entry & video unlocked 05.14.09
12:12 PM, Thursday, May 7th, 2009:
The entry I've been wanting to write desperately for a year, has finally arrived. On the 10 year anniversary of the first time I ever fired up "4tvs", the momentum is moving so quickly that I can't slow down. So much so that my current job is absolutely molasses. So in a rare case of double entendre that isn't sexual, I can't slow down and I can't slow down by continuing to throw 40 hours of my life each week out the window... even if it means living off a home equity line. Now I know using a 2nd mortgage to pay for a 1st is the equivalent of drinking your own urine to survive, but sometimes you just have to jump. And right now so many things are happening at once that with just a little focused energy, I can pay off that 2nd and turn my life completely downside up. With that, I introduce, the flowchart - unlocking alllllllllllll the secrets:
Hahahaha. Look at that. My dad was trying to explain to someone everything that has happened and was just confused. So the other day he says:  "You need to make a flowchart". I laughed. He responds:  "No, seriously, I'm LOST. Make a flowchart". LOL. So I did, and hours later I think I'm still lost. Wow, posting that gives away the Seth Rogen secret doesn't it. Meh, I'm not name dropping - it's just the truth. Also, if you're still totally lost? Start at the green squares and work your way up and it should make more sense. Either way, it's very clear: I, Can't, Slow, Down. Simple as that. If I don't quit this job and pursue every single one of these angles to the absolute maximum, I might as well become an accountant. This is the type of momentum that is so laden with opportunity that even focusing all of my energy on it, I'll still probably miss some avenues...
...of course that's where Paradigm comes in. I meet with Alisa on Thursday and that will most likely be the piece that allows me to juggle everything successfully - and even make enough money that I'll wonder why I ever stayed so long at the 9-5 in the first place. However, there's even some romance in that. I started the first week of June last year and I'm ending the last week of May this year. I never enter year two. As a guy who loves to find the romantic angles to even the most mundane situations, that's pretty "Journeyriffic".
As is this entry's video:
If your computer can handle it (meaning it doesn't stutter once it's loaded) click the "HD" button... incredible.
A song I recorded 15 years ago seemingly foreshadows this moment beautifully and begs the question, "what the hell could you possibly be doing in high school that would inspire this song?". But seriously, do you remember high school? High school was busy as SHIT. I remember getting to college and exhaling because it was so much easier. I wrote this song in the middle of my senior year when I was dealing with 8 classes, the lead in the school musical, putting together my first cassette "Unreal", and wanting to throw all that shit out the window to spend every second with Burgundie. I'd venture to say it was one of the busiest moments of my life. I recently found one of my notebooks from high school which included this page:
Welcome to the beginning of knowing I was in the wrong place. You're sitting in English class and you're writing lyrics and song titles, etc. By college? I was in a similar situation in which I was designing my first CD cover, writing topics for my WTVN talk show and trying to concentrate on whatever the professor was saying. Wow, I actually have THAT page too. I freaking save EVERYTHING:
Years later, I'm just spinning and the level just keeps getting higher and higher. Bottom line - if I don't really jump now? When will I? If I don't use the equity in my home this year? What's the point of investing in my home (that is redefining 'upside down' by the month)? Am I gonna do this when I'm 40? No. I'm gonna do this now. I'm gonna go grab my opportunites now and stop slowing down putting energy towards something else. In short, I'm gonna jump.
And who didn't know that?