Entry #31
1:41 AM, Tuesday, March 21st, 2000:
Monday, March 20th, 2000 - 9:30 - 10:15 PM
The Gardenia
Parked right in front, no problem. Did have to move the grand piano, but it all worked out...
YouTube link added 02.13.09
At this point I'm just lost. I honestly don't know how people can do it. Well, my name's in lights (or on lights) in Hollywood. It was an empty thrill because I knew no one would really be here tonight. Just some regulars hopefully to get the ball rolling for the next two shows. I guess, yeah I was surprised that NO ONE showed up. I guess they have no "regular" crowd, and hell I don't know anyone here. And here's where the big philosophical argument comes in. Part one involved the fact that I set up in front of a grand piano. It killed me. I just wanted to sit at the piano and sing. The owner of course saw my 4tvs tape and loved it so that would be kind of shitty. No one but the bartender ever came, so I guess it didn't really matter. I know this takes lots of time and plugging away, and here's a place that will allow me...but how can I afford to? Now I'm playing for NO ONE for FREE. I should've just set-up on the sidewalk. God I keep threatening that. I'm just in a rut I guess. Don't really know what I'm looking for, it sickens me that I could just walk in, sit at a piano for an hour, and probably make a better impression on people. Did I come all the way out here for that? JESUS. SInging karaoke and tickling the ivories. At least the latter could be creative. I'm seriously thinking of doing the next 2 Gardenia shows as piano and voice. Working out a nice little one hour act. Hell I could do that with my eyes shut. I have so much piano material...AHHHHH!!! See what I mean?! What the hell am I thinking! What's the point? How can you stay focused? And radio keeps popping up in my head because at least that would be exposure...but I'd almost certainly start on weekends, and well there go those gigs.
And then on the other hand, All of this is a pre-cursor to the "Ahh! Capella" gigs. That's the turning point, and all these are extra. Man, I can't be feeling like this 2-3 months into the game. I'll never make it. My mind wanders too much though. If one thing doesn't work out...I'm ready to try the other 7 ideas I have waiting. I just need something to tell me I'm on the right track. I guess the fact that I even have this many gigs SOOOO early is something to remember. Then again, big deal. They're ALL free. And goddamn this one was for the door, but who would know? All "my people" are in OHIO, and hell 98% of them never came to a show. How do you do it? What is it gonna take? So many questions. I know that 4tvs is the vehicle that will eventually get me to where I need to be. It shows off every talent...the acting, the comedy, the singing, the writing...but WHERE? WHERE DO I GO? Is LA even the right place? Is Vegas where I need to be? How do I know?
That's what really makes this hard, is that there is no path. This type of act hasn't been done before, so there is no "circuit". At least if I came out here to be a comedian, I would have my doors in front of me. Where the hell will 4tvs work? AHH. heh heh - ok, that's enough brainstorming for now. This is where I am early on March 21st, 2000. Feel free to add your 2 cents.
original video file
MARCH 2000