1:55 PM, Wendesday, June 24th, 2009:
For a storyteller, nothing beats a foreign country. I can't walk 10 feet without something that piques my curiosity. Like the dying man next to me.
1) The foulest stench is in the air...
I just have no other word for what I'm smelling right now other than death. I have smelled so many bad things in my life - but this old man who was carefully placed a few seats down from me by most likely his son smells so bad that I lasted maybe 15 seconds before I got shampoo out of my bag, squooooshed a bit on my fingers and rimmed the lining of my nostrils with it. In fact, hang on a second as I re-apply it.
Sweet, sweet holy hell. I'm in the lounge section of the boat on my way back to Athens because it has power, but this man's rotting corpse could probably power my laptop by itself. Children are crying when they walk past him. My eyes burn. I'm shutting down my computer and moving outside. Christ.
2) Boats. Fun.
This is now my 4th trip on a passenger boat and ya know - it's kinda fun. It's incredibly smooth and the lounge area (BARRING DEATH) is really luxurious. However it's curious how quickly the view becomes commonplace and you're more focused on where you're going and when you'll get there. What's really cool? Is you can drive your car onto this thing and then drive it off when you get to the island. I mean, I guess I knew that - but when you see it in the normal to-and-fro of life here, it strikes you as really cool. Dozens of trips every day through the busy Aegean Sea.
3) The Ocean is Always Bluer.
That's the sad truth about "Paradise Views". It's only paradise 'cause you don't see it everyday. You can only gasp so many times at how blue and clear the water is, how gorgeous the islands look... before your mind wanders to other places. However it's just enough time to make me go back to Los Angeles and look at the ocean and think: "Uhm, no. This isn't really a beach..." I will miss the hell out of it when I leave, I'm certain, but you spend enough time talking to locals and they're dying to trade places with you. One of the girls who ran the bar/restaurant/hotel wanted to be in Hollywood and could care less about the idyllic setting 'cause all it meant was her ass had to work. The Ocean's always bluer. Heh. I like that. I'm renaming the random now.
4) Purty Smart

Say what you want about their 1990's TV sets but whoever designed the doorknob was purty smart. The door can't close without the key in it and therefore you can never lock your keys in the room. All the fancy card readers in the states couldn't keep my dumbass from locking myself out of my hotel in NY back in '06 (and somehow keeping the camera INSIDE RUNNING. LOL. And here's the link. Heh. It's crazy to have your entire life a link away sometimes...

5) Nevermind.
So the bathrooms in the hotel have vents that point out into the hallway. Guess what the hallway smells like? So strike everything I just said about the genius of the designer of this place. I'm fairly certain it was dumb luck that he bought those door locks.
6) Topless Beaches. :-(
This was not what my imagination promised me in my dreams. The truth of the matter is, the only women that take their tops off, are the ones that have long since stopped caring about how those water socks look. Which means walking past them does indeed illicit a double-take, but for all the wrong reasons. Maybe it's just this island in Greece, but at the moment I'm very angry with my preconceived ideas. Bastards.
7) NO.
Just fucking no. Why on EARTH would you cut a male swimsuit like this. Women can't find this attractive, and he put this on and thought:  "Alright, lookin' gooooooooood."??? really? That's the side of his NUT. And it goes to his STERNUM. Why not just make it a onesy and get it over with? I literally laughed out loud when I saw him. I pull out my camera and look around - and no one else is even aware of this. I know MY friends will find it funny. :-)
8) Oh this kinda sucks.
Boat just started swaying like CRAZY. How do you level THAT shit out when you're driving something this big? UGGGGGGGH - this is making me sicker than the rotting old man in the lounge. Yech.
9) Boats. Not Fun.
This is now my 4th trip on a passenger boat and ya know - it kinda sucks. LMAO. Turbulance on a plane is at least a bit less predictable so you just deal with the bumps. With a boat this size the repetitive nature of the swaying really gets ya wooozy... maybe it's 'cause I'm on the outside on the edges. May have to brave the lounge away from old man liver damage.
Screaming babies, ugh. Death, babies and swaying - boats suck ass. Get me back to Athens.
10) Netless Tennis?
What the hell are the rules to this game? I used to think people just like hitting a ball back and forth - but these dawgs were playin'. For 2 hours. Divin', weavin', spinnin'... but there are no lines in the sand... no markers. And it's not like they're trying to see how long the volley can go - because they straight up SLAM that shit at each other. Anyone who knows feel free to pass that info onto me. 'Cause from my vantage point this game looks stupid as hell. However, I realize that I'm the stupid one for not knowing.
11) Like, bathtub clear
Ya know, all this really does is just make any other beach I could go to seem like complete ASS. That's why I had to put that shot in the video of me picking up the rock. It is soooooooooooo gorgeous, so clear, and just... absolutely perfect. What the hell are we swimming in in California? I mean, it really makes me wonder. 'Cause if this is what it's supposed to look like - then something is certainly fuggin' up the water in LA... and everywhere else I've ever been come to think of it. Just breathtaking.
12) Lavendar Love
As are these cool little things on the rocks? It's like sitting on the most comfortable couch cushions ever. You're stepping on a rock, and then you find a bunch with this type of moss on it and you go: "AHHHHHH"... wait, that looks like it hurts. Uhm, "ahhhhhhh". Better. 'Cause really it feels like you're floating all the sudden. If I had an underwater bed, this would so be my pillow.
14) The video
So many little random things I could show ala the Paris, Frandoms entry, but I have to be a bit more creative than that:
Man that water is gorgeous. Man that bathing suit is not.
15) The shirt
After allllllllllllllll that in Entry #916, I never bought the shirt. LMFAO. I couldn't find it! Don't act like I all regressed or some shit after my huge revelation. Just 'cause the dude was on the boat GOING to the island doesn't mean his ass bought it there. But I just find it funny that it meant so much to me and in the end I didn't get it...
...of course I didn't really look for it too hard. You know it could also be that I just don't give a shit about fashion. Feel free to self-edit #916 right now 'cause in actuality I probably never denied myself any shirts because they didn't help my career - I just have bad taste.