entry unlocked 05.14.09
12:02 AM, Sunday, April 26th, 2009:
Waves. This is CRAZINESS. This is exactly what happened in 2006 when Let's Bomb Iran and Olbermann converged with America's Got Talent which slammed into Living Room Live and CBS & The Egos - while dealing with all sorts of personal shit, a difficult job and the death of my grandmother. The first decade of The Journey is literally defined by streaks. Streaks of nothing followed by streaks of everything. So it wasn't lost on me that the Atom Films meeting was less than 24 hours after the Weller-Grossman explosion... and most likely was gonna follow suit. What I didn't realize, was just how valuable the previous meeting would be to the latter.
Atom Films is now part of Comedy Central. Like, I went to Comedy Central's front desk, waited in their waiting room to see Peter at Atom Films. The exact same place I'm gonna be a couple weeks from now. And once I told him what was going on with Weller-Grossman he was really, really excited. He knew the production company, obviously knew the guy I was meeting with (even showed me the room and the conference room we'd probably be in) and thought the timing was just so cool. "Wow, you're gonna be right back here in a couple weeks!" he smiled. And he's doing awesome. When we first met we after they bought "Let's Bomb Iran" it was at a restaurant on Larchmont because (and I didn't realize this) he was working out of his home. Now he has one of the pimpest offices (with a view you have to see to believe) and is pretty much running the programming side of Atom Films. Very happy for him, he's obviously worked his ass off and has seen the company from independent to being owned by MTV Networks and playing with the big boys. They even have a 30 minute slot on Comedy Central now in late night. Great internet success story for sure.
So we were both just kinda giddy to start the meeting. Both in such good places since the last time we met this became less of a pitch as a way to keep the fun going, you know? Because of the quality of The Egos episodes, and the fact that I'm a one-man band budget-wise... this is just a pretty easy sell. He thought the 4-Square idea was great, wants to do the 10-part series this summer and the only question now is if we can get a sponsor to bring in real money. I mean even without a sponsor we'll probably end up doing it (considering I was gonna do it just for 4tvs.com anyway) but there's a possibility that this gets a good-sized sponsor. Seriously, I think this can become an actual television show. Once you understand the game? The whole "screw one guy" angle (that's inherent in the game anyway) matches PERFECTLY with a reality show. And you just can't fathom how much emotion is involved when you've worked your way up to A (techincally the "4" square) and you get knocked out because two people decide to just screw you over (i.e. one guy lobs it to the next and you get slammed). I'm actually getting angry just typing about it. I'm extremely excited to share it this July.
Oh, and that's how it's probably gonna work. Casting in May and then the first show will start in early to mid-July and run for 10 weeks to mid-September. And seriously - it's just a question of "how much" not "if" at this point. Peter knows what I can do and he's really excited. So many things are converging at once I can barely keep my head on straight...
...but guess what I'm dreaming about? Guess what my sub-conscious STILL can't wrap its head around? The girl I'll just call POISON from now on. The one I wrote "How To Hurt Me" about in February. Long story short, she wanted the relationship to be more, I couldn't at the time, we became friends for months afterwards until suddenly - a complete erasing from her life. Out of the blue. Someone I considered a really good friend, whom I gave an expensive camera to so she could put her portfolio together, and even introduced to a contact at CBS and got her work - just randomly blocked me from every single communication with zero explanation at the start of the new year. This is something that has never happened to me in my life. I know it's strange being friends with every woman you've ever known - but it's normal to me. And I don't care if she can't be friends, just - I don't know, let me know? LOL. Anyway, it never enters my waking thought. This clearly wasn't a "friend" so I don't waste time with it anymore - but my sub-conscious mind can't get enough of it. Yes, it's Sub-Co's FAVORITE DREAMLAND SHOW! So in honor of that, I present this:
If your computer can handle it (meaning it doesn't stutter once it's loaded) click the "HD" button...
...which is about as cryptic and symbolic as Journey videos get. It's completely a message to her and all I can say is that if you're going to shit on me and cause me pain for longer than I even knew you... I'm gonna at least have fun with it. :-) I'll at least make art out of it. I'll at least make a game out of it.
It is fascinating just how much this affects me. It's making me understand why I have such good relationships with women in every possible stage. I see things through, I communicate fully on every possible level and I empathize constantly. There isn't a moment in an interpersonal relationship where I don't look at things from both sets of shoes...and because of that, there are so many people in my life that would otherwise be considered a "sore point". It's funny, Charlotte is a good example of that - and I have to admit, I haven't told her about the most recent happenings because I am looking at it from her perspective as an ex-manager, and feeling how that will hurt. We've been able to maintain a friendship simply not talking about that side of things, but this all might blow that to hell. Makes me sick to my stomach, but I care enough about her to try and find a way that we can be in each others' life without that "pink elephant" killing us. So hard. That's the one problem with living your life as I've chosen to... it only works if both people are willing to face the same pain. Clearly, Poison wasn't able to. Which to newcomers I should say - that's completely cool with me, just LET ME KNOW. But will Charlotte? If things take off and it becomes clear that she and I weren't a good fit in a business sense, is there a path? I don't know. We tried to talk about the elephant awhile back and it ended up going in circles with nothing resolved. It could turn very ugly depending on what happens with Comedy Central. I'm doing everything I can to avoid that.
Anyway, I'm bumming out a great entry which is the continuation of the "high" from Weller-Grossman into Atom Films... which then went into picking up my Dad at the airport and watching movies and playing Rockband... but I'll save that for the next entry.
Here's to "The Dream" continuing for the foreseeable future.