4:39 PM, Thursday, April 30th, 2009:
I'm sorry. I just am. This has to be KILLING some of you. And it's probably the worst thing I could have done to new people joining "The Journey", but the locked entries should be open next week. However, the only way I can avoid not talking about anything is doing a "Randoms" entry where I specifically talk about other shit. And I certainly need to get my mind off things for an evening, so this will do us both some good.
I'm kinda giving away my workplace if you do a little detective work, but I just can't let this one go. Because holy sweet horse shit Frankenstein 3 is coming out. I work at a marketing/branding company and Dean Koontz is one of our big clients. Handling his fanmail has been the bain of our existence the entire time because 85% of the emails are asking when Frankenstein 3 comes out. Dean left Frankenstein 2 as a cliffhanger in 2005, and his take on the series is apparently overwhelmingly popular, because the pitchforks and torches have been heading our way ever since. There's been no announcement, and no news to report forever - and then suddenly we get a note that it's coming in July?!?! We're still not sure how the hell he's gonna pull it off - but everyone knows it now (though we still get the idiots asking the date after they email us FROM THE PAGE THAT SAYS it's coming out). Anyway - after hearing about this everyday for almost a year, this feels like the biggest release on the goddamn planet. This site is supposed to chronicle what changes my character, and believe me - knowing that the thousands of people that email Dean as if their fucking house was on fire because of him... knowing they will finally get their goddamned book? Priceless. I can literally sleep better. I'm sure he will too.
2) Dean Kool
Dean actually chose my voice over someone far more talented to do this little trailer for the Frankenstein comics and I just have to say "Thank You". The guy who was better does the voice of "Deucalion", the main character, and although you usually wouldn't have him do both? In this case? Yeah, you would. I have a fine voice, but I know when I'm beat and here click this - and listen to the avatar at the top of the page (gotta wait for the storms/lightening to stop). Dude just resonates like a mofo. But Dean was really cool and I think he just felt a bond because the entire office is women. He came here once and it was like "ahhh!!! testosterone!". :-) Anyway, thanks for giving me that gig and also thanks for finishing that freaking book.
3) Pavlov's Sphincter
Thanks to Jon (dude renting the guesthouse), I now drink more coffee than I ever have in my life. He's an addict for sure - and now that its just always available in the kitchen (we share that and the bathroom)... I too, kinda need it. I drank it before (helped get me goin' in the morning for workouts last year), but now I actually need it. The point of this random however is not that I drink it. It's that I have now gotten to the point, where even the thought of drinking coffee makes me have to take a sh... uhm, use the bathroom. It's trippy. Used to be - a little after the first cup... it kicks in, and we're good to go. Then, I could barely get through a cup. Then, I would literally put the cup to my lips - have to put the cup down and go to the bathroom. THEN, just the SMELL of it would work - and now? In the morning, if I think about drinking a cup of coffee - it's nearly instant. What the hell is that? Is this some incredible power I've just unleashed? I mean, shouldn't I be able to levitate or something now? I'd like to harness this for evil. I could be a cool villain. Though right now all I can envision is somehow forcing people to shit themselves with my mind. Damn, I may have just given away an incredibly funny superhero spoof.
4) Mole No
So the mole on my nose has gotten bigger. Like, I'd say 3 times bigger since I was a kid - and maybe even twice the size in the past 10 years. It's not so much cause for alarm as it's starting to get comically stared at when I meet people. I've never really cared about it as my eyes tend to dominate my features, but I've now had several conversations in the last year or so where they never looked at my eyes. All apologies for any of the breast staring I've done in my life. I get it. But I also my bank account can't even begin to think of cosmetic surgery. Enter Dr. Christy Burns (who I believe I mentioned last year, went to high school together) who said she removes moles all the time in her practice, though not usually on the face. However the location of mine is hidden enough that scarring won't be an issue. She said she'd do it pro bono. Just gotta get to Minneapolis. Now, I know cosmetic surgery is not something you probably want to get "for free", but think of it this way: she'll play along and let me make it into a Journey video. A freaking funny one at that. Do you really care if it's risky? Or do you want to see the funny movie? Exactly. I'm there next weekend. And this won't be locked. :-)
5) When Swine Flew
Oh this is a tremendous time to be flying isn't it? Forget the flight to Minneapolis - the SEVERAL I'm taking through Europe and Africa? Hell should I even be worried that they might NOT let me in? I honestly think it's all a little ridiculous. Something like 36,000 people a YEAR in this country die from the regular flu. This is just a different strain, and totally treatable, so I'm not really understanding what the big deal is. No one is explaining why this is any more dangerous - they just like to run the tally and track where it spreads. I'm still flying... as long as they let me.
6) Self-Employment JACK
So hey, that self-employment tax is fun, huh? I actually had $4000 more in expenses than I made as income last year and I OWED THE GOVERNMENT AN ASSLOAD. I had no idea you couldn't write-off against self-employment tax. This was not a fun night for me on the 15th. Of course I procrastinated, and of course it bit me in the ass, and I'm still shaking my head. What's even worse is I work this job 9-5 and I'm not W2 so it's really the worst of both worlds. LOL. I mean, I respect them for pulling it off - it's totally my complete and utter ignorance that write-offs don't affect the self-employment tax at all... but UGH. You ready for the other UGH?
7) Brilliant.
In my life I've never written a bad check. Never. It's a streak I'm very proud of. Never gone "over my limit", never been overdrawn nada. Until now. And guess what check Adam decides to pop his cherry with? The one to the IRS. Because of a misunderstanding with how my E-Trade account works, I freaking wrote a check out of the wrong account and bounced a check to the government. And although I haven't gotten the notice yet, it means I also bounced a check to the state for my property taxes on the 10th. How's THAT for beginner's luck HUH? Like, I don't fuck around when I screw up. It's like your first car accident hitting a rolls royce or your first broken bone being a VERTEBRAE. Way to go slick.
8) Slick Tracy: 20 Years Later
Speaking of Slick, I've found the main members of "Slick Tracy" (a short film I made in 1990) on Facebook and I'm gonna attempt to redo the movie next year in Columbus. My intention is to actually reshoot the entire thing shot-for-shot 20 years later as opposed to doing any sort of sequel, and just have fun with how goofy the script was back then. I mean, no offense 1990 Adam, but you were 14. It's pretty bad. LOL. But I'm proud of it for what it was. I needed to announce it so I'm accountable to make it happen. These guys all have actual lives now and it turns out the people in their mid-thirties have families and can't just run off to shoot a movie on a random weekend? Wow. Heh. So it's gonna take a lot of co-ordinating, but this type of shit was made for The Journey.
9) 100 days isn't even 1/3 of a year.
This whole 100 days thing is horseshit. Absolute horseshit. It is a barometer of nothing, he's done exactly what we thought he would do - and the other side has reacted as planned. It's all a game, it's all a charade and it frustrates me only because there are serious, serious issues at hand and everyone's busy posturing for their side. I mean these goddamn teabaggers? Why don't you just wear a sign that says "I'm Simple Jack". Even yours truly, Mr. Small government Libertarian, knows damn well that all of that ideology has no place when you're in a freaking emergency. It's like worrying about getting blood on your new shirt when hand was just cut off. People are so goddamn self-centered and lack all self-awareness. If I was starting my own country from scratch, I believe in nearly all the Libertarian ideals, but folks - we're not. For example, if an independent or Libertarian candidate won in 2000? I could get behind that. Prosperous time, no wars - it's time to start cutting and changing the direction of the country. The state we're in now? Ron Paul, go home. The spending we're doing now is not a liberal policy. It's an economic policy that BUSH started last fall for crying out loud. These bailouts aren't some liberal policy (believe Obama when he says the last thing he wants to do is be responsible for MORE shit like running a bank or car company) they're what any economics professor would say has to be done to avoid a depression. Bush, Obama, McCain... any president would do the same thing - 'cause no one wants a depression on their watch. And because of these actions, we won't have one. It actually is, and will continue to, work. It's a cyclical thing that has happened dozens of times before to varying degrees, but since no one wants to open a BOOK, they don't bother to realize that. It's easier to call him a socialist, communist, muslim, half-breed, fill-in-the-blank name and picket something you literally haven't the slightest idea about. And judging an administration that was handed THIS many emergencies after 3 1/2 months is an exercise in futility. Enough.
10) ...except one thing:
You never look past torture. Period. He almost fucked that up HARDcore, and saved it with passing it off to Holder. This, as well, is NOT A LIBERAL ISSUE. Goddamnit. What has happened to the Republican party?!?! I listen to some of these politicians and pundits and my jaw is on the floor. Torture is "ok" because it got results? Don't you realize that's exactly what the terrorists wanted? In one act and a few short years they've made us rewrite our entire moral and ethical code? We don't torture. We just don't. I mean, I'm even ok with a little "grey area" moments that may go too far that we all assume happens, but that's not what we're talking about. The explicit instruction to waterboard some dude 300 times in a month is torture. We have to investigate those responsible and hold them accountable. Have to. This isn't a vendetta against an administration I was obviously against, it's about the history books reflecting that we made an eggregious error, we fixed it - and it never continued. Torturing is simply not something America does. And we ALL KNOW THIS! Why are people actually uttering the words "because it got results" as justification? That doesn't matter. It never has. First of all, results are implied when you torture someone. That's the whole point of torture. To get information. Otherwise, you'd just kill them. So saying that "getting information" is justification for torture is like saying a bloody nose is justification for punching someone. It's completely missing the point. We do not open that pandora's box because we are the United States of America. Does Al-Qaeda do it? Yes. Is that unfair? Yes...they are terrorists. Duh. This is like rationalizing with 6 year olds. And how on earth did this topic become a liberal issue. No wonder people are jumpin' off the Republican ship so fast...
11) DC Balancing Act
...which I don't think is a good thing AT ALL. I know I'm a strange bird when it comes to my political beliefs because I'm all over the map, but one thing I'm certain of is that although the 2 party system is a freaking wreck, a 1 party system is a disaster. I'm not so much worried about the "fillibuster-proof" majority because there's enough centrist democrats that there's still compromising to be done... but we NEED balance. We need some conflict and some compromise. We just do. I don't want to see people jump from the Republican Party, I want to see a new leader, new ideas, new thoughts - that comes up and makes both sides strong again. I don't know how anyone could be proud to be a Republican right now. It has somehow dengrated to the lowest common denominator fear mongerish racist bunch of inbred teabaggers in the pockets of rural America. Can they not do the math? Probably not actually - HA. White people will be an absolute minorty VERY soon. You ARE the Whig party if you don't drop the fundamentalist Christian attitude and archaic mentality. The ship ALREADY left when Obama got elected. You can still swim to it - but 2008 was more than just a black dude becomeing president, it was a paradigm shift that changed the entire country. It's minority rule and a "whites-only" party might as well by the hoods now, because that's about how much clout you're gonna have in 2012 or 2016. You betcha.
12) McCartney's Mimic
Considering what is housed in Entry #879, this is ever-so-slight, but since most of you haven't read that yet, and the fact that this is totally true, I have to tell you. During a song at Coachella, I was singing along with Paul and he looked at me right as I sang the end of the verse. It was a classic "cause & effect" verse (that I honestly don't remember, 'cause I blankced out) where the beginning sets something up, and the end of the verse answers that set-up. Like off the top of my head "It was a sunny day... 'cause the clouds rolled away". So I sang the first part of the verse with my head up, and then tilted it to the side like a dog would on the 2nd part. (this is the hardest thing to describe ever). Paul actually smiled at this and on the next verse, still looking at me, did the exact same head nod and continued on with the song. I laughed 'cause I knew he was basically just goofing on me 'cause he caught me overacting a verse. Kinda like Dana Carvey's bit on how when guitarists change a chord they have facial expressions of "surprise" like they just discovered something? Anyway - as I said, I laughed at his "mimic-reply" which at that moment seemed completely normal 'cause I was front and center. And not 5 seconds later I almost shit myself because it occured to me what actually just happened. This isn't an everyday occurence Adam, that was pretty goddamn cool and you'll remember it the rest of your life. Of course it was surpassed a few days later when he actually SAW video of me... WHAT? HUH?!?!?!
That was cruel. I apologize for that. You'll want to make sure you read the locked entries when they're opened up next week. :-)
13) Spooky Timing
If you go back and read the end of April, beginning of May in 2006 - the similarities are uncanny. Oh wait, GODDAMNIT I keep forgetting no one knows what's going on. DAHHHHHHHH. Now do you see why I hate locking entries? Shit. Well, the point was that my time at this job is coming to an end. I'm in the same mode I was in back then during America's Got Talent/Let's Bomb Iran (which again, is amazingly end of April, early May) and I cannot concentrate at work. I would remake the video, but it's identical to the one to the right. That's what it feels like. I'm jumping up and down inside and I don't want to waste their money.
I'm also missing opportunities because I can't fit everything into the hours I have after work. It's identical to what finally made me leave my job back then. It was risky then, and actually all blew up in my face a month or so later. Had I not suddenly gotten that infamous call on September 5th that started the CBS/Egos Odyssey, I would've been in some shit. This time however, there is SO MUCH MORE rolling down this hill and I'm not gonna have a choice. Expect that entry very soon. If I thought the trip to Europe/Africa was a Hail Mary, how 'bout that marking me officially out-of-work?
14) The Walker Reaction
So I returned the DVDs Ann lent me of her series "Sordid Lives" and proceeded to have one of the most fun and laughter-filled nights I've had in quite awhile. First of all, the woman has a stocked bar like it's a freaking neighborhood tavern and since I'm used to the cheapest bottom shelf alcohol on the planet, this was pretty cool. I'm also known as "one-beer" Kontras for a reason, so I was a cheap date. LOL. Thinking of it now, I don't remember a whole lot... was I just Mrs. Robinson'd? HAHAHA. I kid, I kid... but I really don't remember why we were laughing so much? Oh I remember... it started with me mentioning I had been married 3 times and she had the "Reaction of the Century":
"Oh fuck me running in a field..."
I literally choked. It was so instant and such a sincere "shocked" reaction...and then suddenly? I wasn't the little kid anymore. We were just 2 people with a lifetime of stories to laugh about and it was probably the first time I was ever able to wear my "record" as a badge of honor. She's been in the industry for <ahem> years and man, we all have Journeys you know? Her close calls and successes are just remarkable as is her unwillingness to give up. I respect the hell out of that, and when people like that take notice of you? It's incredible. You know you're not gonna fall. Same thing when David Jacobs (Dallas Creator) said the same thing... christ even THAT is locked from last summer... isn't it? Yes. Damn. A lot to release next week. Simply put, I have some great people in my corner right now and it's a feeling second to none..as was that reaction. :-)
Anyway, the entries are gonna come incredibly fast in the month of May. I'm sure a whole lot will never be seen because of that (and because of Facebook's inability to send a message to the whole group any faster than 3 days) and it's really unfortunate. But I know at some point they will be. In fact, I've never been more sure of that point until just now.