In
one audacious statement, a man completely changed my
life. In one challenge to jump, 4 years of depression
since my husband died were brought into focus and I
knew that all the second-guessing in the world
couldn't make this challenge go away. Where did he
come from? How did he know? Why did he think I'd
jump?
I
did.
He
looked me in the eyes and made me feel 30 years
younger. He saw someone I hadn't seen in decades and
dared me to remember. He woke me up. He made me feel
like a teenager with a crush when I was certain I'd
live the rest of my life as a mother and grandmother.
Now? I'm in Paris and can't remember being this happy.
I can't remember laughing so much. He is so far beyond
his years, he makes me feel like the
inexperienced one. I am alive again. I see my future
and it finally involves action, not reaction. However,
it's not without incessant insecurity...
It's
one thing living up to the standard women my age have
set in this industry, but this man is in his early
30s. He could have any woman he wants, why would he
put up with the stares we most certainly get? What
does he see in me?
He
is special. He is so pure of heart that he doesn't
care, or hides it really well. I'm not sure how I
won't fall in love with him. Who am I kidding? I have
fallen in love with him. How do we co-exist beyond
Paris? "Live this life for now" he wrote in a song
that made me cry for a night and then some, but the
"life for later..." can't escape my concern. I know I
must grab hold of the life I have left to me, with or
without his daily conversations. With or without our
dinners, talking over his and my daily lives. However,
the alternative is sitting at home watching "Dancing
with the Stars" with my dog, Precious, and watching my
life pass me by. For some reason I decided to believe
in his eyes and take this journey. His Journey. My
Journey.
And
now I am in Paris! With him. A man that I feel I've
known my entire life and I get to spend this special
moment in his life before his career goes into the
stratosphere. He has no idea what is about to occur...
and I get to show him a taste of that world. I get to
watch him enjoy the finest restaurants. I get to show
him how much he doesn't belong counting pennies,
though it's all he's ever known. I get to help him
understand just how rare his talents are and how far
he is going to go.
And
in return, I get to remember the woman I was years ago
and laugh with him and love him... for now. I am the
luckiest woman. I am Ann Walker. And I am in Paris!
