7:22 PM, Friday, July 31st, 2009:
YAHOOOOOOOOOOOO. Randoms are like flushin' the toilet for me. So much shit builds up and... wow, that's incredibly disgusting Adam. It's a big cleanse so to speak... damnit. Uhm, I'm very happy to be able to tell all the little stories that have built up over the month.
1) Runnin' 'Round the World
Been puttin' this puppy together for a year. Fun...
It occured to me about halfway through this idea that there was that "Matt" dude (I think that's his name) that made a living actually dancing in different countries and this is actually quite derivative of that. The big difference of course is his ass got uber-famous for it and all props to him for that. It all started for me when I made the "Headlining Hope" Obama video last year and just thought the camera angle was interesting. Throw that in with some trips and you've got a fun little video. Life is art.
2) 5k a Day Keeps the Doctor Away
So I actually am running again. I kinda stopped my weekly runs in February and now of course have the super motivator in Comedy Central, so it's happening now no matter what. And that "what" happens to be the most ironic fact of all: I abhor running. With a passion that rivals things I passionately love. It never feels good, I always want to stop, every second I'm moving requires intense mental brainwashing to forget the misery I'm in... but it works. Like, nothing kicks your ass into gear like jogging. I've done it for a couple weeks now and not only is the weight coming off, I just look and feel better. But I bring up my hatred to remind everyone that it's not a good excuse to use. If you want to get in shape, you just do it. I TOO hate those bastards that run with a smile on their face and look like they're in some sort of personal nirvana. Fuck all of them. But there is absolutely no way I'm not in the shape of my life for that pilot.
3) Centered Universe
I can barely describe what it feels like to know you're getting your shot, that what you're going to show them is something no one has ever attempted before, and that it will change your life. I am at the absolute peak right now and as you can imagine am itchin' like CRAAAAAAAZY to get goin on producin' this thing. But there's no anxiety at all. Jim Sharpe's jaw is gonna drop. It will have taken over ten years to put this show together - and that's not an exagerration. Nearly everything I went through to get 4tvs off the ground is going into this show and they want this to work. It's perfect. It's as centered as I've ever felt. It's why all negative energy is almost instantly turned into something productive...
4) Drown, Drown, Drown, Drown
Good. Fucking. Song. Far more dramatic than I really felt about that situation, but it's catchy as hell and it makes me want to produce a real album sooooooooooo bad. It kind of saddens me that everyone is gonna think: "Oh, the comedian is trying to make a serious song?", but I don't think it could have ever been the other way around. Making it in music first these days... just a miserable path. But believe me, it's in my brain nearly every day. Let them Drown is a single. And produced right? Could easily be a pop/dance genre. And really redefine that genre come to think of it. So many ways to go... but the catalyst will be this show. It all comes once that door is opened.
5) The kid IS his son

Not sure if any of you have been followin' this, but you're lookin' at Michael Jackson's kid. Apparently he had a "secret love child", Omer Bhatti, 25 years ago and amazingly, hardly hid it. Kid was with him all the time, was in videos, even lived at Neverland Ranch in 2003. Anyway, I would usually totally disregard this story - but then I saw the kid's eyes. MJ's eyes are actually a tad bit too far apart... and this kid has the exact same eyes. Lips are actually very similar (hard to tell especialy since even druing Thriller, MJ had surgery) but then...

...you see this kid move and hear him speak? Whew. AND the kid is trying to deny it and has been this whole time. So it's not like he's making up that voice to be more like Michael. But goddamn it blows my mind how well he can dance. 'Cause none of the Jacksons could pull that off like Michael - and Omer has moves that seemingly surpass MJ.
Anyway - Joe Jackson confirmed it, but he's a total media whore like La Toya and you should never trust a word he says. But, trust the eyes. That's his kid... and when it comes out, he's gonna be HUUUUUUGE. Crazy.
6) Speaking of Craaazy...
The birthers aren't all crazy. And this isn't completely a racism issue.
Yeah, I said it. Now, the BIRTH of the "Birthers" movement? Fuckin whackjobs. No doubt. Racist, conspiracy-theorist, hillbillies. I'm not refuting that. What I have an issue with is how the LEFT is treating them. Like it's soooooooooooo glaringly obvious he's a citizen, like it's soooooooooooo outrageous to even question it. It isn't completely outrageous to have questions about it. He spent a good deal of his childhood overseas, his father was Kenyan and you're talking about a state that had just barely joined the union and isn't part of the continental US. It's kinda compelling really. All that being said, the man really has provided everything he possibly could to prove it. Factcheck.org went TO Hawaii and actually touched a physical copy. None of that really matters though and that's what the left seems to dismiss. I watched Chris Mathews grill G. Gordon Liddy about all the people that would have to be in on it:  "Do you think MICHELLE OBAMA is lying? Do you think DAVID AXELROD is lying!?!?" Uhm, Barack wouldn't really know the truth. How could he? Any idea how hard people from other countries want to be citizens of the US? How badly they want their children to have US birth certificates? The left is acting like it's impossible to even CONCEIVE that anyone would conspire to make him a US citizen like they had the presidency in mind. Come on people. Anyone can send in a birth announcement to the papers, and it doesn't seem outrageous to think you could get a health official or two to make it official.
Now with all that being said? Guess what. It doesn't matter. Obama has every single piece of evidence that he is a citizen as any of us do. If there was a conspiracy? They pulled it off. It's an absolute non-issue. He has all the paperwork. But don't for a second think it's out of the realm of possibility that strings were pulled in a state that was only part of the union a matter of months. Anything is possible. The will of people all over this world to be a citizen of the US and have their children be citizens is greater than you can possibly imagine. Donna.
7) Obama Acted Stupidly
Although I loved every single moment of the press conference (as I mentioned in one of the entries), he made one glaring mistake: he acted human. He acted like one of us. He actually thought saying "I know I'm biased here" and "based on the facts I know" would mean something. They wouldn't and shouldn't. You're the fucking president man... and you just don't comment on something you know so little about. Even as he was recounting the Gates story, I noticed he told it differently than I had read about it. And Paddy can attest to the fact that the second it came out, I said point blank: "I side with the cops here...". The second Gates refused to show his ID when the cop asked for it, was the moment he lost me. Now, I understand the chip on his shoulder. I forgive that entire generation... it's the "Reverand Wright" generation and they have every right to assume a cop is fuckin' with 'em. But the bottom line? Cop was responding to a break-in and if the exact same thing happened to me, I would hand over my ID in a heartbeat. What else was the cop supposed to do to make sure it wasn't a criminal? Not only would I hand it over, I'd thank the cop for being so diligent. He's protecting my fuckin' house.
All that being said? I get the chip on his shoulder, I understand why he had attitude and I don't have enough information on what happened afterwards... but what really needs to happen here? People need to chill the fuck out. They just do, man. If we want to make progress with race? Both sides need to calm, the, fuck, down. We have to start giving the benefit of the doubt on BOTH sides. Black people can't assume racial profiling instantly... forever. There has to be some compromise. It's gonna be hard, it's gonna mean rewiring your brain a bit, but it must be done. And Obama has to remember who the hell he is. He cannot talk like one of us and take a side on an issue like that without every piece of evidence. Now, the most recent "jungle bunny" email just might have saved his ass because that really, really hurts the integrity of the police force -- but the fact remains that as far as I've read? The policeman didn't act stupidly. If I'm proven otherwise, I'll be the first to say it.
8) That's Van Halen
Saw Eddie Van Halen at a Sushi Restaurant tonight on Ventura. Fun. Surreal really. I kept looking at his hands thinking: "Those hands revolutionized guitar playing forever...". And he looked... old. :-( But I gotta admit, it's really a fun thing to say: "That's Van Halen." And of course my pocket video camera comes to the rescue and I was able to get a few frames. I've mentioned this before, but current celebrities? Meh. I feel like we're all in the same boat at this point. But celebrities that were big when I was a kid in the 80s? Still gets me. Always will.
9) One more thing on Barry...
Uhm, the stimulus worked. The stimulus that the BUSH administration started? The one that Obama continued? It worked. The economy stabalized just like the economists said it would. Unemployment won't start rebounding until next year, but we're moving in the right direction. So stop your bitching, stop your Obama bashing - this wasn't a SOCIALIST MOVEMENT. People who say shit like that are morons. Economic stimulus is how you keep the country from falling into a depression. It isn't a left or right thing, it's an economic thing. Open a fucking book. I mean seriously? Polls are still coming out that say people disapprove of the stimulus bill. (sigh). I'm about as "government, hands off" as you can get... but you have to be a realist. We were in a goddamn freefall. The appropriate steps were taken, and we're moving in the right direction. And it's happening on Obama's watch, and he has every right to take credit for it. Even if Bush or McCain would have done the exact same thing. If you're gonna shit on 'em when it's bad, you gotta hand it to them when things come around. Or you don't. You can just say he was born in a hospital in Mombasa. :-)
10) Mole No
And in one week, the infamous nose mole that was, will be no more. And unfortunately it won't be from my "Kontras Klip" invention.... so there's all those millions gone. :-) No, Ann Walker has introduced me to her plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills and he officially freaked me out enough to have it removed... and not by a dermatologist. It needs to be completely taken out by the root, and sent to a lab. Though rare, if it is cancerous they would have to remove my whole friggin' nostril. Good times. (sigh). As a favor to Ann he's giving a super-discount and now we just cross our fingers that everything comes back alright and all I'm left with is a slight little scar on the side of my nose. It's good we're doing it now, because it has grown considerably in the past 10 years and the more I wait the bigger the scar I guess... but although vanity-wise I never cared about it, I'm not a big fan of my entire nostril having to be reconstructed. Christ. Well, more fodder for The Journey right? Surgery is next Thursday. I get Valium. Awesome.
Alright, there absolutely has to be news next week on the contract stuff... otherwise my "centered-ness" is gonna start spinnin' a bit.