never do. I'm sure I would be advised that the folks at Comedy Central just want an "idea" of what the show is gonna be like. Right. Are you high? To get to that level? Have that audience? Have that opportunity? JOURNEY VIDEOS have more hours of work in them than what I would probably be advised to put together here, so how the hell do I not go all out? Anyway - the point is - I don't give a fuck about the lack of a budget. I will mortgage my house, my future, my everything to make this blow them away because that's what I do. And simply put, I don't have a lot more time. I am not 2000 Adam.
The call ended with Josh saying he'd call Gary Mann and call me back in 2 minutes. That was yesterday and now it's the weekend. LOL. You're killin' me brother. I'm not gonna bemoan the game anymore. It is the game. I am in that game. I either play it and win it, or leave. You are treated like this for a reason, it is calculated, and it does mean something. Charlotte called you back immediately. Which situation would you rather be in Adam? Doesn't make it any less fucked up.
So the conspiracy theorist in me thinks Josh put the call into Gary so information flows through him and not directly to me. And as a manager, that's a smart move. When he saw I called him, that probably raised his urgency level to a 1.08 and he figured he should jump in. At this point? I just don't give a fuck. Get me on the phone with someone already. Let me go down there and check out the space. Let me talk to the people who will be running it so we can nail down the technical aspects of the show. And for the love of fuck give me a date for the live shoot. Oh and did you GET THE ONE SHEET?!?!!? LOL. Could there have BEEN a more appropriate name for that entry last MONTH!?!!? "One-Sheet to the wind". Goddamn.
Of course after sitting on this for a day I've now realized that the date is gonna come when I probably least expect it. It's gonna be dependent on all of these executives' schedules and I will need to be ready on short notice. My problem is however? I have to now sink my own money into this without a definite yes. I mean, let me think about this. Do I have a clear yes? Josh has had contact with them at least twice now, and they've continued to say they want me to do this - so what reason would it fall out now? If it hasn't fallen out with the Weller-Grossman debacle, why would it now? They're committing no budget, just an hour out of their day and the time at the space. Annnnnnnd they know 3 Arts is involved. So wow, I guess this is actually a bigger moment than I thought. This is gonna happen.
Man, you know what's gonna happen? Everyone is gonna keep quiet until Comedy Central jumps on this show. And then the floodgates are gonna come crashin' down. Weller-Grossman will jump back in, 3 Arts will want ownership - and I will have been the one who fronted all the money, and produced every second of the show. Then it will get messy. And if Comedy Central doesn't want the show... I lose it all. I don't have an agent, a manager, a show, a career... nothing. 'Cause no one will commit to me until someone commits to me. You need a deal to get a deal. You need experience to get experience. This fuckin' game is the worst.
Anyway, I've immediately started thinking about the apparatus for the TVs as it's where the expense is gonna come in for sure. I found the perfect thing - ready made... $1700 a piece. LMAO. And I need 2. So I'm gonna have to design and build something and am once again worrying about portability and using that part of my brain I haven't used in a decade. What would 4tvs be in 2010 instead of 2000? It's a fun thing to tackle. Ironically, guess where I went last night?
If that's at all familiar to you - you are a die-hard fan and I love you dearly. To most however, you may need to be refreshed on Entry #26...
This was my path to bring in my 4tvs set-up in March 2000 when I played several gigs at the infamous Barney's Beanery in Hollywood. It was insanely difficult back then and as I stepped back into this establishment nearly a decade later, I couldn't believe I even attempted it. So of course I grabbed my pocket cam to re-enact the walk through from all those entries ago. Looking now, damn - I really nailed that video from memory didn't I?!?! I think I'll always get chills revisiting the early "Journey" sites now. Every frame of the early videos feel like antiques to me now. I cannot believe I'm thinking about the 4tvs set-up again all these years later.
So hopefully I hear something next week on the timeline. But I'll be honest - I'm just gonna do this shit now. Set-up shooting dates and just have things in the can. I know this is going to happen, and I will not do this show half-assed. This is a very special moment in The Journey...
...just not sure if it's corky special or fat albert special.
PS - that can't make sense to any of you. Remember how the word "special" would swirl around in the 80s whenever they played a cartoon in primetime or something? I remember it always coming on before fat albert and gettign hella-excited because I loved Fat Albert. So... yeah - that's what I meant. :-)