Entry #43
 
11:20 PM - Wednesday, April 26th, 2000:
 
Let me reiterate the true existence of "luck" in this world. I used to never believe in it. I always thought hard work, determination, and talent prevailed. Well, no...those are just the prerequisites to attempting this business. The rest...is LUCK. Your level of work, determination and talent, may get you lucky earlier...but it's still luck.
 
So I get up Monday morning, having thought for hours about the consequences of my last letter. Check my email, and other than some shocked family members, most of you were supportive. I had told my father about CD101, and he was bummed because he kept the secret for me and now looked a bit untrustworthy...let me please tell everyone reading: He did that for me, not to lie to you! Blame me if you blame anyone. Either way, I can tell you Monday was a bad day. The depression was deep. I was losing my mind and had no one to talk to. I ended up calling Eric Moro, the producer from hollywoodscreentest.com that asked me to be in the MTV contest. Well first I emailed him this:
YouTube link added 12.20.07
 
I'm writing because I simply have to talk to someone about everything. I'm in danger of having to go back to freakin' ohio because I can't figure out what the hell to do. It may sound arrogant, but I simply have too many directions to go in. Too many talents to follow. I would give anything if we could meet sometime soon and just sit and talk. At least you somewhat know everything I can do, and maybe can help me with some direction.
Adam
 
I left a message as well and he responded within the hour. Asked if we could get together around 6 PM. Damn...well of course, I'm not doing anything...lol. So we meet at Lulu's Beehive. I explain my situation and he says he has an idea for 4tvs. Hollywoodscreentest.com is syndicating "TV Shows" or "Content" for the internet. I was unaware of how big this was. Content syndication is really starting to blow-up. A site wants to draw an audience and offers syndicated multimedia. In turn the creator of this multimedia can sell his content to thousands of sites....we're talking 200,000... The content Eric wanted to do with me is a 4tvs Movie Review. Where the 5 of us review movies. Very cool. His boss has already approved starting work on it, and a pilot needs to be made ASAP. Wow. But that's the first part. As far as my money problems, Eric felt confident he could use me with parts of their company that needed work. He'd of course have to run it by the big boss, but he was very confident. Hell YES. On top of all this is still the MTV commercial thing, which after seeing my competition, I really think I'm gonna do well. So I'm buzzin' a bit. We go back to their office and talk a bit more, and we plan to meet tomorrow to write up the contract on the 4tvs movie review and for me to submit my auditions.
 
I of course run back to Jessica with the best news that could possibly come after "the letter" I had just written. We are certainly excited...of course Tuesday is the big day. So I get in and we talk about percentages of the revenue that can be made from this, as well as a salary for me to do the bit...unfortunately everything rides on it selling. Which, from their point of view is a shoe-in, Eric feels this would KILL on regular television, and is not even a question for internet content. I signed nothing Tuesday, the contract will be drawn up for Thursday I assume. As far as the job with their company, they still say this'll happen, I jsut gotta play it cool for a bit. Well, I explain to them that this is NOT an option. I will be gone in a matter of weeks unless I get some COLD HARD CASH soon. I even stated that I hated to be so unprofessional in this setting, because I want to have faith in them and work together, but I have to have money here, or they'll have no one to work with in June. Eric then said he was sure he could get some free-lance video editing work my way, and not to worry about it. HELL YES.
 
Next I went to submit my auditions, but we their computer stuff was down...so I'll do it on Thursday. Eric and I then go get some coffee to brainstorm on how this 4tvs Movie Review will work out. This is when I really began to get pumped. We were throwing around ideas on the format. Maybe a politically incorrect type show with a roundtable...or we weren't sure. Then it hit me that if the TVs were simply my THOUGHTS...not necessarily another Adam, we could really be creative.. Picture a reviewer in the movie theater with a laptop typing his review after seeing the movie. The 4tvs are surrounding him and they are off, until he starts writing... Then you see the words he's typing, the clips he's picturing, his different psyche's interrupting him and defending their feelings...it's limitless, and it's absolutely cool as shit. It'll be a 5-6 minute review per movie. And the ideas are just flying. Of course now we need a movie to get writing. Well Eric has a bunch of media connections and can get us both into screenings of new movies...so that's perfect, but it'll take some time. We need something NOW for the Pilot. We see there's a sneak preview of "Frequency" Thursday at 7:30 PM, and there it is. The pilot is set. We walk back to the office, and I'm buzzin'. As I drove to the place to pick up the passes my head was racin'...this is a REALLY good idea and can be done extremely well. I cannot tell how pumped I am. And to have 2 people throwing ideas back and forth..that's perfect for a movie! I've always been great at taking both sides, but this is much better....WOW.
 
So before I left to get the tickets I asked him if he could please see about getting me some sort of free-lance stuff. He shook his head yes. Have I told you this guy is Jon Stewart from The Daily Show? I mean, he isn't REALLY, but sunuva bitch he looks like him. I say this only because when I run through our conversations in my mind, I'm talking to Jon Stewart. I can't get it out of my head...LOL. It's kind of cool though. In my mind I've been hangin' with Jon Stewart the past couple of days...heh heh. Well I decided to drop off the passes with him since he was on the way, and he says: "Oh, and by the way I've got a free-lance project for you to start working on that needs to be finished by the end of next week. $12 an hour cool?" Good Christ, is this a dream? Was it not 24 hours ago I was as low as I could be? I do find it a bit funny he would pick $12 an hour out of the air... I wrote that specifically twice in my last email and he is on the list. So I see a little bit of "well I know we can get him for this cheap" in that figure...then again, that's completely fair. I'm on the honor system and I'm working from my home. You can't beat that. Either way I'm floored. That on top of the pilot, the mtv auditions, the REAL position at the company and the free-lance stuff in the meantinme at $12 an hour?
 
Luck. Absolute luck. No, I can't deny that I have the talent, to do the stuff...or the work ethic, or the responsibility...or anything. We all know I've got it...but LUCK got me this day. Tuesday, April 25th. All I can say is: "Unbelievable..." It really is. Not sure if any of you knew how real the end of June was. It still is somewhat real, but I have a feeling that after they see what I can do, they will NOT let my ass go back to Ohio at the end of June. Not a chance. They've shown so much faith so far.
 
So there you have it. Can you believe it? At the most crucial time, in the most amazing way, something fell in my lap that I'm still in shock by. You know my dad always said that things have always fallen in my lap ad nauseum wherever I go. I always kind of blew that off, because I didn't really put much weight in it...but he's right. This has saved my day, and my creative juices are flowing BIG TIME. Feel free to hold your breath.
 
The video for this entry is a favorite of mine...it is my COMEDIC ENTRY for hollywoodscreentest.com. The Challenge is to tell how "CRAZY" you are about the site. How it effects your life, and how much you love it. Tell me what you think: VIDEO
 
Otherwise, thank you again for reading an entry this damn long. And please send some reactions my way...
 
Love,
Jess & Adam
 
original video file
APRIL 2000