This entry is a big 3
for 1 special ladies and gentleman! Yes three seperate
entries rolled into one fantabulous day. February
20th, 2000!
PART 1:
2:44 AM, February 20th,
2000,
I guess your body just tells you
sometimes. It's a good thing I listen to
it...
It's very late, and I've been
trying to sleep. I feel horrible. Something is wrong,
and I can't put my finger on it. I'll explain the
day:
This was the big karaoke day. The
guy I met at Barney's Beanery on Wednesday, Danny Ray,
runs this karoke night at the farmer's market. As
I drive there I'm still confused on why I'm
going. Danny said to me Wednesday that this was the
next step, and we'll see if I took the opportunity.
Fine, fine, I'm goin'. I'll come to your karaoke.
Maybe he didn't see enough in my act, or
something...not sure. I get there and he
immediately takes me to the front office to talk to
the lady in charge of entertainment. He is sure I can
have my own night there doing 4tvs. She's not there,
but he tells me to give her a tape and cd and come
back down to the karaoke that's gonna start in roughly
an hour. I don't have my videotapes with me
damnit. I just brought a CD to sing 'I am
The Walrus' to...Well, I have an hour, and I'm in
HOLLYWOOD. I've dropped off a dozen tapes in the area,
and I thought I'd go back to these places and see if
they had any tpaes lying around. Kibitz room? Nope.
Barney's? Nope. Gardenia? Nope. Damn. Guess
I have to come back tomorrow to drop off the
tape. I was surprised at how well I knew the landscape
of Hollywood though...
Danny has me set to go 3rd and I
choose Stevie Wonder's Superstition. Always a good
crowd pleaser, because people don't think I white boy
can sing Stevie...I like that. I do it, it
rocks..people come up to me and tell me how good it
was...all is good. I start meeting people and
Danny introduces me and DAMNIT if everyone of them
says: "Yeah, I've heard of that..." Talking about
4tvs... WELCOME TO LA. Everyone is
"connected" right? So of course they know Danny's knew
protege... I was polite. These people were lying
through their teeth. Anyway, this is the karaoke to
end all karaoke's. It's basically auditions. One after
another. People have gotten HUGE TV roles, Plays,
movies...vegas - EVERYTHING. The place is located
right on CBS Studios. They own it all. So the singers
get a chance to come down and show potential producers
what they got. Either the crowd loves you or they're
polite. So after my song I watched and listened
closely. And you know what? It's just like any
freakin' karaoke. If you flatly sing Mambo #5 you're
still cheered on because people got to dance around.
It's pathetic. This is what gets me about karaoke.
Anyone who was a real singer/musician wouldn't
BE HERE. But REAL musicians and singers are. And
they get great exposure out of it. I HATE IT.
I'm sitting there for 4 hours watching it
OVER and OVER and OVER when all I'd really
like to do is listen to one person sing
THEIR music...
Danny got me on again, and this
time I decided to do the a capella "I am the Walrus".
Anyone who knows me knows that this has always been my
proudest achievement in all of a capelladom. A song so
structured on instruments and orchestras and sounds,
I did with my voice. It's the one thing I can
still listen to and I think to myself: "Man, I
really have a talent here..." So I get up there,
explain that it's all voice and that I did the
background and as I start to get into it, I realize
that no one's gonna care because it doesn't have a
dance beat. They can't bop their heads to it. Of
course the woman who sang fuckin' "love shack"
afterwards was all the rage. I got a few yoo-hoos
and yee-haws afterwards, and I have to hope any
producer out there would've seen the how difficult
what I just performed was...but I just wanted to
crawl in a hole and die. And not because of my
performance at all. I kicked ass, I sounded great and
some people really saw that. But I just felt
shitty...
I went back to my car and got
home and I just hurt. My stomache felt bad, and I
couldn't sleep and I just felt horrible. Like a deep
depression. It was really strange. Why? I did great
today! I really did. And when it all comes down
to it - I don't want to do karaoke. I can't
believe that I am basically being forced into a
situation where me doing "I am the Walrus" a capella
is shit because people can't DANCE to it.
KARAOKE! God, why is this so freakin' BIG?
I don't like hearing it, seeing it, sitting
through it...being in it...it's pathetic. It's such a
complete waste of time and the second Danny sang
"Achy-Breaky Heart" I should've left. Man, I'd be
embarassed to have written that fuckin TWO CHORD
song. Yes, it's actually 2 chords. Let alone try to
sing like it in karaoke. I mean for christ's sake
a guy did a weird al song. How much more unorginal can
you POSSIBLY get. I mean I always felt no matter
how good my parody songs were they were always a notch
BELOW the real song, or any original that I write.
You're stealing the melody and all thos music. And
this guy steals the parody to sing for karaoke.
(sigh)
So that's why I feel sick.
I've come all the way out here, and put my entire life
into a project that IS original - and spent the
last 5 years of my life ALWAYS trying to do something
better, more creative, and be an innovator for others
to follow - and I have to do this? The right
thing to do is to be at every karaoke this guy does.
Sing some songs as good as I can, and hope I attract
the right person. Schmooze and schmooze. It's not that
I doubt myself as a singer, it's just that
EVERYONE can do that. BIG FREAKIN' DEAL. You
hear one great singer you've honest to GOD heard
them all. I want to do something DIFFERENT.
I want to raise the bar everytime I perform. I
want there to be one person out there that sees 4tvs
who's inspired to pursue something bigger and better.
And that's not gonna happen watching some white boy
bob his head and sing the karaoke version of
Superstition. AHHHHHHHHH.....
Man I sure can write a lot
sometimes. On the other front it looks like I'm booked
at the Gardenia a couple dates in March. It's a
cabaret club and here's the biggie: My name would be
on the maquee... :-) That would be the first time
ever. In Hollywood on Santa Monica Blvd. What a
thrill. You KNOW you're getting a movie of
that.
Yeah, so things are actually doing
really good. I'm just bummed that my contact of Danny
Ray has to consist of fucking karaoke. The absolute
bain of my existence. And I know there's people
reading this that dig it and have fun with it. And I
guess I can remember being at cast parties in
highschool and them bringing it out...no -
I still hated it. I remember distinctly
going to another room and just playing piano and
singing. I'm just no fun I guess. Well at least I
feel better now. Maybe I can get some sleep. I'll
finish this tomorrow...
The next
day...
No, I'm just sick. HA HA.
That's why I felt like shit.... Now, all I wrote
before was completely true about how I feel about
karaoke. But my body feeling like shit - well that's
just a cold.
Well, I have to drop a tape off at
FARMER'S MARKET and pick up a free lunch at
Barney's. Gotta dig it. Oh did I tell you about
that? The manager keeps giving me free stuff. It's
great. You can imagine how badly I need a free meal.
Then again, no meal is ever free they
say...
10:48 PM, February 20th,
2000,
Drop off the tape, and Jess and I
head over to Barney's. I can't tell you what it feels
like. Danny was talking with Ben (the GM) and
I walk up and they're all happy to see me.
Immediately talk about how we have to get 4tvs a night
at the market and at the beanery and then Ben asks us
if we're hungry.
HE
GOES AND TELLS PEOPLE WHO WERE ALREADY SITTING THERE TO MOVE TO ANOTHER SEAT FOR
US SO WE COULD HAVE THE BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE.
Jess and I just stared at each other. It had to
have been the weirdest thing in the world. I even
said: "What the hell was that?" "They were in your
spot man..." I felt like a freakin' movie star. He
picks up the check, we have a wonderful time and I
cannot get over how good it feels. I know they're only
doing it because they feel they can make money off me.
Or maybe they're completely genuine, but I keep
telling myself the first theory to keep my head in
check. Basically, I'm polite - eat my food, save my
money (if it ever comes) and keep doing what
I do.
During this meal Jess and I are
contemplating
MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS!!!
what we are going to do on
Wednesday night. Ya see, we got invited last week
after my first show at Barney's - to the after-grammy
party for Carlos Santana. I $500 a pair ticket the
owner said he would put me on the list. Look at this
invitation: WOW
Can you freakin' believe the list
of people that are gonna be there!!!
AND I'M FREAKIN
PLAYING THAT NIGHT GODDAMNIT. Well,
it's right next door so I'll definitely stop by. I'm
not sure if Jess will be able to handle herself with
Ricky Martin and Marky Mark. But Lauryn Hill and Cindy
Crawford will be there so giddy-up.
So at this moment, as jess is
wonderin' what she's wearing for the
GRAMMY party, and I'm still shaking my head that
the manager removed people from "our seat", I am
simply in amazement. Of course Jess is still price
comparising because spending this much money on a meal
(even though we weren't paying) is 'cause for some
serious stress. Will we ever enjoy this? I mean
really. How does one deal with this sort of treatment.
If I do become famous, I really see me
NEVER going out. You know? I figure if I gain
some sort of fame in this world, I want to be working
on keeping the standard high, not enjoying these
little thrills. I sat and talked with Michael
Jordan when I was 20, what the hell can beat that?
Though if Paul Mccartney was at this party, you'd see
a quivering little bitch sitting in front of that bar
with that invite in my hand for 4 days.
I am rambling, but I'm sure you're
used to that - JESUS this entry is too big. But a
lot of shit is happening, and it's changing my outlook
on things. I want you all to "hear my thoughts"
if you will because I have a feeling that the world I
entered in January of 2000 is about to be so
drastically different, I'll wonder how the hell I got
here. That's what this is all for.
AHHH! The movie, of
course:
I've been sitting for
hours thinking about what to do for the
movie! I've decided I really want you
the reader to understand my passion for
karaoke. So the movie for today is my
tribute to the love I feel.. It is my
friend. I love it like I love Jimmy
Buffet. I wrote an ORIGINAL song about
karaoke. Actually it's a parody of one of
my own songs (from Palaur), but that's
certainly original ain't it?
Click
here fellow readers...