<Quick
aside before any of you even think it: My actions
will always be positive and attempt to exploit
every possible angle to find a positive outcome
even if I'm aware of negative things. These entries
show how it feels. And I will not sit here
like some A&E biography and paint a rosy
picture of the bumps in the road to success.
I also won't try and brainwash myself with
constant positive thinking that ends up keeping you
from solving the problem by ignoring it. As I do
with everything, I treat it with logic... but
write songs and entries with my
heart.>
With that being
said, the hill just got a little steeper. In 2006, so
much stuff was going on I had to quit my job to focus
and within a month everything unravelled and I
was out of a job. I felt kinda like a boob.
Luckily a couple months later a call from CBS made
everything "ok" and the rest is history. Right about
now, part of me is cursing the "jumping inner child"
because a part of why I quit, Paradigm, is now (and
always was) contingent on Comedy Central. The badass
in me has no problem with that... I'm actually being
seen & heard so I have no problem
believing I will be judged fairly and this will
all turnout fine... but there's just enough of this
that's completely out of my hands that I am aware that
I may have made the 2006 mistake again. But man did
this situation write a catchy song:
If your
computer can handle it (meaning it doesn't stutter
once it's loaded) click the "HD" button...
incredible.
Seriously? This
may be the catchiest song I've ever written. It
tortured my psyche for days until I finally recorded
it assuming that would "get it out" and it only made
it worse. Once I added some little flowery
background parts it was OVER. I think I've listened to
it 50 times today. I'll include the
mp3 so you
too can try and fix the jones by "hearing it out of
your system". Good luck with that. Oh, and of course
the lyrics:
When you
know, what you know, what you
knew,
It's time
to go, time to flow, time to do,
You've
climbed for years, now you're nearin' the
top,
But life
just sneers as it cheers you to
stop.
I just
wanna float, down, stream,
But
Jesus all these stones stop my
dreams,
The
Journey keeps testin' me,
'Cause
Christ I wanna float,
downstream...
You know
you're close, another dose, and you'll be
there,
It's like
a drug to watch this rug just
disappear,
You feel
the mo, feel the ment, fell the
mum,
But once
you go, it's cement, it's the
numb.
I just
wanna float, down, stream,
But
Jesus all these stones stop my
dreams,
The
Journey keeps testin' me,
'Cause
Christ I wanna float,
downstream...
Now to make things
extremely clear, nothing has actually "shifted". Just
a lack of initial information and miscommunication
made me ever think otherwise. Paradigm was always
gonna be contingent on Comedy Central and it's a
product of dealing with an agency of that stature.
Same thing happened with Management 360 last year (wow
another entry I can unlock now... YAY), you've
got several people that have to agree you're a good
enough risk as a client and it can be tricky to make
those heads align. And honestly, even with some sort
of development deal with Comedy Central? They
still could disagree. Nothing is certain, and
I've been around long enough to know that. I just got
excited. :-) Rest assured however, I've already jumped
- there is no going back, I just need a whole lot more
pieces to the parachute in order not to break my legs.
First and
foremost, this meeting is a big freaking deal now.
Weller/Grossman and I need to have a clear
understanding of what we want to achieve and we must
be on the same page. I will never let something
in my control keep me from achieving success (which
explains these freaking white-strips on my teeth right
now) and since we're all going into this meeting
together... we need to be cohesive. There is
absolutely no reason this doesn't end positively, but
the stakes just got a little bit higher...
...and part of me
loves that shit.
Adam
PS - I know, I
know "mo-ment-mum" instead of "mo-ment-um" in the
song, but I took the "Lennon" route in that
lyric. The nonsensical version sounded better.
Goo-Goo-G'Joob.
