YAHOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Randoms are like flushin' the toilet for me. So much
shit builds up and... wow, that's incredibly
disgusting Adam. It's a big cleanse so to speak...
damnit. Uhm, I'm very happy to be able to tell all the
little stories that have built up over the
month.
Whew.
1) Runnin' 'Round
the World
Been puttin' this
puppy together for a year. Fun...
It occured to me
about halfway through this idea that there was that
"Matt" dude (I think that's his name) that made a
living actually dancing in different countries
and this is actually quite derivative of that. The big
difference of course is his ass got uber-famous for it
and all props to him for that. It all started for me
when I made the "Headlining Hope" Obama
video last year and just thought the camera angle was
interesting. Throw that in with some trips and you've
got a fun little video. Life is art.
2) 5k a Day Keeps
the Doctor Away
So I actually
am running again. I kinda stopped my weekly
runs in February and now of course have the super
motivator in Comedy Central, so it's happening now no
matter what. And that "what" happens to be the most
ironic fact of all: I abhor running. With a
passion that rivals things I passionately love.
It never feels good, I always want to stop, every
second I'm moving requires intense mental brainwashing
to forget the misery I'm in... but it works. Like,
nothing kicks your ass into gear like jogging. I've
done it for a couple weeks now and not only is the
weight coming off, I just look and feel better. But I
bring up my hatred to remind everyone that it's not a
good excuse to use. If you want to get in shape, you
just do it. I TOO hate those bastards that run with a
smile on their face and look like they're in some sort
of personal nirvana. Fuck all of them. But there is
absolutely no way I'm not in the shape of my
life for that pilot.
3) Centered
Universe
I can barely
describe what it feels like to know you're getting
your shot, that what you're going to show them is
something no one has ever attempted before, and that
it will change your life. I am at the absolute
peak right now and as you can imagine am itchin' like
CRAAAAAAAZY to get goin on producin' this thing. But
there's no anxiety at all. Jim Sharpe's jaw is gonna
drop. It will have taken over ten years to put
this show together - and that's not an exagerration.
Nearly everything I went through to get 4tvs off the
ground is going into this show and they want this to
work. It's perfect. It's as centered as I've ever
felt. It's why all negative energy is almost instantly
turned into something productive...
4) Drown, Drown,
Drown, Drown
Good. Fucking.
Song. Far more dramatic than I really felt about that
situation, but it's catchy as hell and it makes me
want to produce a real album sooooooooooo bad. It kind
of saddens me that everyone is gonna think: "Oh, the
comedian is trying to make a serious song?", but I
don't think it could have ever been the other way
around. Making it in music first these days... just a
miserable path. But believe me, it's in my brain
nearly every day. Let them Drown is a single. And
produced right? Could easily be a pop/dance genre. And
really redefine that genre come to think of it. So
many ways to go... but the catalyst will be this show.
It all comes once that door is opened.
5) The kid
IS his son
Not sure
if any of you have been followin' this, but
you're lookin' at Michael Jackson's kid.
Apparently he had a "secret love child", Omer
Bhatti, 25 years ago and amazingly, hardly
hid it. Kid was with him all the time, was in
videos, even lived at Neverland Ranch in
2003. Anyway, I would usually totally
disregard this story - but then I saw the
kid's eyes. MJ's eyes are actually a tad bit
too far apart... and this kid has the exact
same eyes. Lips are actually very similar
(hard to tell especialy since even druing
Thriller, MJ had surgery) but
then...
...you
see this kid move and hear him speak?
Whew. AND the kid is trying to deny it and
has been this whole time. So it's not like
he's making up that voice to be more like
Michael. But goddamn it blows my mind how
well he can dance. 'Cause none of the
Jacksons could pull that off like Michael
- and Omer has moves that seemingly
surpass MJ.
Anyway
- Joe Jackson confirmed it, but he's a
total media whore like La Toya and you
should never trust a word he says. But,
trust the eyes. That's his kid... and when
it comes out, he's gonna be HUUUUUUGE.
Crazy.
6) Speaking of
Craaazy...
The birthers
aren't all crazy. And this isn't completely a racism
issue.
Ahem.
Yeah, I said
it. Now, the BIRTH of the "Birthers" movement?
Fuckin whackjobs. No doubt. Racist,
conspiracy-theorist, hillbillies. I'm not refuting
that. What I have an issue with is how the LEFT is
treating them. Like it's soooooooooooo glaringly
obvious he's a citizen, like it's soooooooooooo
outrageous to even question it. It isn't completely
outrageous to have questions about it. He spent a good
deal of his childhood overseas, his father was Kenyan
and you're talking about a state that had just barely
joined the union and isn't part of the continental US.
It's kinda compelling really. All that being said, the
man really has provided everything he possibly could
to prove it. Factcheck.org
went TO Hawaii and actually touched a physical copy.
None of that really matters though and that's
what the left seems to dismiss. I watched Chris
Mathews grill G. Gordon Liddy about all the people
that would have to be in on it: "Do you think
MICHELLE OBAMA is lying? Do you think DAVID
AXELROD is lying!?!?" Uhm, Barack wouldn't
really know the truth. How could he? Any idea
how hard people from other countries want to be
citizens of the US? How badly they want their children
to have US birth certificates? The left is acting
like it's impossible to even CONCEIVE that anyone
would conspire to make him a US citizen like they
had the presidency in mind. Come on people.
Anyone can send in a birth announcement to the papers,
and it doesn't seem outrageous to think you could get
a health official or two to make it official.
Now with all that
being said? Guess what. It doesn't matter. Obama has
every single piece of evidence that he is a citizen as
any of us do. If there was a conspiracy? They pulled
it off. It's an absolute non-issue. He has all the
paperwork. But don't for a second think it's out of
the realm of possibility that strings were pulled in a
state that was only part of the union a matter of
months. Anything is possible. The will of people all
over this world to be a citizen of the US and have
their children be citizens is greater than you can
possibly imagine. Donna.
7) Obama Acted
Stupidly
Although
I loved every single moment of the press
conference (as I mentioned in one of the
entries), he made one glaring mistake: he acted human.
He acted like one of us. He actually thought saying "I
know I'm biased here" and "based on the facts I know"
would mean something. They wouldn't and shouldn't.
You're the fucking president man... and you just don't
comment on something you know so little about. Even as
he was recounting the Gates story, I noticed he told
it differently than I had read about it. And
Paddy can attest to the fact that the second it came
out, I said point blank: "I side with the cops
here...". The second Gates refused to show his ID when
the cop asked for it, was the moment he lost me. Now,
I understand the chip on his shoulder. I forgive that
entire generation... it's the "Reverand Wright"
generation and they have every right to assume a cop
is fuckin' with 'em. But the bottom line? Cop was
responding to a break-in and if the exact same thing
happened to me, I would hand over my ID in a
heartbeat. What else was the cop supposed to do to
make sure it wasn't a criminal? Not only would
I hand it over, I'd thank the cop for being so
diligent. He's protecting my fuckin'
house.
All that being
said? I get the chip on his shoulder, I
understand why he had attitude and I don't have enough
information on what happened afterwards... but what
really needs to happen here? People need to chill the
fuck out. They just do, man. If we want to make
progress with race? Both sides need to calm, the,
fuck, down. We have to start giving the benefit of the
doubt on BOTH sides. Black people can't assume racial
profiling instantly... forever. There has to be some
compromise. It's gonna be hard, it's gonna mean
rewiring your brain a bit, but it must be done. And
Obama has to remember who the hell he is. He cannot
talk like one of us and take a side on an issue like
that without every piece of evidence. Now, the most
recent "jungle bunny" email just might have saved
his ass because that really, really hurts the
integrity of the police force -- but the fact remains
that as far as I've read? The policeman didn't act
stupidly. If I'm proven otherwise, I'll be the first
to say it.
8) That's Van
Halen
Saw Eddie Van
Halen at a Sushi Restaurant tonight on Ventura. Fun.
Surreal really. I kept looking at his hands thinking:
"Those hands revolutionized guitar playing
forever...". And he looked... old. :-( But
I gotta admit, it's really a fun thing to say:
"That's Van Halen." And of course my pocket video
camera comes to the rescue and I was able to get a few
frames. I've mentioned this before, but current
celebrities? Meh. I feel like we're all in the same
boat at this point. But celebrities that were big when
I was a kid in the 80s? Still gets me. Always
will.
9) One more thing
on Barry...
Uhm, the stimulus
worked. The stimulus that the BUSH administration
started? The one that Obama continued? It worked. The
economy stabalized just like the economists said it
would. Unemployment won't start rebounding until next
year, but we're moving in the right direction. So stop
your bitching, stop your Obama bashing - this wasn't a
SOCIALIST MOVEMENT. People who say shit like that
are morons. Economic stimulus is how you keep the
country from falling into a depression. It isn't a
left or right thing, it's an economic thing. Open a
fucking book. I mean seriously? Polls are still coming
out that say people disapprove of the stimulus bill.
(sigh). I'm about as "government, hands off" as you
can get... but you have to be a realist. We were in a
goddamn freefall. The appropriate steps were taken,
and we're moving in the right direction. And it's
happening on Obama's watch, and he has every right to
take credit for it. Even if Bush or McCain would have
done the exact same thing. If you're gonna shit on 'em
when it's bad, you gotta hand it to them when things
come around. Or you don't. You can just say he was
born in a hospital in Mombasa. :-)
10) Mole
No
And in one week,
the infamous nose mole that was, will be no more. And
unfortunately it won't be from my "Kontras Klip"
invention.... so there's all those millions gone. :-)
No, Ann Walker has introduced me to her plastic
surgeon in Beverly Hills and he officially freaked me
out enough to have it removed... and not by a
dermatologist. It needs to be completely taken out by
the root, and sent to a lab. Though rare, if it is
cancerous they would have to remove my whole friggin'
nostril. Good times. (sigh). As a favor to Ann he's
giving a super-discount and now we just cross our
fingers that everything comes back alright and all I'm
left with is a slight little scar on the side of my
nose. It's good we're doing it now, because it has
grown considerably in the past 10 years and the more I
wait the bigger the scar I guess... but although
vanity-wise I never cared about it, I'm not a big fan
of my entire nostril having to be reconstructed.
Christ. Well, more fodder for The Journey right?
Surgery is next Thursday. I get Valium.
Awesome.
Alright, there
absolutely has to be news next week on the contract
stuff... otherwise my "centered-ness" is gonna start
spinnin' a bit.
