For a storyteller,
nothing beats a foreign country. I can't walk 10 feet
without something that piques my curiosity. Like the
dying man next to me.
1) The foulest
stench is in the air...
I just have no
other word for what I'm smelling right now other than
death. I have smelled so many bad things in my
life - but this old man who was carefully placed a few
seats down from me by most likely his son smells so
bad that I lasted maybe 15 seconds before I got
shampoo out of my bag, squooooshed a bit on my
fingers and rimmed the lining of my nostrils with it.
In fact, hang on a second as I re-apply
it.
Sweet, sweet holy
hell. I'm in the lounge section of the boat on my way
back to Athens because it has power, but this man's
rotting corpse could probably power my laptop by
itself. Children are crying when they walk past him.
My eyes burn. I'm shutting down my computer and moving
outside. Christ.
2) Boats.
Fun.
This is now my 4th
trip on a passenger boat and ya know - it's kinda fun.
It's incredibly smooth and the lounge area
(BARRING DEATH) is really luxurious. However it's
curious how quickly the view becomes commonplace and
you're more focused on where you're going and when
you'll get there. What's really cool? Is you can drive
your car onto this thing and then drive it off when
you get to the island. I mean, I guess I knew
that - but when you see it in the normal to-and-fro of
life here, it strikes you as really cool. Dozens of
trips every day through the busy Aegean
Sea.
3) The Ocean is
Always Bluer.
That's the sad
truth about "Paradise Views". It's only paradise
'cause you don't see it everyday. You can only gasp so
many times at how blue and clear the water is, how
gorgeous the islands look... before your mind wanders
to other places. However it's just enough time
to make me go back to Los Angeles and look at the
ocean and think: "Uhm, no. This isn't really a
beach..." I will miss the hell out of it when I
leave, I'm certain, but you spend enough time talking
to locals and they're dying to trade places with you.
One of the girls who ran the bar/restaurant/hotel
wanted to be in Hollywood and could care less about
the idyllic setting 'cause all it meant was her ass
had to work. The Ocean's always bluer. Heh.
I like that. I'm renaming the random
now.
4) Purty
Smart
Say what
you want about their 1990's TV sets but
whoever designed the doorknob was purty
smart. The door can't close without the key
in it and therefore you can never lock your
keys in the room. All the fancy card readers
in the states couldn't keep my dumbass from
locking myself out of my hotel in NY back in
'06 (and somehow keeping the camera
INSIDERUNNING. LOL. And
here's
the
link.
Heh. It's crazy to have your entire life a
link away sometimes...
5)
Nevermind.
So the
bathrooms in the hotel have vents that
point out into the hallway. Guess what the
hallway smells like? So strike everything
I just said about the genius of the
designer of this place. I'm fairly certain
it was dumb luck that he bought those door
locks.
:-)
6) Topless
Beaches. :-(
This was not what
my imagination promised me in my dreams. The truth of
the matter is, the only women that take their tops
off, are the ones that have long since stopped caring
about how those water socks look. Which means walking
past them does indeed illicit a double-take, but for
all the wrong reasons. Maybe it's just this island in
Greece, but at the moment I'm very angry with my
preconceived ideas. Bastards.
7) NO.
Just fucking no.
Why on EARTH would you cut a male swimsuit like this.
Women can't find this attractive, and he put this on
and thought: "Alright, lookin' gooooooooood."???
really? That's the side of his NUT. And it goes to his
STERNUM. Why not just make it a onesy and get it over
with? I literally laughed out loud when I saw
him. I pull out my camera and look around - and no one
else is even aware of this. I know MY friends
will find it funny. :-)
8) Oh this kinda
sucks.
Boat just started
swaying like CRAZY. How do you level THAT shit out
when you're driving something this big? UGGGGGGGH -
this is making me sicker than the rotting old man in
the lounge. Yech.
9) Boats. Not
Fun.
This is now my 4th
trip on a passenger boat and ya know - it kinda sucks.
LMAO. Turbulance on a plane is at least a bit less
predictable so you just deal with the bumps. With a
boat this size the repetitive nature of the swaying
really gets ya wooozy... maybe it's 'cause I'm on the
outside on the edges. May have to brave the lounge
away from old man liver damage.
Screaming babies,
ugh. Death, babies and swaying - boats suck ass. Get
me back to Athens.
10) Netless
Tennis?
What the hell are
the rules to this game? I used to think people just
like hitting a ball back and forth - but these dawgs
were playin'. For 2 hours. Divin', weavin',
spinnin'... but there are no lines in the sand... no
markers. And it's not like they're trying to see how
long the volley can go - because they straight up SLAM
that shit at each other. Anyone who knows feel free to
pass that info onto me. 'Cause from my vantage point
this game looks stupid as hell. However, I realize
that I'm the stupid one for not knowing.
11) Like, bathtub
clear
Ya know, all this
really does is just make any other beach I could go to
seem like complete ASS. That's why I had to put that
shot in the video of me picking up the rock. It is
soooooooooooo gorgeous, so clear, and just...
absolutely perfect. What the hell are we swimming in
in California? I mean, it really makes me wonder.
'Cause if this is what it's supposed to look like -
then something is certainly fuggin' up the water in
LA... and everywhere else I've ever been come to think
of it. Just breathtaking.
12) Lavendar
Love
As are these cool
little things on the rocks? It's like sitting on the
most comfortable couch cushions ever. You're stepping
on a rock, and then you find a bunch with this type of
moss on it and you go: "AHHHHHH"... wait, that looks
like it hurts. Uhm, "ahhhhhhh". Better. 'Cause really
it feels like you're floating all the sudden. If
I had an underwater bed, this would so be my
pillow.
14) The
video
So many little
random things I could show ala the Paris, Frandoms
entry, but I have to be a bit more creative than
that:
Man that water is
gorgeous. Man that bathing suit is not.
15) The
shirt
After
allllllllllllllll that in Entry #916, I never bought
the shirt. LMFAO. I couldn't find it! Don't act like I
all regressed or some shit after my huge revelation.
Just 'cause the dude was on the boat GOING to the
island doesn't mean his ass bought it there. But I
just find it funny that it meant so much to me and in
the end I didn't get it...
...of course I
didn't really look for it too hard. You know it
could also be that I just don't give a shit about
fashion. Feel free to self-edit #916 right now 'cause
in actuality I probably never denied myself any
shirts because they didn't help my career - I just
have bad taste.
