(If your computer can handle it please check out the YouTube link and 'Watch in HD'. It's Incredible.)
10:00 PM, Sunday, March 1st, 2009:
I continually feel the need to remind people that I am not as romantic as The Journey paints me. Ironic considering I write the thing. Simply, it's my job to write what's happening, and as a writer I can't ignore the symbolism or refrain from accentuating the romance of it all. I live logic, report romantically. That being said, this is awesome...
In the summer of 2002 while trying to dig myself out of an intense depression I made a short film called "Stability, Potential, Success". It was a way of trying to plot out how my career would come together. I was as lost as I had ever been and making this video really, really healed me. I decided that I would make a 4tvs show about The Journey that fall in an attempt to make a positive out of such a difficult time in my life. It was repeatedly put-off to the point that now it would be nearly impossible - but the video became kind of the symbol for the site and the mountain has been lovingly referred to as "Journey Mountain" ever since.
Last year when I went to Journey Mountain I noticed the ledge where I stood had crumbled. I was bummed 'cause I wanted to try and re-enact it, but it was just impossible now. However it didn't really occur to me until today as I was putting the new video together just what it all meant. The ledge for "Stability" had vanished. All I had left was "Potential & Success". Whew. Difficult to ignore that symbolism huh?
It's absolutely the truth. The "stability" train is gone. I'm a pretty firm believer in momentum and that by your mid-30s you have the life you will always have. Of course there are examples that contradict it but momentum is very, very difficult to reverse. If I went back to Ohio with Jess in 2004 and had a family? The chances of us moving back to LA? Slim to none. Hell even moving at 24 with a pretty good career in radio was nearly impossible had it not been for being fired. It took an act like 4tvs, plus that firing to make me try and even then, 7 months in, we were very close to coming back. 34? Hell no.
It's why the biggest entry to me will always be #500. 30-year-fixed on the house. I'm here for good. And my life will always have an inordinate amount of instability. I will never have that job I'm at for 5, 10 years. I will never have a retirement (my current house as a future rental is all I've got) and I will almost always be scheming to do more which will require jumps of faith that erase all hopes of stability. Granted, the fact that this house is my retirement - certainly curtails how big those leaps can be, but my life is never going to be like the lives of other men my age that are married with children right now. I do believe I will have kids someday, but it will always be supported by what most people consider completely unstable. So I took my "kid" to Journey Mountain to show her...
Cebe has recently begun climbing and jumping so damn well I thought... "Alright bitch, let's see you climb a mountain."
...and she did. Totally badass. Only one part (other than the video, which she could've done without my help) that I had to help her. Otherwise she OWNED that thing. And how adorable is this video. :-) She is certainly growing on me.
This little mountain/trail will be a place I visit when I'm 80. I fully intend to be able to get to the top of it every single year of my life. I mean, what a view...
Fuckin' assssssssholes spray painting a goddamn rock. What? I swear, I'm goin' up with a hammer & chisel one of these days and going to town. I cannot believe some dipshit did that to that perfect shot. What a fucknoise.
!!!! BEST, NEW, CURSE WORD, OF '09. Spread it! "Hey FUCK NOISE!" Love it.
So as you can see, CeBe not feelin' the little ledge too much. Heh. Finally had to carry her...
...to get her to the "Potential" ledge. It was a very fun outing. And this almost looks like a greeting card, so I'll make it so and end the entry. :-) I have a rehearsal for the "Key Club" gig with Adam Darling on Tuesday, so expect an entry on Wednesday...
Adam & CeBe
PS - oooh, and I got a cool shot of a lizard:
Word. CeBe was too slow to catch one though. Hell, and too blind to see one - look at that thing. Badass.