<Originally
written on pen & paper, transcribed on June
7th>
12:15 AM, Saturday,
June 6th, 2009:
What an amazing
day. I might as well just replace the pictures and
video and post the exact same entry from yesterday.
First up, I'll give you the video first, so you're not
skimmin' like crazy to find it. :-)
If your
computer can handle it (meaning it doesn't stutter
once it's loaded) click the "HD" button...
incredible.
How fun. It was
just such a fun/funny day. From planes to elephants to
hippos to me actually having an altercation with a
monkey who was stealing my banana. Africa.
Word.
Judy has
completely surprised both me and Linda with
her brutal sense of humor (she's giving me
shit in the picture for turning the camera on
myself). LOL. I try to explain "The Journey",
but it's a futile attempt to try and deny
narcissism with this project. Cute picture
though. I can hear her now "Look at you
coming all the way to Africa to take a
picture of yourself." LOL.
Alright, how 'bout
this:
We were seriously
so close to these elephants that Judy (who has been on
several safaris) was actually scared. Linda and I went
into journalist mode and were hangin' out of every
side of that van trying to get the best shot. The
driver actually started to move the car and Linda and
I flipped out! "WAIT!!" Judy said:
"IF THE DRIVER THINKS IT'S BEST TO MOVE.
TRUST HIM." hahahahaha.
It's
almost impossible to choose what to put in
this entry because simply every shot is
perfect when you're this goddamned close.
Actually, one of the elephant walking away is
my favorite...
Yes Barbara, that
screams for copy on the left and would make a good
cover for the Participant Newsletter. What have you
done to me woman? The 9-5 gig still rattles around in
my brain from time to time. :-)
We
actually came across something really
cool that we were hoping would turn into
more. These lions were right in our road and
were clearly hungry as you could see them
stalking down a warthog a good 200 yards
away...
...but
just a few feet away to our left was this
gazelle hiding like a mofo scared out of it's
mind. You'd better believe we ALL wanted to
see that thing get EATEN. I don't care how
cute they are, to be a few feet from a kill
like that? WOW. We were told by the driver
however that it could take alllllllllllllllll
day and we ended up having to leave to get to
everything else. DAMN.
So we stopped off
at this place, seemingly in the middle of nowhere, but
which housed an airport where the "rich people" fly in
for a safari. Kinda cool really. We had a pitstop here
and then on our way to see the hippos we picked up
this dude with a big-ass machine gun and it ended up
he was not going to kill us all. Splendid. Instead he
took us to one of the Tanzania/Kenya border monuments
which I was happy to stand on and strike a
pose:
"No
Judy, I'm not narcissistic, I'm simply the
Christ"
Hahaha. It's funny
how taking a still from a video changes the tone
completely. I was being goofy... but with the right
captions -- HA. Here:
"I AM WHITE MAN,
STAND BEFORE ME!". LOL. You could have a
ball with that one.
Anyway, the
military man with the big-ass machine gun took us
around to the hippos... which were surprisingly pretty
cool.
All just
chillin' on the bank of the river. Notice how
far away that alligator is? Smart Alligator.
These things would destroy him. Apparently
their skin is so slimey and fishlike from
spending so much time in the water that an
alligator can't get a good grip.
There's
some hippos behind me. We were actually
directly across from some, but I wanted to
show the angle of the river. Just as gorgeous
as you can imagine.
Throughout
the trip I've found myself just grabbin'
Linda's hand and thanking her. I would never,
ever, ever have come to Africa had it not
been somewhere she wanted to go. She kept
trying to get me to go to India where she
currently lives and though I knew I
wanted to take a big trip (to spur 2000 Adam
to keep going for the movie) India was NOT
where I wanted to go. She said Africa and I
jumped. I can't begin to thank her enough
because I've just had the time of my
life...kickin' monkey ass.
These little
thieves are everywhere. They're all over our
campsite constantly trying to take your shit. You hide
your money from these bitches, not humans. But I think
they're freaking adorable and get the biggest kick out
of them. That was before one ran right up to my lunch
and grabbed my banana with his mouth and both arms.
I proceeded to pick up the other end of it and
attempt to grab it away and ended up
PICKING HIM UP and starting this tug of war
while yelling: "Yo DAWG! No dawg, no! Gimme my
banana!" It only took me about 5 seconds to realize
how stupid this exchange was. All he had to do was
grab my arm instead of the banana and bite me,
give me rabies, and I die. So he won. Kinda proud at
him for having that kinda balls.
I later
gave his friend one just to get it on film.
What I would've GIVEN to have someone
capture the initial "attack". I must
have held him up and down 3 or 4 times before
realizing how incredibly moronic it was to
risk getting bitten. Fun shit though. But
seriously, they're everywhere...
...it's like we're
in Africa or some shit. :-)
As the day came to
a close, we were all beat. You'd think sitting in a
van all day wouldn't do that to ya - but it's really
intense. And also bumpy as shit. Ooh, lemme get the
lizard shot in here:
Cooooooooooooooooooool.
I think all those colors mean stay the fuck
away. So we all got as close as we could to
take pictures (sigh). People are
dumb.
Alright, it's
hella-late and we wake up at 6:15 to do the final day.
I still have a bunch of pictures left, but since
tomorrow is a half-day I should be able to squeeze
everything into the final entry. Oooh, and I'll be
able to do it on a LAPTOP. Pen & Paper is
romantic and all, but my handwriting blows, and now my
fingers ache since I haven't held a pen this much
since high school.
