9:55 AM, Tuesday, September 1st, 2009:
This isn't an story about a moment long ago when I sent my first text message. Some 5-Year Anniversary type entry. Inexplicably this is a story about... yesterday. Until yesterday at 6:18 PM, I had never sent a text message.
It's mind-boggling for me to even write that sentence, let alone what anyone reading it might think.
The truth of the matter was simple: 3 or 4 years ago when I got a cell phone that could text, the first day it was activated I was slammed with spam. I called Verizon and said "what the fuck?". They apologized and said I must have "one of those numbers" and said I could go back into the store and get a new number or block texting. I blocked texting 'cause not only did I never use it, I wasn't friends with any 12 year old girls <insert joke here>, so no one I knew used it...
...in 2009 however? I'm the most annoying person on the planet. 'Cause apparently no one talks on their fucking phones anymore in favor of carpal tunnel practice. I really don't get it. It really annoys me, and I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into this - but it was time. I couldn't afford to miss any more messages and the allure of having access to the internet in my pocket at any moment was just too much. So yesterday I upgraded to the LG EnV Touch and my father got the honor:
Thanks to years of gaming, texting with thumbs is kind of a breeze. For all the phone nerds out there, I went back and forth between a few. Too much bad press on the storm and I just couldn't see a good reason to pay so much more monthly for the Blackberry. This phone was the highest rated phone Verizon sold... so there ya go. I also really like the keyboard on the flip phones. My fingers are pretty big, so texting on a normal phone or a blackberry would just make me nuts. And on my Razr? Fahgeddaboutit. Never even attempted it. Duh, you already knew that didn't you.
It does feel slightly ridiculous to make an entry out of this considering how monumental the entries were last month, but it's just such a headshaker that someone as connected to technology as me could have put it off this long. I honestly wanted to see if I could make it to 2010... but the peer pressure just became too much. I will promise you this however... if we are eating dinner together - that bitch won't come out. If there's one thing I've learned in the past few years NOT having texting or email on my phone, it's that there is nothing more annoying on the planet than someone constantly checking their phone during a meal. If it's a phone CALL? I can understand seeing if it's an emergency, etc. and putting it back down - but reading every text or email you may get during that hour? You're simply not that important. You just aren't. 'Cause take it from me... the important people? NEVER fuckin' respond to your emails. LOL. They don't give a fuck. They read them whenever the hell they feel like it - and truth be told, have people to do THAT. So you want to act important? Don't even flinch when you hear the ding on your phone...
...'cause they'll wait. And thank you for the honor of waiting.
<rolls eyes>