The fact that I
can even write an entry like this is a testament to
having done something right with this video
blog. I really can't imagine there are too many
blogs/vlogs that anyone could go from start to finish
like one complete story. I was extremely fortunate to
have had a clear direction in why I put an entry up
(chronicle what changes my character) and that has
never changed since Day 1. Because of that, you really
can go through the entire Journey wondering:
"What happens next?". I've always felt that if you can
get to the birth of The Trinitrons (February 2001),
you're hooked. Several people have done the whole
thing and continue to follow it - but none since the
CBS explosion have tried to start from Day
1...until now.
And she's not a
stalker. LMAO. She needs this to be made very clear.
She's simply an avid reader. What's great is that she
has absolutely no knowledge of me prior to this. Isn't
really a friend of a friend that we're aware of - so
for me? This is a gold mine. Rarely do you ever get
such a random sampling of what someone thinks - so I
told her, once she was finished, I had a bunch of
questions to ask. The result is not only to me, but
I think many longtime readers (and especially new
ones come to think of it), is pretty fascinating. And
if any of you are thinking of doing this, don't read
this interview. Spoilers GALORE:
Adam4tvs:
How long did it take
you from start to finish?
Jen:
about 3
months
Adam4tvs:
What made you want to
start?
Jen: it
seemed interesting..
Adam4tvs:
Did you read
something current and then go back? If so
how many entries before you decided you
didn't want to know anymore?
Jen: you
had sent me the link to the intro and i
read that..
Jen: then
you kept posting on facebook
Adam4tvs:
oh the reintroduction video?
Jen:
yes
Jen: and
i started wondering who you were and what
you did
Jen: i
think you asked me to be your friend on
f/b in october and i started to really
read it in november
Adam4tvs:
Jumping ahead a
moment - after going through so many highs
in 2006/2007 are you a bit letdown at
where we are in March 2009?
Jen:
no...thats what life is about. you have
your highs and lows then just the
middles
Jen: it
will change at some point
Adam4tvs:
What were the saddest moments for
you...
Jen: the
whole depression timein 2002...thats just
sad
Jen: then
the way you were treated by donna. no one
should be treated that way
Adam4tvs:
did you ever cry?
Jen: when
shizzle passed away. cried my eyes
out
Jen: ok
if i refer to you as him its only because
i think of it as two differant
people
Jen: but
there were times that i just wanted to hug
him
Adam4tvs:
Favorite
entry...
Jen:
gotta think...
Jen:
price is right was awesome
Jen: you
doing the comedy store
Jen:
...
Jen: see
this is hard for me, i dont see it as
seperate entries...it's one long
story
Jen: the
sopranos
Adam4tvs:
What was your least favorite
part?
Jen:
locked entries
Jen:
grrr
Adam4tvs:
LOL
Jen: just
when things are getting
good...LOCKED
Adam4tvs:
Favorite song?
Jen:
saying when
Adam4tvs:
What surprised you the most?
Jen: that
you havent "made it"...
Jen: you
can sing and act and do all the behind the
scenes techy stuff
Adam4tvs:
More specifically, what turn in The
Journey did you not see
coming?
Jen: the
whole after effect of the comedy
store
Jen:
getting screwed on the backside of that
whole mess
Adam4tvs:
Would you have let Donna get
deported...
Jen:
hmmm...
Jen:
thats a hard one
Adam4tvs:
tell me about it...
Jen: i
dont think i would have married someone
just to get to know them
better
Jen: that
sounds harsh
Jen:
sorry
Adam4tvs:
Don't be!
Jen: but
i was with someone for 13 years and
thought i knew him
Jen: so
whatcha gonna do
Jen: you
went with your heart
Adam4tvs:
feel free to throw questions to me
too...
Jen: i
got one, you like your body dont
you?
Adam4tvs:
cause i'm always naked?!!?!?
Jen:
either you are shirtless or
naked
Adam4tvs:
Interesting, at times I do...
Adam4tvs:
but mostly, no - not at all...
Adam4tvs:
it's a form of accountability for
me
Adam4tvs:
this is a GREAT topic actually
Jen:
ok
Adam4tvs:
for example, the one you have to be
thinking of is "Breaking 160"
Jen: well
yeah
Jen: and
the jesus video
Jen:
which omg is a riot!!
Adam4tvs:
to me, showing that sets a bar
Adam4tvs:
when you're showing yourself so much, you
have to be aware of that
Adam4tvs:
for example i was 30 - 35 pounds
overweight during the egos
Adam4tvs:
it is hard for me to watch those episodes
now
Adam4tvs:
so when i lost the weight again in 2008 -
i was like - PUT THAT SHIT ON THE
SITE.
Adam4tvs:
remember, it's a personal journal too...
so for most people it's almost like
putting a pic on your refrigerator
to remind you of
where you need to be.
Adam4tvs:
now the 2 videos in question? the funny
thing to do was to be naked... so i did
it
Adam4tvs:
it was the biggest laugh - so i went with
it
Jen: and
they both were very funny
Adam4tvs:
ok so along those lines... what have you
gathered from The Journey about
me?
Adam4tvs:
meaning, the patterns (good or
bad)....
Jen: that
you love to be in love...
Jen: that
even when you get the rug pulled out from
under you, you get back up and try even
harder
Jen: and
you are pretty damn lucky
Adam4tvs:
You actually think I'm lucky?
Jen:
yes
Jen: you
just found a new sofa
Jen: when
you need a job, one pops up
Jen: it
may not be the job you want but it leads
you to what you need
Adam4tvs:
Will the next big break come from The Egos
or The Journey as the 1st video
blog...
Jen: well
the journey...i think that would be closer
to the end of the year
Jen: and
the egos...hmmm
Jen: i
liked the late show idea
Jen: too
bad about that
Adam4tvs:
will i be in a
relationship in one year...
Jen: yes
you prob will be
Adam4tvs:
Favorite Kenny Birthday
song...
Jen: the
backward one was neat, but a lil
freaky
Jen: the
one on the set of the price is right made
me laugh
Jen: ok i
got one...
Adam4tvs:
k
Jen: how
did/does it make you feel to have someone
that you met through facebook,
Jen: read
it all
Adam4tvs:
why is facebook different?
Adam4tvs:
oh you mean a complete
stranger?
Jen: yes
a stranger
Adam4tvs:
HONORED
Adam4tvs:
seriously - it makes me think I did the
right thing to continue, you
know?
Adam4tvs:
it's a discipline that I haven't the
slightest idea how i've kept
up...
Adam4tvs:
so the fact that someone who knew nothing
about me, found it interesting enough to
keep going... makes me very
excited.
Adam4tvs:
which is why i'm asking all these
questions - i need a couple thousand more
of you... and am trying to see what angle
is most "hooking" people
Adam4tvs:
although i think it's just a matter of how
successful i am in my career whether
people will bother
Jen: well
the youtube thing helped
Jen:
alot
Adam4tvs:
oooh, i wanted to ask someone
tihs
Jen:
ok
Adam4tvs:
always been my theory that the good times,
aren't as interesting. Say - the second
season of The Egos when it was a lot of
episode entries and so forth... that the
bad, depressing times are far more
engrossing. Did you find that to be
true?
Jen: yes
only because i wanted to see how it would
turn out
Jen: i
wanted you to get a "win"
Adam4tvs:
Did America's Got Talent surprise
you?
Jen:
yes
Jen: and
i watched that last season
Adam4tvs:
was that not the cruelest shit
ever?
Jen: uhh
yeah
Adam4tvs:
and then losing living room live, my
grandmother dying
Adam4tvs:
holy fuck what a month or two
Jen: you
would have been perfect for that
too
Adam4tvs:
IIIIIIIIIII KNOW!
Adam4tvs:
lol
Jen: but
had you done that...then you wouldnt have
done cbs
Adam4tvs:
yeah - no it works out... The Egos turned
into so much more with the freedom I had
on CBS
Jen: and
even though that turned to shit...you
still got some great
connections
Adam4tvs:
and a great reel - fo sho
Adam4tvs:
When the 2nd season started and the Egos
were outside of the TVs.... were you
surprised I was gonna do it like that the
whole season?
Jen:
yeah
Jen: that
was amazing...all the work that you
did
Jen:
wow
Adam4tvs:
Did anything take you out of the illusion
of it being 5 different people, or did you
always buy into it?
Jen: i
see them (notice "them") as 5 different
people
Adam4tvs:
oh believe me, I do it too...
lol
Jen: they
each have their own
personalities
Jen: its
like i know them now too.
Jen: and
the lil 'where are they now' thing at the
end of 3...right on
Adam4tvs:
i know you just finished it today, but
does it make you think about anything in
your own life differently?
Jen:
yeah
Jen: im a
lazy lump
Jen: like
youve done all this amazing stuff and what
do i have to show for myself
Adam4tvs:
well, fuck. that wasn't my intention.
LOL.
Adam4tvs:
Did any april fools day get
you?
Jen: the
first and the last one
Adam4tvs:
oh you thought she was
pregnant!
Jen:
yeah
Adam4tvs:
yeah - the dad video nailed
it.
Jen: i
didnt look at the date
Adam4tvs:
What other person in the journey do you
most like, have the most positive feelings
about?
Jen: jess
seems like a really nice girl
Jen: your
friend paddy sounds funny
Jen: this
isnt a person, but, the music cafe where
you have performed sounds cool
Adam4tvs:
oh yeah kulak's? Totally is.
Adam4tvs:
Did you ever think I crossed the line with
what I wrote about?
Jen: no i
dont think you crossed the
line
Jen: you
wrote what you felt
Jen: and
it is your journey
Adam4tvs:
did you pay attention to the notes at the
top that said when the entries were
unlocked?
Jen:
yes
Adam4tvs:
ok - whew. 'cause man, those are really
importnat - they tell a story in
themselves
Adam4tvs:
it had to be good to be able to read shit
that wasn't unlocked for like 3 years and
know no one else got to read
em
Jen:
yup
Adam4tvs:
do you consider yourself a
reader?
Jen:
yes
Adam4tvs:
what do you usually read?
Jen:
twilight
Jen:
harry potter
Jen: all
of anne rice
Adam4tvs:
Funniest video?
Jen: i
can tell you which one kinda freak me
out...
Jen: the
sped up on acid looking ones
Adam4tvs:
yeah
Adam4tvs:
What/who made you
laugh in The Egos?
Jen: i
love dewey, but i know a few people like
that
Jen: i
work with spencers all day
Jen: gary
is the funniest wigger out
there
Jen:
lol
Adam4tvs:
did you notice though in The Trinitrons...
he actually has it in him
Jen:
yeah
Adam4tvs:
its not completely wigger
Adam4tvs:
thats why i like him - if he didnt try so
goddamn hard he'd be
alright...
Adam4tvs:
but he always does...and is inadvertantly
funny because of it
Jen: the
indiana jones video...thought you were
gonna fall off the roof
Adam4tvs:
hahaha
Jen:
the wikiwars when he
threw the water in your face... laughed my
ass off
Adam4tvs:
best shit ever.
Adam4tvs:
you happy or indifferent when it's a
randoms entry
Jen: love
them
Jen: its
like a look into adams life and not the
journeys life
Adam4tvs:
right...
Jen:
whats the process of the songs? do you
just sit at the piano and write then out
or do you write the lyrics then find the
melody? what?
Adam4tvs:
several
ways...usually
chords on the piano
Adam4tvs:
and i do this thing where... i sing
words
Adam4tvs:
nonsense words sometimes
Adam4tvs:
and certain melodies/chords
just sound like they
need THIS word
or line with
it
Adam4tvs:
and you sort of feel your way through
it
Adam4tvs:
other times events in my life are so
intense i
just have to find a way to communicate
that. so i
sit down with something in
mind
Adam4tvs:
and let my fingers find the
feeling...
Adam4tvs:
i also sing... constantly
Adam4tvs:
i mean, constantly
Adam4tvs:
to the annoyance of those around me for
sure
Adam4tvs:
so there's always melodies, always music
and when a good one hits
Jen:
gotcha
Adam4tvs:
and i try to capture in the videos - the
moment it's done
Adam4tvs:
i do end up having to do a few takes
depending on how complicated it is...but,
i love the moment more than
anything
Adam4tvs:
because if you go back over the journey -
i look different, move different, sound
different at all the times in my
life and that
gets lost - when you stop everything and
produce it
Adam4tvs:
i want to feel the moment. so when i hit
those old songs? I'm there.
Adam4tvs:
so do you intend to keep reading now that
you started? Or are you burned
out?
Jen: no i
will keep reading. ive started reading
"palaur"
Adam4tvs:
ooooh. whew. that was actually the
foundation for the journey. 'cause the
story needs all the parts to work, any one
by itself doesn't....
Jen: and
the cd101 and wtvn entries
also
Adam4tvs:
oh well now you're just insane.
LOL.
Jen: i
could have told you that
Adam4tvs:
alright - well thank you for answering all
my questions... that was fun.
Jen: no
thank you for letting me read
it
Adam4tvs:
good answer. :)
Suuuuuuuuuuch an
interesting read to me. 2 parts really stuck out for
me. When she said I was "lucky" and when she said I
hadn't "made it". Now she meant both in completely
supportive ways, but both are difficult things to hear
right now. I mean I wrote an entire entry when
all the stuff blew up in April 2006 about "luck".
Because I've always said - yes, you actually need
luck. It isn't 100% hard work and determination and
talent. I did nothing different in April 2006
than I did the rest of The Journey, my numbers
just came up that month.
My problem with
saying I'm "lucky" however, is that in 10 years you
could say it... maybe 3 times. LOL. The other 860
entries are filled with banging my head against the
wall and creating a goddamn UNIVERSE of content to
deaf ears and blind eyes. So "lucky" is not the
term I'd use. But again, if she's talking about my
"sofa"... well sure. I believe we all have those
moments. However, how many people would've put that
shit on the top of their car, by themselves, and
gotten the whole set in like 13 minutes? I'd venture
to say that opportunity passed several people by
before I got 'em. So, luck or hard work?
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.....
And the whole
"made it" thing. It's the one thing CBS taught me
more than anything: you have to "make it"
several times. 'Cause there's always a higher
step. My face (in several incarnations) on national
television every week in front of 3 million people for
a year? One "made it" step...but there is no
final summit. Even had "Up & Adam" gone
through? Chances of cancellation were about 95%. But
tell me if I wouldn't have felt "I made
it" sitting at that desk doing my first show?
Cancelled a month later? I would have to start
ALLLLLLLLLL OVER. Kinda like I am now. So
"made it" is a different term to everyone. Like,
I was talking to other band members Saturday
night and they just kept saying about the first video
blogger ever thing: "You have that... forever."
And while true, ny definition? Means I don't have
to work a 9-5. That's why CBS was a great year...
I could focus all my energy on something
incredibly creative. That year, I had "made it"
and the only question left was how high I could
go. Since then, I'm not making it. So I gotta keep
pushing.
Like, I think
"Marcy Playground" made it. Who gives a shit if
it was 1 song. #1 for 15 straight weeks - and
still touring off the success of that single.
People can shit and piss on them for not having
several... but WHAT EVER. Your job is... what
again? Right. Speaking of them...
If your computer
can handle it (meaning it doesn't stutter once it's
loaded) click the "HD" button...
incredible.
I like bein'
sneaky. :-) How good did this footage/sound come out
for hiding a camera in my coat? HD version...
just unbelieveable. Hope you have the computer that
can stream that badboy.
Hope you enjoyed
the interview...
Adam
PS - Ooooh shit,
my first random FB photo tag that I wasn't
prepared for:
...that IS kinda
creepy. LOL. I always disregarded everyone
talking about privacy issues with Facebook because,
who am I kidding - my entire life is online. But
it's a different feeling when you aren't the one
uploading it. At least you can't see that the guy next
to me is cupping my balls.
