Ya know, this was
supposed to be just another one of the many randoms
for my next entry, but it's so overwhelming and
unavoidable... it gets it's own entry. And you must
know that I hate playing into any stereotype. I
pride myself on seeing different angles, and finding
"the truth" without bias... but mu-fuckas are rude as
SHIT here. LMAO. Like, comically rude to the point of
looking for a hidden camera 'cause this must be a game
show. And I actually speak some french! Took
years of it in school and that shit really does come
back... I was even translating for Ann at times,
but wow, just listen to some of this shit:
-Ann asks the guy
at the little convenience store what time he closes.
He huffs and points to the wall and walks away. We
both giggled a bit at that... 'cause clearly he
understood her - but couldn't be bothered to say it
(even in French). He actually seemed angry. Again,
first day - never thought anything of it.
-Getting breakfast
and the bill is $24. I put three $10s in the fold (all
the money I had in my wallet) and the waitress
takes it. A minute later she comes back with two $10s
like I never gave her three. What can you do? There is
no doubt, again - it was all the money I had in my
wallet, Ann saw me put it in, and we just looked at
each other and shrugged our shoulders and gave her a
$20. She totally swiped it knowing there was fuck-all
we could say.
-Cab ride was $6
and I handed him a $20 and he said "No change."
<rolling eyes>. He wouldn't even turn around and
look at me. It was almost a taunt. I knew this wasn't
goin' anywhere - so I just said "dix" (ten). He handed
me a $10 and we went on our way... I would've given
him $8 anyway (the minimum is $6 for
cabrides) but he got an extra $2 out of us. In
subsequent cabs I now actually know WHERE the change
is, and of course they have an ass-load of $2 and $1
coins. Duh. They're fucking cab drivers. How could
they not? I find it hilarious that within the
first 2 days in Paris I got ripped off twice, yet in
the entirety of kenya (where they have every reason to
steal) - nothing but kindness. Little life lesson
there.
-Speaking of
Cabbies... they don't know where SHIT is. Give them an
address? They look like you ordered a pizza from them.
Write it down and hand it to them? Oh mon dieu! They
act like it's painstaking. One dude actually
said: "This is a very big street". !?!?! And
ended up getting out of the cab, with the meter
running - TWO TIMES - to go into restaurants to
ask people where the address was. I mean, huh?
Just strolls into a restaurant, waits to speak to a
waiter, etc. Tick, tock, tick, tock. Never seen
anything like it. LOL.
-Go into a battery
store to get a travel power adapter. European outlets
are different than UK and Kenya (and obviously the
US). I said "Travel power adapter" and he looked at me
like I said: "I'd enjoy fucking your wife".
"Non Francais?!" "Non". "WHY!?!" he spits back. I'm
thinking: dawg - you're selling TRAVEL adapters
for people that are from other countries, how could
this possibly be annoying to you? And the thing was, I
was speaking the majority french, I just didn't know
the word for "Power" (Adapteur, Voyage & now I
know "puissance for power"). Amazingly? Another woman
in the store, embarrassed by HIM, translated for me.
When I got out side she made it a point to come
up to me and apologize profusely. "We have to treat
visitors nicer or they won't come back, he was very
rude". Not the first or last one mademoiselle, but
thank you whomever you were.
Of course there is
one thing I can do. I can play
"asshole" right back. I love The
Journey:
If your computer
can handle it (meaning it doesn't stutter once it's
loaded) click the "HD" button...
incredible.
That's actually
the name of the store: "Piles Expert". Here's
their
site, and
feel free to email them: aabis@noos.fr
- be sure to do it in english and link them to the
video. :-) Moving on...
-Go to order a
sandwich around 7pm at this little cafe. The sandwich
on the menu was called "Howard Burger" and I said that
was what I wanted and he said "Dejeuner!". Which means
lunch, so I assumed it was only a lunch item.
I responded with "Only Dejeuner?" - and he went
into english and said: "No I need to know
lunch!" I look back at the menu, and am baffled. Does
he mean lunch PORTION? At no time does he say lunch
ORRRRRR something... I point to the menu, it's a
PICTURE, and I say - "Je Veux" which just means "I
want" to which he replies: "I don't know how I
can make this ANY MORE clear" in
perfect english. What, a, fucknoise. I looked
at him, smiled and said "Merci, monsieur" and walked
out.
And that's the
amazing thing about it all: they don't give a
FUCK if they lose money. They would rather be
assholes. LOL. I've never known anything like it. I
have $20 in my hand, trying to give it to you - you
could give me ANYTHING and I'm not gonna bitch, and
you're finding ways to make it difficult. I don't know
of any other country that wouldn't find a way to get
some food in your hand to take your $20. I mean,
I used to think people in Manhattan were rude, but
they want your money. They're rude if you don't
have any, but if you hold out your wallet and try to
buy their shit? You're Donald fucking Trump. Oh and
this one has to take the fucking cake. I will
always love this story:
So we're at an
outdoor cafe having a drink and a little boy comes up
beggin' for money. Ann, being the bleeding heart that
she is grabs for her purse, and I shake my head. First
of all, the dude isn't homeless. The kid was heavier
than ME. Dawg was trying to buy a new VIDEOgame. But
she goes in her purse, had no change so I gave the kid
all the change I had. Probably a buck or two. He
leaves...
...and then
COMES THE FUCK BACK, with my change in
his hand, shaking his head because it wasn't enough.
The only way I can describe this kid's face, is to
make you think of The Sopranos. Imagine if Tony is in
the room when his kid says something rude to Carmella
(his wife). He'd go: "OOOOOOO." That's
what that little bastard looked like. "OOOO. What
the fuck? You call this change?" - and proceeded to
stand there the REST OF THE TIME
WE DRANK and said "Pleeeeeeeeease.
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease". I mean, how, in
ALL THE CITIES I've ever been to - all the
times I've walked the streets of Manhattan (hell I
lived there over a month in 2006) have I never
seen a beggar COME BACK as if to chastise your
generosity? I'm sure it's happened before, just not to
me.
And honestly, I'm
certain people have come to this city and never ran
into ONE rude person. Of course. But what kills me is
that I actually speak a good deal of french and at
this point, it's all REALLY coming back. I'm picking
up complete conversations the more I'm here and again,
I'm trying to GIVE AWAY MONEY. Honestly?
It's so funny to me at this point, I want MORE of
it. I'm in such a goddamned good mood - no one could
possibly piss me off.
Alright, Paris,
Frandoms next entry... just had to get that out of the
way.
