(If your computer can handle
it please click this YouTube
linkand 'Watch in HD'. It's
Incredible.)
...
11:08 AM, Sunday,
February 8th, 2009:
A couple weeks ago
I was talking to Charlotte and inevitably
"career" stuff came up. Yes, the huge pink elephant
was talked about. As usual, we have our opinions. :-)
Anyway, the subject of "The Journey" came up and if it
was a positive or a negative. As much of a positive as
it is for my personal well being, you could certainly
argue that it has taken focus off some more successful
avenues career-wise by it's sheer envelopment. I like
the debate. Love to analyze. Charlotte said, "What if
you just, I don't know, took 2-3 months off from The
Journey?"
My reaction was
comical to say the least. Head shaking in mock seizure
as I sunk into my chair... had I let the feeling
continue I'm sure the fetal position would follow. All
emotion aside, the fact that I'm now recognized as the
first to ever do it, ipso-facto meaning I have the
longest running video blog in the world, assures I
will not be ending it anytime soon. It's like a
consecutive game streak at this point, and with as
competitive as I am? Fahgeddaboutit.
But it
brought up this idea of "Constant
Accountability". Since this all started
with a list of old radio listeners I was
writing to, there has always been an
audience, and always been that feeling of
responsibility to them to keep it
interesting. This video is from Entry
#23... which I find hilarious because I
felt I hadn't done enough at the end of
month TWO. It's also my first
split-screen. Heh. That feeling of
accountability was always
there...
...and it's
something that actually lead me to a very dark place
in early 2002. This pressure to succeed, because of
doing it so publically, made my first big failure
(Aspen) nearly cripple me. Suicide seemed rational
(seriously I was that humiliated) and more than
anything the fact that I couldn't "hide" it just
ate at me. Suddenly my great "chronicle to fame" was
this huge, public, failure. But that, honestly, was
the secret to the success of it all. Because once
I stopped fearing failure? It became the greatest
outlet I could've ever imagined.
Every
now and then however a reminder does hit
me like a ton of bricks. What's funny is
that even if you chronicle every fucking
thing that ever happens to you in a
decade, when it passes you still think:
"really?". I know we're only really
at 9 years, but to even see that tag,
knowing we're less than a year from the 10
year anniversary... just really hit me.
And the pressure is on yet again. The
question is asked: "What the hell are you
doing - right NOW to help further your
career."
Thankfully a lot.
Laura had been a tremendous help. I've had two
meetings with managers in the last 2 weeks - and one
that I mentioned a couple entries back really
came through. He and Laura brainstormed and got me
meetings with two more managers/agents that are also
part of bigger production companies. Those meetings
are in the next two weeks and there's just this
pervailing feeling of things moving forward. And then,
there's the call today...
...a friend of one
of my bosses at work is a voice-over actress whose
husband has been a longtime writer in this town.
I showed her my demo and she kinda flipped. Then,
in a response to an email I just kinda threw the
ol' "Hey Aunt Jemima" in as a PS and she really,
REALLY flipped. Called me and said just some of the
nicest things ever. Seems she's far more connected
than I realized and really had a fire under her
after YouTubin' me for a bit. I'm not naive enough to
get too excited, but support like that is priceless.
It really shakes you. You know? You get so insulated
trying to make it sometimes that every once and awhile
a compliment really gets inside you and you think:
"Wow, I really am doing the right thing..."
'Cause YES I still doubt. The truth of The Journey,
you always have those days. You can only believe so
long, when nothing is happening, before you start to
wonder: "hmmm... maybe I should just be a
singer/songwriter."
Ooooh great
unintentional segue. So a kid I knew in grade
school (who was in 1st grade at Clintonville Academy
when I was in 8th Grade), Adam Darling, looked me
up on Facebook and needed a keyboard player for a
really big gig he's got at the Key Club. I agreed to
for the journey of it all and because come on,
Clintonville Academy had like 85 students in the 80s.
Heh. But he came by last night and... woah. Very,
very, very much like me. Same drive, same... I don't
know how to put it. You just know a "lifer" when you
meet one. And his music, is, incredible. Very
original, great voice, good hooks... there were a
couple moments as we were talking that I had to smile
at the randomness of it all. I always said that
the only way I would ever consider really pursuing
music is if I found someone who met that same
level of determination. Maybe a side-project? Who
knows. We could call our duo "ADAM". Then we wouldn't
have to fight about who's getting top billing.
:-)
Key Club, March
7th. We're on right before the headliner: Marcy
Playground. It comes full circle. Sex with Andyman.
LOL. Hell I'll put the CD101 Entry right in here. It's
too funny. 10 years later:
(click the
picture above for the mp3)
Entry
#57
Am
I really gonna sit here and
act like I don't know
why Andyman always yells at
me?
:-)
Heh.
I'll never forget the following Monday
morning. I hadn't told him about the
song, but oh he heard about it. He came in
to my studio and said: "Play the song."
"What? What song?" "Play the song
now."
It
immediately became apparent what song it
was and as I played it he struggled to
keep the smile off his face, did quite a
good job but you could see the smirk
trying to escape. He was leaned over my
console and when it was over he got up,
walked out, and never said a WORD. Which
is just the funniest reaction because -
fuck, the hell do you say to that?
I mean jesus. This is Andyman of the
"Andymanathon". The community guy who does
things for charity and is well
respected... and then this? But truth is
this is totally his sense of humor
and he couldn't deny it.
Probably
my own personal favorite of all the parody
songs at CD101 because of my impression of
the lead singer of Marcy Playground. It's
just the perfect attitude for the song.
That and the "bow-wow" a capella parts
like a porno. I nothing instrumental
on this song and basically just recreated
the whole thing a capella - just the
drumbeat really comes through. But I
couldn't use that excuse to hold back this
once I thought of the title. THere was no
turning back. 'Specially not with Andyman
around...shit. Very clear you keep him in
front of you.
;-)
SEX WITH ANDY
PARODY
OF MARCY PLAYGROUND'S
"SEX AND CANDY"
Hangin'
round, Andy's Friday
night,
And
I had too much vodka, man I surely was
a sight,
And
then there he was...
Like
a sherman army tank, yeah there he
was,
He
smiled and called me
"Hank",
I
had Sex with
Andy...man,
What
the hell was I
thinkin'?
What's
goin' to happen at work on Monday
morning?
Mama,
this surely is a dream,
yeah,
Yeah
mama, this surely is a
dream,
Saturday
morn', where's my
underwear?
And
God I'm so damn sore, I feel like I
just shi* a chair,
And
then there he was...
It
all came back to me, yeah there he
was,
He
used me like a she,
I
had Sex with
Andy...man,
What
the hell was I
thinkin'?
What's
goin' to happen at work on Monday
morning?
Mama,
this surely is a dream,
yeah,
Yeah
mama, this surely is a dream,
dig-it,
Yeah
mama, this surely is a
dream,
I
had Sex with
Andy...man,
What
the hell was I
thinkin'?
What's
goin' to happen at work on Monday
morning?
Mama,
this surely is a dream, yeah,
yeah,
Yeah
mama, this surely is a dream,
yeah,
Yeah
mama, this surely is a dream,
dig-it,
Yeah
mama this must be my
dream...
What a
ridiculously entertaining entry this was. Too bad I
have no way of emailing anyone about it because my
mail server isn't working on the site.
(sigh)
Hopefully
I hear about the Philippines interview this week.
Crazy couple of entries, huh?
Adam
PS - seriously
check out the HD version of these videos by clicking
that feedback button down there. It's extraordinary
how good it looks if your computer is fast enough to
not stutter...
