Entry #45
5:28 PM, Tuesday, May 9th, 2000:
Whew...I'm pretty damn busy. Can't believe my last email was 10 days ago. So..what's up with this MTV thing?
Well, I've checked out all the competition, and I have to admit...they're bad. I mean...BAAAD. A couple...are pretty funny, or well done..or show talent. But the majority are very mediocre. Sounds great for me right? Not exactly. In a move obviously meant to generate traffic to their site...the MTV winners are determined by voting. What this means of course is Bubba, who can whistle Dixie out his ASS, will WIN the contest if he has his good ol' boys vote for him. GREAT. They have assured me that it is THEIR commercial, and they wouldn't air a complete NO-TALENT, but they still have to go by the votes. So now I get to solicit, which I don't do very well. There's a few rounds of voting...The first preliminary, then they cut it down to 5 people, then finally at the end of JUNE there will be one male and one female who will appear in the commercial.
YouTube link added 12.20.07
Again, it's not like I'm getting interviewed on TRL or anything (a show on MTV), it will be a 30 second commercial that will show me and probably the 4tvs in a shot along with the female that wins. EITHER WAY! It's national exposure. And it's MINE to win, because I simply put a SHITLOAD more work into my auditions than most people.
So here's what I'm asking you to do. Go to hollywoodscreentest.com. Hit "How to Get To Hollywood" and hit the "TALENT SCOUT" selection at the VERY TOP. This is to make you all feel special...LOL. You basically sign-up as a TALENT SCOUT (COMPLETLEY FREE) and it allows you to vote on the contests. I have FIVE different auditions in the MTV contest. I am NOT in the "big break" contest. If you just want to vote blindly for me because of "the love" - it shouldn't take you anymore than 15 minutes. If you actually want to watch all my auditions first it will take a bti of time...but you've seen most of them HERE, and today's entry is one of those auditions...it's my 30 second vocal audition.
And that's basically it there. Me being on freakin' national television is completely dependent on a popularity contest. You know that no one's gonna go through all this trouble unless it's their friend on the site, and if they're doing it for a friend, they're not even gonna look at the rest of the auditions. I really wish they would pick the best talents and run with 'em. But what can you do.
My last two AAAH! Capella's shows ever were a total waste:
Friday, May 5th, 2000
Everything stayed there all week.
Just as I was about to leave one of Debbie's friend's came in so I did a quick little show. It was funny because the guy was telling me I had to come up with some one-liners in between my sets...'cause when I jumped onstage I had to wait for Debbie to turn some lights around. LOL. I kept thinking to myself: "Not another one of these guys..." The ones that spend the whole show telling you what you SHOULD do. Luckily once I did these two sets he didn't have much to say. (sigh)...I hate to be shitty but everyone thinks they're THE "idea-man"...little do they know that I was that guy too...'cept..ahem...I did something about it. Heh.
And then the big One Year Anniversary:
Saturday, May 6th, 2000
Everything stayed there all week.

Again, just about to leave when two guys that knew Debbie showed up. ALl these "show-up" guys seem to get in for free for some reason, but oh well...at least I HAD an anniversary show. And this is my FINAL AAAH! CAPELLA show. The performance was strange. I've never wanted to NOT do a show in my entire life. LOL. I had no energy at all. Luckily my voice was DEAD-ON...and I soon was able to follow suit. I just didn't care tonight. Aaah! Capella has become such a depressant for me. What was the biggest deal in the world for me turned out to be nothing. On the other hand it certainly served a great purpose: It kept me going for 8 weeks whenlife was shit. Ya know? Knowing what I know no of course makes it even more depressing...but at the time it was this shining unknown that kept me going. And now I have hollywoodscreentest.com...and well the rest is history. 4tvs live performances will take a step-back for awhile, which is fine. Enough to keep fresh. So the performance finally ended...and the two guys seemed very interested in the technical aspect. Talked about the "Timecode" movie for awhile. The only thing that bums me out about Timecode is that people will think I'm copying THEM. Oh well. Not that they're copying me...but we're both creative and have an outlet in different ways.

Anyway, so that's it for Aaah! Capella... Amazing huh. It really seems like the end for the live 4tvs show. I know it isn't...but something's changed. It's as if I've gotten to that "next-step" that 4tvs was intended to get me to, and now it's a bit of a curiosity what it will become. There is still much more I wish to achieve with 4tvs...especially in the music sense. We'll see what happens.
Well, you know that I couldn't have an entry without some turmoil...J-Dog is pretty sick. Yeah, my all time favorite creature on this planet was about 72 hours from dying. He has a urinary blockage and is bleeding like crazy. We caught it in time though and basically if we give him all this medicine and some special ($25 a bag for NUTHIN) food...he "should" be ok. It's still a very good possibility he's gonna need surgery that will eclipse $1000. How heartbreaking is this. The one thing we just DON'T have is money. It's tough in a bunch of ways. If he simply needed the surgery or he'd die...well...we'd put him to sleep and just be bummed out of our minds. But he's suffering and we CAN help now...even if it ends up we're wasting our money and he still needs the surgery. I love J-Dog like a son as many of you know. Everyone feels this way about their pets, and the things J-Dog has been through with me is simply incredible. Especially when I got divorced. So we just hope and pray. If we're lucky we can nip this in the bud and simply have to feed him some expensive ass food for the rest of his life...if not he goes to doggie heaven. And I do mean doggie...lol. Oh did I mention that? Ha...no i didn't...J-Dog is my cat. HAHAHAHA. Oh well. That's life. Let's hope.
And finally...let me remind you about Palaur.com. I'm still highly excited about this and especially the responses of those who have started it and gotten through it. It's the most positive response I've gotten of ANYTHING I've ever done. I'll admit, it is indeed the most personal experience you'll ever have...reading and hearing someone else's life. It's got quite the voyeuristic feeling to it. Please check it out when you've got the time. The preview is completely free...and long...and REALLY gets you into the story. Email me if you've got any questions.
And here's the video! It says to sing a love song to a contestent you saw on the site, and I did...both of me did. :-) VIDEO.
Thanks for hearing our thoughts...
Jess & Adam
original video file
MAY 2000