11:56 PM, Tuesday, June 30th, 2009:
This is a daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangerous month. I know athletes go through primes, musicians go through primes... I feel like I'm starting mine. I feel like I control my own destiny in a way I never have before. Pulling off a month like this? Forget just the 30 entries and videos, actually physically pulling off this much traveling, scheduling... with ONE CARRY-ON BAG. LOL. It just makes me wanna RISSSSSSSSSK some shit. How far can I jump? This is intoxicating. I believe we're all more powerful than we realize... and I'm actually starting to realize just what I can do. With the Comedy Central opening... fuuuuuuuuck. Shit is about to get crazy.
And in the midst of it all, a nice little "Part 1" of a worldwide Egos bit...
...and THE way to end this ridiculous month. I'm not even slightly exagerrating when I say this month will change the way I live my life forever. I would never think I was capable of 30 entries and 30 videos in 30 days while doing this amount of traveling. But I did it easily. And all this work... and on my own dime? Does anyone ever do this? I must be fucking insane. It's along the same lines of the last entry where even I step back and scratch my head at this much productivity. What the fuck am I racing against? How am I not tired? I mean, I'm ready to get home - but I'm ready to get home to do MORE WORK on an even bigger level! GODDDAMN when you guys hear the May 28th news, you're alllllllllllll gonna get it. Shit is ready to blow.
And you know what I'm even more proud of this month? Inspiring people to jump. To "fall up the stairs". I mean the jumps are all relative. Not everyone should leave the country for a month while they're kids go hungry... but in everyone's life there's little opportunities to seize the moment that just FLY by people. Things they really really want, but talk themselves out of. Simply 'cause they're scared to fail! Take it from the guy who has more public failures within these magic walls than anyone who has ever chosen to do this... nothing is worse than not doing. It's the infamous Mark Twain quote about looking back on your life. You're always more regretful about what you didn't do... then what you did. I guess I didn't realize it, but I paraphrased that in my "50 Years" reprise last year:
In 50 years I won't remember,
All the fire, all the embers,
All I'll know is that I jumped again,
I'll know life did not destroy my heart,
It's always been strong from the start,
And when it's time, it will be there to lend...
That's what not fearing failure gives you. The ability to actually enjoy the jump no matter the outcome. That's how you cheat failure. Jesus, this is a book isn't it.
And then a month like this? Days so filled I have to do 2 entries in a day. Believe me, that shit is gonna STOP when I get home. LOL. I would like to actually sleep again. But I am literally, figuratively and most definitely creatively - on top of the world.
And you know what? These are actually the hardest entries to share. It's not the personal sutff. It's the arrogant stuff. That's the stuff you want to keep to a minimum because it looks soooooooooo bad when shit fails. You want to look reserved, cautious and wise -- but that's not the truth. I'd be an absolute liar if I didn't write this final entry in June and say: "LOOK AT HOW HUGE MY BALLS ARE." 'Cause that's exactly how I feel. How could I feel anything less? And how disengenuous of me would it be to hold that in? I'm a big boy, I take my lumps when this sort of bravado gets bitch slapped. I show you that side. Those tears, those gut-wrenching videos and moments... so you'd better believe I'm showin' this.
Thank you June 2009. What a wonderful kick-off the rest of my life.