(If your computer can handle it please click this YouTube link and 'Watch in HD'. It's Incredible.)
12:01 AM, Thursday, January 1st, 2009:
Anyone have that Grover book when they were a kid? Probably gotta be in your 30s to remember this but he desperately didn't want you to turn the page and when begging didn't work he would build walls and try to tape the pages down and you would destroy all of his work with every turn. It was pretty much the coolest book ever. Anyway, that's how I feel at this very moment. I just destroyed 2008 by starting this entry. It rocks.
As you may know, on one night in December I videotape myself getting drunk and talk about the year. As expected I pretty much wept for half of it. Ugh. So to avoid yet another ridiculously difficult video to watch, I decided to show the morning after... which was not good. After 4 years of doing the video without getting sick (I am soooo not a drinker) I lost track during the video and drank way too much, got sick and was stupid hungover in the morning. The pups clearly didn't care however. Gotta love 'em.
As I say in the video, I simply will not be in the same place I am at this moment a year from now. That isn't just positive thinking, it's just simple analyzation of all the spokes in my wheel. So many angles, so many options and a determination that is based on the knowledge that my talent/content is second to none. Let's go, let's go, let's go - is it the freaking 5th yet? Has the industry started back up again? ARE THE FREAKING holidays over? LET'S GO.
Damn, now I wanna get out of THIS entry. Clearly, I'm rather impatient. Year ten, of course I am. I can say this however - I need to get as much spotlight on "The Journey" as possible this year, so I can get some press out of the 10 year anniversary on January 2nd, 2010. With the right representation, that should be easily achieveable. I really believe taking advantage of that moniker could lead to so many opportunities. It's almost limitless. There are far too many good forces coming together. Giddy-up.
Of course this year will also be a long process with paperwork, INS interviews and it will certainly take the better part of this entire year. Ugh. It was always the brown lining of the cloud that it would have to drag on forever... but I'm glad I didn't succomb to my anger and just divorce her in May. I wish you could see my face. LOL. I typed that sentence and gritted my teeth like I was being forced to take castor oil. Ha. As my mother would say: "you're a very nice boy." But I can't even begin to tell you how badly I don't want to be. A few more months Adam.
Ahhhh what a colorful Journey man. I just can't be down on myself at all with the life I've lived. As I said in a song last year, I will look back on my life like a colorful book and have no choice but to smile at how big my heart was and will continue to be. It's certainly more fun to read than a guy who takes no risks. Man, how on earth do I continue to believe? How after everything with Donna do I still know in my heart that I will have the family I've always wanted and barely stress about it? It's a product of allowing myself to feel everything without fear of what it looked like. I didn't hide how sad or angry I was and in some respects still am. I make no bones about the fact that there is still resentment with Donna and I'm absolutely not ready for a relationship. That's the key for me and I think many of you reading. Don't avoid the negatives. Don't "silver lining" yourself away from accepting that things suck ass sometimes. 'Cause from time to time they do and allowing it in is how you really get over it and jump again.
2009 2009 2009 2009. Let's finish this run of ten years like never before.