Good GOLLY I cannot believe
I haven't written in two weeks. It figures
though...when I was doing palaur.com
a week passed so quickly I was amazed. It's
actually a sign of good things if you haven't heard
from me in awhile. 'Cause you know I write like a
madman when things suck...
Let me start off by
saying...I am home. Los Angeles,
California is my home and will be for some
time. Never was that clearer than this
past weekend I spent in Columbus. I have
never felt more uneasy in my life.
Completely claustrophobic. Jess and I came
back for our wedding shower and to make a
few more arrangements for the wedding in
August. What really got me was driving on
the freeways. Not because of the
outrageous construction (which truly is
incredible right now), but seeing the road
signs was a constant reminder of where
I was, and it just freaked me out.
You must remember that Jess and I were
already resigned to the fact that we were
coming back at the end of July. As I
stated previously the decision was simply
aritmetic and out of our control. So many
times this past weekend I felt like an
immense failure. As if I was back and
nothing had changed. Or many times like LA
had never happened, like it was all a
dream.
YouTube
link added
12.20.07
Never was that more apparent than
when I went back to CD101 to see everyone again,
and felt the stress of commercial deadlines. So
completely surreal, and incredibly anxiety-filled. An
almost constant feeling of "MUST-GET-OUT". And it just
happened to be the one year anniversary of the Late
Show going off-the air. So Marty MOOSE and I were
standing around just shaking our heads. Moose offered
Andyman $50 to let me do the Late Show Again...HAHAHA.
Moose truly misses it...I'd do it once for the hell of
it, but I'm glad that show's over. The only way I'd go
back into radio would be in talk again.
Tonight provided the final push of
"STAY RIGHT HERE ADAM" to my strange week.
I got to see a rather early advanced screening of
"Titan A.E." on the 20th Century Fox Studio lot. What
a thrill. Unlike Universal Studios, Fox isn't open to
the public. So that added to the allure of it all. The
screening was in one of their buildings. A little
25 seat theater. Basically my dream room when I become
a bizillionaire. Any of you who have sat and talked
with me for a bit know how much movie-making is in my
blood. I just love to create, and want to so
badly it's incredible. Be it creating songs, or radio
bits, or commercials, or tv shows, or movies. I thrive
on being creative. It's also been a bit of a deterrent
because at some point you need to pursue ONE. I think
I can do them all, but eventually you gotta
choose. As Eric (co-writer of Movie Minded) and I
walked around the lot, I just knew...just KNEW I was
in the right city. Although we were just seeing a
movie for our show (2nd episode), there was simply the
knowledge that this is where I should be. And after
the weekend I had, it was so wonderful.
It all kind of brings me to a
strange crossroads in this whole "Journey". It could
very well be that 4tvs has gotten me to that next
level and done everything it can do. There's still the
music end of it, but the more I think about that,
the less attractive it becomes. Let's say I do get
signed. Make an album. Go on the road to promote it
and so on...would I be happy? Uhm...no. Probably
the first time I've been able to say that. I need
to be creating constantly. And the though of creating
something and then rehashing it for a year just
doesn't have the appeal it used to. And in the long
term, I know I will get more satisfaction
out of creating a great movie than I would
creating a great album. Then again, my talents in
music and songwriting are easily shown whereas film is
a bit more mysterious. Who knows. I don't really have
to choose. I can pursue both at this point. No one's
offering a record contract. I'm just realizing though
that it would be more constricting than I'm used to,
and at this point not necessarily a good
thing.
...and also...how boring is this
journal gonna be now? You guys are used to some real
enteratinment! But the good guys winning right now.
What a bitch huh? Heh heh. Anyway, today's video is
the opening to "Movie Minded". Many of you may
remember the theme from old WTVN Late Show days.
Well it's now The Movie Minded Theme, so get used to
it. :-) HERE.
Otherwise, thanks for listenin' to
life, and remember to go to hollywoodscreentest.com
and vote for me!!!